Here. Here's a pistol for you. It's loaded. Take it somewhere quiet and do the right thing.

I actually did that to someone once. I handed them a pistol, told them it was loaded and to take it somewhere quiet and do the right thing.

Actually the pistol was unloaded because if they did decide to do the right thing it would have made quite a mess and I didn't want some poor bastard to have to clean it up. 

Besides there is always some idiot that will say something like "It's not a real gun." as they point it at you and pull the trigger.

The world is what it is and there are a number of people out there that have made their careers being a pain in the asses of every else and we would simply be better off without them.




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Ah, yes. A sham shielder strikes again.

Leave it to a Sp/4 to be the guy to designate the smoking areas.

One fine member of the Sp/4 Mafia decided to appoint himself as the smoking area designatior It was a rather simple thing for him to do, really. He just got a small 'designated smoking area' sign and carried it with him.

Any time he wanted to light up he would simply post the sign and have a cigarette. When he was finished he would put the sign away and take it with him.

Needless to say, people would see him smoking, notice the sign and light up. There would be a group of smokers standing around long after the Sp/4 had quietly taken the sign and left.

One day the battalion commander saw the Sp/4 smoking, noticed the sign and sat down to enjoy a cigar. When the Sp/4 had finished his smoke he left. Of course he was carrying the sign which he had discreetly stuffed under his shirt.

A few minutes later the Regimental CO happened on by and saw one of his BnCOs puffing away and promptly gave him holy hell leaving the hapless officer stammering and stuttering that there had been a sign there a minute ago.




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It's Turkey Day and I am in a fleabag somewhere

waiting to go to the airport.

I could have flown out yesterday but the day before Thanksgiving is the always a total zoo. I hate traveling then and it is a lot wiser to simply put the travel off for a day and miss the holiday. 

Sometimes it is so slow you can play cribbage with a bored attendant. 

I admit that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday but I have to have in on my terms. I don't want to come rolling in three minutes before dinner, eat and leave. 

I like at least getting there the day before and waking up to a cup of coffee with a splash of cognac in in and helping out with the dinner all the while clad in a Thanksgiving outfit consisting of sweats and a T-shirt. There's more to it than a turkey dinner. 

It's a time of home, hearth and family and all that good stuff.

Yet this morning I am in a fleabag somewhere using that dopey little coffee maker to make a cup of Joe at 0300 because I can't sleep.


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Hey, smart ass. The next time you say "OK, Boomer" to me

I am going to withhold your participation trophies AND leave you a car with a manual transmission with the directions on how to drive it written in cursive.


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I miss the smell of an Old School waterfront gin mill.

Cigarette smoke, stale beer with just a tinge of urine in a dark, dingy atmosphere.

Now waterfront bars are bright, cheery smoke and odor free places and they suck.

They don't make 'em like they used to.



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I just read where plumbers call the day after Thanksgiving

Brown Friday because of all of the calls they get on that day.

I never thought about it but I can certainly see why.


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I have little time on my hands until after Thanksgiving.

Sorry about that, Chief.


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I think the real reason the Democrats want to see us disarmed is

because they don't think they are capable of governing an armed population.

In spite of the fact that every single private in a platoon is armed, most lieutenants could lead their people. It's too bad the Democrats running for political office can't do what an ordinary fresh out of school lieutenant can.

It's sad.


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Someone asked me when I found out Santa wasn't real.

I answered, "I dunno. Maybe 32, 33 or somethin' like that."

They turned their head and looked at me wide-eyed for a second and then scowled. It isn't the first time I have done something like this to him and likely won't be the last. 

How the hell am I supposed to know? It was about 60 years ago.





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I ran into someone about 30 that STILL thinks that if Trump is

impeached and removed from off ice then Hillary gets sworn in.

I swear they don't educate people in our schools anymore. Not even a little bit.

It's ridiculous that a person can get through high school without knowing the basic mechanics of government. 

I told him that Mike Pence would be sworn in if Trump gets the boot and he ought to look up Pence's views on s lot of things he holds near and dear.

Pence is more to the right than Trump is. For someone like that losing Trump would be like going from the frying pan and into the fire.




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Someone aske me what I plan on doing when I retire.

I think I'll get a part time job gathering shopping carts at a supermarket or maybe Target or Wally World. I could probably use the exercise.

I will also find time to work with amputees at the local VA hospital. I seem to do well with them because I don't forget that they are still one of the guys. Just because someone lost a couple of legs doesn't mean he's not one of the guys.

I get along with old people too for the same reason.

What we do to our elders is often a disgrace. A guy may be 107 years old but somewhere along the line people seem to kick him out of the Official He Man Woman Haters Club and treat him like a little kid. It's just plain wrong.

I don't treat them that way and generally get along pretty well with them.

A few years back I got hurt and took therapy with an old WW2 paratrooper and really busted his chops. He's do his reps and I'd make him do an extra "One for the Airborne" and listen to him bitch and moan.

He accused me of being a Goddamned sergeant and I told him I was. 

He griped to me that when he was a private it was sergeants that made his life miserable and later when he commissioned to lieutenant and was given a platoon his company commander told him to listen to his platoon sergeant. He said he could never get away from them and now he was an old man and still had to put up with them. He was hilarious.

Apparently I had done something right because the therapy people asked me to change my schedule to his because I got him worked up enough to actually do all his reps correctly. We kind of became a team.





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Can any of you readers drum me up an old say, 1983 copy of Playboy?

If any of you guys remember this post
You will know what I am up to.

If I pull that line on someone again I want an old copy of Playboy to show them what I used to look like after the surgery I didn't have.

"Was that really you?"

"Absolutely!"



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Where does electricity come from?

Don't tell me. Let me guess. It comes from those plugs in the wall, right? It's magic, right?

I hear a lot about electric cars and how wonderful they are because they do not pollute but few people realize they actually run on coal for the most part.

That's because electricity is not magic that comes from plugs in the wall. It comes from electrical generating plants most of which run on coal.

I get tired of people that want to put us in electrically powered vehicles yet don't want to allow the erection of the additional power plants required to supply the juice to run the cars they want everyone to drive.

You can't have both. You either have to allow more power plants to be built or we have to continue to run cars on gasoline or diesel.

Pick one.

Another thing. They are going to have to come up with the technology to allow a car to run about 400 miles or more and then recharge in about ten minutes before electrical vehicles will be useful for anything but local hops. It is either that or you are going to see a lot of electrical cars making long trips with Honda generators tied to their roof racks banging away.




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This works with cokes, beers and just about anything in a can

So you have a case of beer, sodie-pop, whatever and you have to add some more warm ones to the refrigerator so you don't run out of a cold beverage.

Right now I'm running a case of Coke Zero through the mill.

Anyway, you have some in the fridge that are cold and you want to add warm ones and be able to know which ones are cold.

Look in the fridge. If all the cold ones are not all right side up make them that way.

Add the warm ones upside down and use the right side up ones first.

Later when you run out of cold ones the warm ones should be cold. 

Simply add the new warm cans right side up.

Rinse, repeat.

Works for this tired old sailor.





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Anyone care for a nice, refreshing glass of meatballs?

One day at work my shipmate cooked up a HUGE pot of meatballs. He did this planning ahead. We had a busy period coming up and this meant a few quick meals. We could do spaghetti and make sandwiches on the run. All in all, it was really a pretty good idea.

Of course, after the meal it was my job to clean up and I quickly discovered we didn't have a container big enough to hold the almost entire pot of leftover meatballs.

At sea we improvise. We do what we have to do. I promptly dumped the entire pot into a plastic pitcher that sealed up and put it in the refrigerator.

Needless to say I'm getting a pretty good natured drubbing over the entire thing. My shipmates are teasing me over it, offering me a nice refreshing glass of meatballs and suggesting that I wash down breakfast with them.

"How about a couple of over easy eggs, some ham and spuds and the wash it down with a glass of meatballs?" I was asked this morning.

Now nobody holds this against me because they do admit I had no real choice save to fill several Tupperware containers.

Still, it is something out here to have some fun with.






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Life gets in the way of a lot of things.

And that's the way it is.


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Another busy day

This will likely be the case until Thanksgiving.

Sorry about that, Chief.



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I have been busy as hell with things lately.

Yesterday one of the younger guys was talking about strip clubs. I told him I hated them because I worked in one once.

"Bartender or bouncer?" he asked.

I put on my cheerful, honest casual voice and replied, "Dancer. That was before I transgendered back in '86."

I thought the kid was going to $hit himself.




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Yesterday I turned 68.

Happy birthday to me.

I spent it busting my ass all day long and dinner was a ham sandwich.


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Veterans day

Actually Armistice day.

• On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11day month of 1918 the fighting stopped in Europe.

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One of the things that travelers often forgets before making a phone call

is the difference in time zones.

I came close to waking someone up in the middle of the night. However I caught myself just before I hit 'send'.



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The other day I said, "Excuse me, young lady." I was being polite.

and got a belligerent "Did you just assume my gender?"in return.

"Yeah, I did," I shot back. "There's a vagina* in those pants. If there isn't then unzip your fly, whip it out and prove me wrong!"

There wasn't really much she could say after that.




*not the word I used.


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I have been very busy lately and it looks like posts for the next three weeks will be sporadic.

Sorry about that but things are busy. I have an inordinate amount of things to do.

Someone asked me what I was going to do when I retire and it's a decent question to ask.

Probably get a few hours part time somewhere to stay busy. The other thing I am going to do is to see if I can spend some time with GIs that have are amputees. For some reason I seem to get along with a lot of them simply because I don't dodder all over them.

Most people are uncomfortable around them. Look at how people in an elevator clam up when a wheelchair bound person rolls in. They don't know what to say.

I just treat him or her with a good word, the same way I do everyone else and am generally treated to an appreciative smile.

An amputee is just like everyone else. Most of them just want to remain useful.








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Busy today

and maybe for a few days after that.


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Halloween AAR. (After action report)

I haven't changed a bit.

Yesterday someone asked me what I did for Halloween. I casually replied "The usual. Candy for the kids, hot buttered rum for the parents and dope brownies for the teenagers."

Of course she took the bait and went through the roof and said I should be in jail.

'I almost was last year. Some idiot sixteen year old thought it was funny to feed four of them to his six year old brother. I ain't never seen even an adult eat that much pot before! It was funny watching the little kid trip his brains out but his mother didn't think so. I had too flush three pans of brownies down the toilet to keep from getting busted! I almost went to jail over that! Can you imagine?! Over some crummy dope brownies!"

''What? What? Giving marijuana to children?" much wheezing and panic.

"Hey, It's a LOT cheaper than cocaine! You never see my house getting plastered with paint, eggs and toilet paper, do you?"I countered. 

It never occurred to her that we have not had Halloween vandalism on the street in years. 

"You give the kids drugs to keep them from vandalizing your property?" she asked. then she looked thoughtful. "We never have any vandalism."

"What do you do? Give out acid?" I asked.

More panic. "No we don't give out drugs!!"

Another neighbor that was out raking leaves had heard the whole exchange. "Billy (her son) says he's got the best

 pot in town!" adding another gallon of gasoline to the fire.

  Suddenly she finally figured it out and turned plum purple. She looked at the two of us. "You assholes!" she shouted and stormed off.  

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well, tomorrow we fall back

Don't forget to change your clocks back.

Daylight Savings Time ends Sunday at 0200.



It is now Saturday morning and the DX clusters are really moving. It happens when the weekenders get on the air.

I just saw Djibouti up and running on 17 meters but I an't got the shot. It would be an ATNO (All Time New One) for me, too, dammit!


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Last night Halloween got pushed back until Saturday night

on account of rain.

Actually it's a shame it wasn't cancelled altogether because I had other plans for the hot buttered rum fixings that didn't get used last night.

I was considering using the leftovers to throw a party with. It would have been a nice outdoor event and be called the First Annual Greta Thunberg Tire Fire.

It would have provided a good opportunity to get rid of those leftover snow tires from the car you sold three years ago.

The neighbors could have gotten together, gotten rid of their old tires and enjoyed a greasy cloud of vile chemical smelling black smoke rising into the air.

Oh, well.

I guess I'll just have to save the tires for Earth Day.....



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