Know who stops completely at stop signs?

Drunk drivers.

Yup. Drunk drivers. 

They make damned good and sure they come to a complete and total stop to make sure they don't get pulled over and nailed.

Back in the day that's what I did. That was long before the drunk driving laws were enforced. After a night of partying you drove home because you were too drunk to walk. You carefully obeyed every single rule and regulation because you didn't want to get stopped. Back then they would make you park it and drive you home. It was a nuisance having to go and get your car the next day with a hangover.

Times have changed and I have changed with them. A single beer and I am grounded. It's not worth it.

A little while back I was driving through a residential neighborhood which is something I really don't like to do especially these days because parents don't parent. 

I am very Old School. When I see a ball of any sort go into the street I don't bother looking for the kid chasing it. I simply stop. When the kid comes out looking at me I wave him and let him get the ball. I got that from my father. He told me if I ever saw a ball fly out on the street to make damned sure I looked for the kid chasing it. I do one better. I simply stop.

Anyway, I was driving through a nearby neighborhood and slowed down to about a half knot and went through a stop sign and as luck would have it, out of the nearby lawn came Goober F***ing Pyle screaming 'Citizen's arrest!' at me that I didn't stop and wait five seconds. 

Instead of shining him or ignoring him I stopped and rolled down the window.

He came up and babbled that I had not stopped completely at the stop sign. I told him that I hadn't stopped because I had not been drinking. He looked stunned.

"The only people that stop completely at stop signs are drunks," I said. "They are afraid of being stopped."

"Yeah, but we got kids around here!" he snapped. Wrong move.

"Judging by the looks of you," I shot back. "Your youngest is 32 and lives in Mankato, Minnesota. What's your vested interest?"

''The neighbor's kids," he answered.

"Can't slight that," I replied. "I'm a reasonable man. But were you paying attention?"

"I saw you fail to come to a complete stop at the sign," he said indignantly.

"True enough, but did you notice that I was driving well under the speed limit? Did you notice my head swiveling around looking to see who was in the front yards? Did you bother to note that?" I asked. "Well, did you?"

"All I saw..." he started.

"That's all you saw," I interrupted. "The next time I come through I'll stop twice." 

"Ever notice that drunk drivers stay focused on the road and make sure they stay in the middle of the lane and stop carefully at stop signs? They don't  want to get stopped. On the other hand they are so focused to the road that they are not looking out for kids, cats and dogs and are a hell of a lot more dangerous than a situationally aware person that is a little sloppy about little things like your dopey stop sign?" I added. "Drunk drivers stop completely at stop signs."

I started to drive off but thought better of it. I recognized the car in his driveway.

"The next time you speed past my house at 7:25 am on your way to work like you do every day you are going to be late for work because you have to change a tire. I am going to throw a rake out in front of you and cut your tires," I said. 

That got his attention.

With that I drove off.

I hate two faced people that demand things from people and won't return the courtesy.

************************

Aftermath:

A day or two later I woke up a little past seven and took my morning coffee in the driveway while holding a steel rake. I guess he spotted me and slowed right down.

I was actually surprised to see him do this. Maybe he spotted me but I do not think he knew where I live before that.

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This happened to me yet again at a stop sign in basically the same area. I shined the guy on because I didn't have time to argue with him. I'm just going to take the longer route home now because this seems to be something that is happening in my general area.

Little things like this become a fad of some sort but don't really last too long. As usual the name of the game is in MY neighborhood you behave a certain way which would be fine if those same people behaved the same way in someone else's neighborhood.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I saw on Facebook where a small town police department was trying to make things palatable for the locals.

One of the officers had his picture taken with some sort of Bazooka aiming it at a passing car and the caption said they'd be patrolling such and such an area. I thought it was pretty funny, actually and so did a lot of other people but as usual the crybabies moaned and bellyached and I think they had to take the picture off of Facebook.

Sometimes I think the police SHOULD take a Bazooka to the crybabies because they just seem to make the world a less colorful and fun place to be.

I am getting old now and that sometimes makes me think it is a good thing because with any luck I won't see the collapse of the entire country.













To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY