One of the things they do at the hospital is

cart you to the door in a wheelchair no matter what.

It is stupid and the last time I got busted up they tried to do it to me with a remarkable lack of success.

I had a busted foot and they put me in a walking cast. I knew I had to get used to it so I simply wanted to walk on it to get comfortable with it. Of course they thought that was definitely out of the question. 

Someone approached me with a wheelchair and I politely refused. He insisted. I flat out refused. He said it was a rule and I shot back that I was a f***ing criminal and the rules didn't apply to me.

"But...but...but," he said.

"Bugger off!" I shot back and started to stump off towrds the door.

I suppose it was a funny sight, me stumping down the hall with a frustrated orderly of some sort pushing a wheel chair next to me.

We got a few feet before a Big Nurse type came charging in. She started in on how I was supposed to take the wheelchair because it was a rule.

"Big Nurse, My name is Randall P. McMurphy. I am a desperate criminal and your chicken$hit rules do not aply to me. Now let me walk out that damned door," I shot back.

A security guard hid a smirk. He looked plainly amused. He seemed know how I felt. The nurse looked at him like he was supposed to actually do something. I looked at the cop.

"You can't put me in da joint," I said. "I just got outta da joint!"

The guard laughed outright and looked at th nurse. "Give him a break. The man want's to walk. He's making no trouble.  What's the problem?"

I swear that if some psychiatric doctor had happened by the pair of them would have been sent off to a rubber room somewhere.

Two people in hospital uniforms babbling incoherently at some scruffy looking character in a walking cast walking off with a big look of disgust on his face.

The again, maybe he would have thought all three of us belonged in the booby hatch.

Then again, maybe the psychiarist would have joined the pair of them. Most of them seem to be worse than their patients.



To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY