It is similar to this:
I was in kind of a go to hell mood which is why I went to the mall in the first place.
It got a lot of grins, several compliments and a couple people asked me where I got it.
I actually made it out of a $2 hat I saw at Goodwill.
Of course, (as usual) there was someone that didn't like it and gave me a bunch of crap about it being offensive to Native Americans. It was some kind of a hippie couple.
What was interesting is that a Native American told me he was a Native American and asked me where I had gotten the hat about a half-hour before I met the hippies. He wanted one and we had a chuckle about it. He said it would be a good hat to get drunk in.
Anyway, the hippie started in and I didn't let them get very far.
I pointed out that I was a native American with an Irish heritage and that was a bad combination when alcohol entered the equation.
(Not really a lie. I am a native American. I was born here. A Native American (capitalized) is someone with a heritage that goes back to before the white man settled. One capital letter makes the difference.)
I suggested that he meet me in the Sears tool department in a couple of minutes so I could run over to the bar and have a few quick snorts. Then we could get a pair of Sears roofing hatchets to serve as tomahawks and settle our differences outside. I assured him there would be lots and lots of blood on the parking lot.
Of course, he begged off.
"Too bad," I replied. "It could have been a first."
"What would be a first," asked the hippie chick that was with the guy.
"For the first time in the history of the motion picture industry the United States cavalry would have been too late to save his sorry ass," I replied.
I heard a snort from behind the counter of the kiosk we were standing next to. The clerk was a tall, very athletic looking black guy. He spoke up.
"You don't want to be messing around with and old guy like that," he said. "He'll hack you up with a tomahawk and walk off laughing. I wouldn't go near him myself. Especially if he's been drinking."
The hippie couple left rather quickly and the clerk turned to me.
"Where did you get the hat?" he asked.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
In other news, I weighed myself in the morning after I got home and I was about 3 pounds heavier than I was when I left.
I had the obligatory couple of drinks to get my sleep rhythms back to normal but decided no alcohol until I lost the three pounds.
It took about four days and although I suppose I could have a few I think I'll refrain until next weekend. My body chemistry is changing as I age. It's harder to keep my weight down and I suppose i should forego the empty calories.
I might have a couple this weekend, though. We'll see.
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY
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