My winter beard really ages me to begin with so it wasn't too difficult to add to it. I put on a somewhat drab looking pair of ill fitting pants, a brown shirt, a faded necktie and a beat up brown tweed sports jacket. The I topped it off with an old brown fedora.
Then I hunched over a bit and presto! Instant late octagenarian!
The guy I went to the gun show is a policeman and he took one look at me and said that if someone tried to mug me and wound up in the hospital than he'd bust me for hunting over bait.
It was pretty interesting beig about 85 years old ad there were two types of people I ran into. Most were pretty polite and treated me with courtesy. A small handful were rude to me and I learned a lot about the indignities of old age. All in all it was an interesting experience.
A couple of people made me.
I saw a guy a couple years older then me with a Vietnam veteran hat and asked him what year he had been in country. He told me he was there in '66. I was in high school at the time but didn't tell him. I nodded.
He looked carefully at me. A confused look came over him and he said to me "Bet you were still in high school back in '66. That beard and those clothes make you look a lot older."
"One of the kids called me an old guy so I'm havin' a little fun," I replied. "He wants an old man so I'll give him one!"
He laughed. "Well, the beard and the outfit sure aged you 20 years," he replied. "You did that right!"
A while later I was looking at something, an old top-break revolver and some guy in his late 20s plowed into me because he wasn't paying attention. He didn't bother apologizing and just gave me an annoyed look.
His girlfriend looked angry with him for his lack of manners and said something to him about it. When she was finished with him and his back was still toward me I looked at her, tipped my hat back, stood up straight, gave her a sly wink, pulled my hat back down and hunched back over . I saw her surpressing a smirk.
"That old man could probably give you a good licking," I heard her tell her boyfriend as I quietly shuffled off.
A few minutes later I ran into a guy I know from Camp Perry. He didn't recognize me at first and when he did it was because I spoke to him. My voice is probably the most recognizable part of me.
He asked me why I looked so old and I told him about the kids and that it was actually kind of fun going out in disguise. He grinned and shook his head. "I didn't recognize you," he said.
I had some fun with one of the vendors. She was a really sharp woman in her late twenties, quite attractive and really quite charming. She looked like a woman that could easily handle my bull$hit and would challenge me a bit mentally.
I looked at her seriously. "I was thinking of asking you to marry me," I said. "But maybe that's not a good idea."
She was completely unruffled. "Oh? Why is that?" she asked.
"Because if you refused my feelings would be hurt," I replied. "If you accepted it would be proof positive you were completely crazy and I'd have to call the wedding off because I want nothing whatsoever to do with a crazy lady."
She grinned broadly and I knew I had made her day. Then she about floored me with her reply.
"Groucho Marx," she said. "You stole that line from Groucho Marx."
My face lit up. I was impressed. In general women hate the Three Stooges and Groucho Marx.
I knew then and there that this was a young woman that liked men, liked being around them and enjoyed their company. It's actually pretty rare. It is actually the product of a woman that was raised with a very strong male influence in her life.
"That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard," I answered and she laughed. We chatted for a couple minutes and then I left. We had both made each other's day and we both knew it.
My friend and I wandered about, I bought nothing, he bought a couple of inexpensive items and when we had made the rounds we left back to my place for a spaghetti dinner. We were joined for dinner by my brother in law.
All in all it was an interesting day. I got to see life the way it is going to likely wind up if I last that long.
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY
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