Driver's license renewal is coming up and it's time to start to stop shaving

so I can get my picture taken looking like Charles Manson.

My sisters, who do a similar thing, call renewal 'dress like a whore day'.This is because while neither of them wear more than a smudge of makeup they get their driver's license picture taken looking like a couple of whores.

This started back in the day when I was fishing in Alaska and renewed after a small bender following a fishing trip. I looked terrible but gave it no thought. 

Several months later on a visit home my sis asked me what an Alaska driver's license looked like and told me my picture made me look like a hatchet murderer. I laughed and suggested she get hers taken looking like a whore.

She actually did and the other sister decided to do likewise and a family tradition was born. As the nieces and nephews came along and grew up they would shout "Driver's license time" at Thanksgiving dinner and judge them.

I generally took top honors in the hatchet murder category.

It was also funny hearing a niece say something like, "Gee, Aunt Gloria, you look like a real slut in this one!" 

 Of course, Gloria would beam proudly.

"Hey, Mom, you sure look like a tramp in this one!" would draw something like, "Thank you, Son!"

My niece once said to me, "Uncle Pic! You look like you just hacked up a whole troop of Girl Scouts with a chain saw! Great picture!"

Anyway, the girls have it made because they can just pile on the makeup. I have to work at it and do stuff like stop shaving and the night before stay up all night drinking expresso to get my eyes to glaze over for that wild-eyed look.

Over the years I have been stopped by the police and had a couple of cops comment on the picture. When I explain to them what we do they just laugh and shake their heads.

I once had a cop tell me that the true test of a pretty girl is one that actually looks pretty on her DL photo. I had to agree with him. Driver's license photos are generally pretty lousy.

Anyway, it's that time again and I am going to continue to keep first place in the hatchet murderer category. Personally I don't give a damn but it does entertain the nieces and nephews so why not.


To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY