It was one day in March

 in Kodiak that I was sitting in a bar at about 8 am waking up to a cup of morning coffee.

This is actually not as bad as it sounds for a couple of reasons. Bars served as a lot more than watering holes. They were meeting places, message centers and several other things. A bar that was just a bar didn't generally do very well.

I was there that morning looking for something to do. It was often a hiring hall of sorts for people looking for odd jobs. On the rare times I had nothing to do I'd drop in the bar early on and more often than not I'd get grabbed for a job of sorts.

The day was Seward's Day. It's an Alaska holiday celebrated in March. It's not to be mistaken for Alaska Day which is in October.

Seward's Day is the day Seward made the Alaska purchase. Alaska Day is the day the United States took formal posession of the new territory.

I was sitting across the bar from an ignoramus named Elrod. He was basically a self appointed big shot. To his credit he was a pretty good equipment operator and had seniority. This meant he generally worked almost year-round. Hence, he had a pretty good income.

On the debit side he was self-important, arrogant, egotistical, bigoted and thoughtless. He was ignorant as hell and would get angry if proven wrong over just about anything.

He wasn't violent, but his little snits were a real horror show to be around. I generally avoided getting him upset.

In short this guy was an asshole.

We were discussing Seward's Day, a statewide holiday. It is the day Seward purchased Alaska from the Russians.

Elrod said that it was the day Seward discovered Alaska.

I commented that Seward didn't discover Alaska because there were already people there before.

"Just a bunch of ignorant savages," he replied.

At the time the word 'savage' was often used as a racial slur when referring to native Alaskans. Tlinkets, Aleuts, Athabaskans and Eskimos, all native Alaskans took offense to being called savages.

The Aleut next to me was doing a slow burn. I suppose if he had a few drinks in him there might have been a row of some sort.

I turned to him, grinned and winked. He gave me a look of confusion and curiosity.

"Hey Elrod! They ought to make April 29th Piccolo Day," I said.

"Who the hell is Piccolo?" he asked in an irritated tone of voice.

"Me. I discovered Alaska on April 29, 1978," I replied.

"I was here over twenty years before you got here!" he answered back indignantly.

"Yeah, but when I got here, all I found was a bunch of ignorant savages!" I answered, dryly.

Two people snarfed, the owner of the joint turned red and surpressed a smirk. The Aleut laughed outright and the bar braced for the horror show they figured was coming. They were surprised.

Elrod  simply got up and left in a big, angry huff. There was a confused, sudden silence.

The Aleut broke the silence. "Give that white man a drink!" he said. The bartender, half Aleut, came by and poured about an inch of Bailey's into my coffee.

In seconds every native in the joint found out what I had said and I was faced with a number of beers stacked up in front of me. 

"Looks like I know what I'm doing today," I said to the bartender. "Put these on ice. I'm going to be here a while."

Thank God I had nothing planned for that day because it took me a long time to even put a dent in the drinks I had been bought. The bartender ended up giving me token chips after I decided I had enough to drink to make sure I got them all.

Someone even bought me lunch to keep me going!

It was late afterrnoon when I had to stop and go m
home and sleep it off.

For the rest of the time I lived in Kodiak I seldom had problems with any of the natives.



To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY