So you're going to have Fedex make an overnight delivery to the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean?

I asked the guy on the other end of the phone.

I was at work a while ago and my cell phone was on its last legs. It has been through hell and replacement was well in order. I got on the Internet and got on one of those live chat deals.

I guess I hit the lottery because I got a pretty hefty discount from the person on the other end. I couldn't refuse it. I took the deal and then the headaches started.

They offered me overnight shipping which was pretty worthless because I was at sea and had over 10 days left in the tour. I wanted them to simply hold it and not mail it until the day before I got home.

Of course, everything today is a mess because it is so automated and an exception causes major headaches.

Couple that with some clown in the middle of, say, the Kansas office that has never left the county. When I asked them if they could delay shipment the poor guy said they could deliver my package anywhere with overnight delivery. 

The person asked me what my shipping address was. I said 39 degrees 32 minutes north, 40 degrees 35 minutes west now, present courses 90 degrees at 12 knots.

"I don't understand," he said.

So I told him to open a window on Google maps and told him to type in the coordinates. I walked him through the process.

He sounded shocked. "That's in the middle of the ocean!" he said.

"Yes, it is," I replied. "That is where I am now. We are headed on a course of 90 degrees at 12 knots. You better make a note of the time so the Fedex people can figure out where we are going to be when they arrive."

"I...I...I..I don't know how to ship it to you," he said. It was obvious that confusion was reigning. His hear was ready to explode.

"If you can hold it and ship in a couple of weeks we can make this work," I said. "I will be on dry land then."

A couple of seconds later I was talking to  supervisor that came up with a pretty good idea. I could have it sent to a local Fedex place and they'd hold it for me. 

I gave him my zip and the supervisor gave me my choice of places. I chose the place I use periodically. Problem solved.

Actually it turned out to be a pretty good deal because I had a friend on the beach snag it for me and it was there when I got home.

As a sailor my life is full of having to deal with stuff like this.



To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY