Every now and then I buy the wife an inexpensive floral arrangement just to express appreciation for what she does for me when I am at sea.
A large percentage of men just naturally assume that I'm buying flowers simply because I'm in hot water of some sort and asks me what I did wrong. I have never met as many nosy people as I have in Pittsburgh. Why I am buying flowers is nobody's business.
Anyway here are a few answers I have dished out over the years.
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"I lost her wedding ring in a crap game."
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"I gotta tell her she has too get checked for the clap. "
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"I knocked up the baby sitter."
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"I knocked up her kid sister."
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"She found out about what went on at the bachelor party last weekend. I'm also going to smash a certain someone's cellphone camera."
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"I accidentally flushed her wedding ring down the toilet."
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"She found out her worthless son joined the Navy because I talked him into it."
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"She found out I was a judge at a wet T-shirt contest at the Hemlock Manor rest home."
"That's not too awful bad," he replied.
"Unless she found out you were the guy that was feeling around to make sure none of the contestants had gotten a boob job."
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To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this:
http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY
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