I woke up to an email telling my grandson was in jail in Las Vegas for a drunk driving accident and for $5000 the emailer can get him out of jail.
I carefully explained to him that it was impossible because my grandson was in Walla Walla, Washington State Prison for murdering a scammer that tried to cheat his grandfather.
I then explained that had he been slick enough to cover the scammer's grave with endangered plants he likely would have gotten away with it because then it would have been illegal to dig him up.
Damned kids never pay attention.
I also went out to find a piece of pipe for my wife to slip over a lug wrench in case she gets a flat tire. I brought the lug wrench with me to test fit the pipe on.
In Lowe's someone asked me why I was carrying a lug wrench. I told them I was carrying it to make them ask nosy questions which would distract him so I could pick his pockets. He got uncomfortable and walked away.
Later one of the clerks I see regularly told me the guy had reported me. The clerk said he had one hell of a hard time keeping a straight face.
That's a pretty good start to a day if you ask me.
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