Another bar story.

I was pretty close to broke and had nothing to do one day and was feeling kind of bored. I decided that I really didn't feel lie doing a lot and decided to get a little toasted.

I mulled over a few ideas and decided to simply start a small party at my bar-room headquarters at the time. I figured on setting a small trap of some sort that would be triggered by human nature. I didn't know what yet, but figured something would come up.

I started walking down towards the bar and one of my pards stopped alongside and told me he had caught a couple of halibut earlier that morning and offered me a chunk. I accepted and hopped into his pickup and we went to my digs where I took the fish and instantly iced it for dinner.

While we were cutting the fish up I had a brainstorm and carved the eye out and wrapped it in a piece of paper. I told my pal to swing by the bar later on and see what I was up to.

We left and he dropped me off. I entered and promptly put the nasty old eyeball into the coin return of the pay phone located just inside the main door, went to the men's room, washed my hands and sat down at the bar.

I ordered a Vitiman R and told the barkeep what I had done. He scowled.

"It'll start a party," I said.

He scowled. "You a$$hole," he said. Then he looked thoughtfully. "You're probably right. The town seems bored enough. Broke, too."

"There's always money for beer," I said.

I had been sitting there about fifteen minutes when Blaine walked in. "Whaz happenin',Pic?" he asked.

"I just put a halibut eye in the coin return of the pay phone and someone's gonna see if there's a quarter in it and get a finger full," I replied.

Blaine instantly sat down next to me and ordered a beer. He hooked his thumb toward me. "And get him one," he said.

We sat there keeping an eye on everyone that came in and along came Steve. "Whaz happenin', guys?" he asked.

"Pic put a halibut eye in the pay phone coin return slot and we're waiting to see who gets a finger full of nasty old halibut eye,"said Blaine.

Steve sat down, ordered a beer, hooked his thumb toward us and said, "And get them one."

Along came Jim who sat down next to us, got briefed and ordered a beer. "And get them one," he added.

As people trickled in they saw the crowd and stayed.

The unspoken rule is that the guy that started the party drank for free which meant I wound up sitting there all afternoon drinking beer for nothing as I had been the guy that started the party.

It was about 3 or 4 in the afternoon and nobody was paying a whole lot of attention to the phone anymore when we heard a cry of angry outrage and looked up. Sure enough Red Mallory had stuck his finger in the coin return and got a fingerful of halibut eye. The entire place burst into applause for a few seconds and the party kept on keepin' on.

I was a lot younger and tougher then and it was about 945 pm when I left the joint pretty toasted. I left then just in tie to catch the last ferry to Dog Bay, got home and cooked up part of the halibut, ate it and sacked out.

The rest I had for breakfast.

I had partied all day in the bar for a total cost of about $2 and in the process Steve paid me back $20 I had loaned him. I had partied all day and woke up richer than I had before I started.

Not a bad investment for $2 and a rotten nasty old halibut eyeball.

The next day I wandered through at opening time looking to see what was going on. I was looking for Blaine.

"Have a coffee on me," said the bartender, holding up a cup and a bottle of cognac. "We had a pretty good day yesterday for such a dead time in town."

I sat down and had a coffee with Couviosier in it. I was a little rough from the day before and it helped. A couple of hours later I was back at it hauling shingles up onto a roof I would start in on the following morning, sweating the toxins out. 

I actually felt pretty good.




To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY