I once got a time out on the neighborhood website for cannibalism.

What? Cannibalism?

Yes. Cannibalism. That's eating what is commonly called long pork. It means eating your fellow man. I didn't actually hack someone up and eat them. I simply suggested it. With all the COVID going around it could save someone a trip to the store.

On one of those neighborhood websites a somewhat frightened woman complained that someone was standing on her porch for a while. Of course the fastest and easiest thing to do is call the police and watch the fun as they explain to Ossifer Friendly what they were doing.

Of course, someone suggested answering the door with a shotgun.

I replied that a shotgun is very gauche and that he proper tool to answer the door with is a kukri because nothing says not only but am I going to kill you but I am going to hack you up and toss you into the family stew pot.

Some lady screeched that it was cannibalism and got worked up. 

I told her I had a large family to feed and she flipped. She said the police ought to dig up my back yard and check for human remains.

I told her I wish they would because it was time for me to plant my annual dope plants and it would save a lot of work. I also said that when you have 19 children you let the kids grow the dope so they can sell it to their classmates and make some pocket money.

She got huffy and asked how I had 19 kids.

"When you were a little girl didn't your mother ever have a little talk with you and tell you where babies come from?" I shot back.

Reported. Time out.

Cause: Cannibalism.



To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY