Sunday, September 21, 2014

One guy keeps asking me to post my stripper stories

and I guess I will just to get him off my back. It’s really not too big of a deal.


I did maintenance work for a club when I was in my early thirties. A lot of what I did was repaint the men’s room and replace the toilet every time some alcohol and testosterone fueled fisherman pulled it off of the floor. That and keep the stage and other things in repair.


Incidentally it is not all that hard to pull a toilet off of its moorings. There’s a trick to it. They’re not fastened to the floor too strongly. You twist it first to break the moorings and then lift it up.


The biggest part of the odd jobs I did were not done at the club but at the pair of apartments the manager rented for the girls, most of whom were from Washington and Oregon.


I was a doorman briefly but didn’t like it very much. I am not big and imposing enough and not mean enough for the job. I begged off after a couple of weeks.


My favorite incident was when some big guy came in and simply pushed me out of the way. I looked at the barkeep who simply shrugged and called the police who arrived and carted him off for the evening and gave him a place to cool down.


What I did do a couple of times when someone looked like they were getting ready to start trouble is get one of the girls and go outside and smoke some pot with him. Then she would agree to meet him at the ginmill next door. There was a bartender there that liked to fight.


It was generally a winning deal for everyone. I got rid of a headache. The girl got stoned on company time. The bartender next door got to punch someone silly and the guy that was looking for trouble found what he was looking for. Everybody won.


People don’t know it, but lighting is terribly important in strip clubs because a lot of the women that work there are not world-class beauties to begin with. A lot of them have a lot to hide.


Some of them looked pretty beaten up.


The yellow tones tend to hide a lot of bruises and other things and in general highlight the makeup and reflect well off of their scant costumes. You can take a pretty beaten up looking woman and hide an awful lot through lighting.


Incidentally I’ll have to say that makeup can do wonders. For a while the manager had a ‘house mother’ for the girls and oddly enough it was someone in the process of being transgendered.


She was extremely talented with makeup and while she was there she made up most of the girls before work. I have to say she could truly work wonders. While she was there the girls looked 100% better.


I suppose people might find that odd but when you think about it, this make sense. She had spent a lot of time studying up on becoming a woman. The strippers were born female. The ‘house mom’ had to study up on it. Actually she was a pretty interesting person to talk to.


The stories of the single moms supporting a kid and the college student saving for school are not really all that common. Truth is a lot of the women working there are there because they don’t have a whole lot of education and smarts to begin with. The money’s generally pretty good and drugs are fairly easy to score.


The real moneymakers at a strip club are the owners who get to sell their drinks at inflated prices and the drug dealers that keep the girl’s habits fed. The strippers were paid peanuts as contract entertainers. They made their money in tips.


There are exceptions, of course. I’ve mentioned them in previous posts. However, the average stripper I met really wasn’t too bright and had a tendency toward the drug and alcohol lifestyle.


I’ve seen them fight over stupid stuff like which girl ‘owns’ which song and bickering over customers. I managed to stay out of that, thank God.


The part that amazed me is the amount of damage the girls could do to their living quarters. A 115 pound little girl properly coked up can tear a door of its hinges.


A lot of them were slobs and had little in the way of domestic skills. They could plug up a kitchen sink in a heartbeat or plug up a toilet by using it as a wastebasket.


A few of them were neat and clean but an awful lot of them were real slobs. Generally the neater ones lived in one apartment and the slobs in the other.


Guess which one required the most maintenance?


Many of these girls didn’t seem to really have the basic life skills to take care of a home and/or raise a family.


The truth is that there is nothing really exciting, glamorous or even interesting about working for a strip club. Actually it’s sad.
It wasn't one of my favorite gigs.









To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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