Boil water. Just boil water.Lots and lots of it.

I may have posted this story before. I believe I did, at least part of it.

Still, back in '62 or '63 a couple months before my baby sister was born, Dad and I were sitting in front of the old Black and White TV set watching a movie. It was a western, a real oater complete with every cliche in the book. INCLUDING 'Head 'em off at the pass".

Ma was in the bed heavy with child and watching it, too. Truth is she was waatching Dad and I watch the movie. It was a pre-WW2 oater and I believe Dad had seen it when it first came out. We had both seen it a couple of time before now that I think of it. 

We were really getting into it even though it was pretty damned hokey. We were bouncing like we were riding horses and had our fingers out like six-guns. Dad taught me that fun can be made if it's in you.

Anyway, there was the typical western pregnant woman scene where the rancher's wife was giving birth while they were waiting for the Indians to attack again.

One of the women folk had told the expectant father to boil water as per SOP in old oaters.

I asked Dad why they always make the guy boil water.

"To get him the hell out of the way so he doesn't make a pain in the ass out of himself," chuckled Dad. "Which reminds me..."

"What?" asked Mom.

"Nothing," replied Dad. He winked at me whe he said it.

A couple days later I caught Dad sneaking a small hot plate and a big pot into the cavernous spare tire space in the old Dodge station wagon we had at the time. He grinned at me.

"Don't tell your mother," he admonished. "The expectant father's waiting room a pain in the ass. It is always full of expectant fathers pacing the floor chain smoking and bugging the living dog snot out of the people behind the desk. I figure I'll just boil water like I'm probably supposed to. I've already been through this four times."

That's what Dad did when he got Mom situated in the delivery room. He ran out to the car, grabbed the hot plate and pot and got someone from behind the desk to fill it. He moved an end table over, plugged the hot plate in and put the pot on and just sat there reading a magazine and checking the progress of the boiling water.

When the woman behind the desk announced that Dad was father to a baby girl he unplugged the hot plate and went in to see Mom. On the way out he recovered the hot plate and put it back in the car.

The people behind the desk were greatly amused. They thought it was pretty funny. "Just like in the movies," said one of the women.

I think I am the only one he ever told that to and now it would be a nice thing to tell my kid sister. That's why I wrote this.


To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY