It's Halloween and someone said that it's OK for teenagers to trick or treat.

I pointed out that I quit trick or treating a couple of years ago because the quality of the booze I was getting on Halloween dropped off.

That one drew a number of confused questions.

Sarcasm is like getting food at a communist run grocery store. Some people get it, some don't.

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Stop means stop

Don't you just love it when you get an annoying text and it says "to stop send stop".

So you send stop and ten minutes later you get another text telling you thay have stopped texting you.

That one is more annoying than the original text.

FWIW I don't care WHO it is, if you're not on my list of good little girls and boys I don't want you to text me.

=============================

Hmmm...Someone suggested that if Jasmine Crockett removed her wig and eyelashes we would find Hakeem Jeffries.

They may very well be right! The onlly way we can recognize him is by his sombrero!

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GI potty mouth.

That brings back a memory when I was a little more social.

I don't recall how the party conversation started but some nerdy little wimp said something about GI profanity.

I went off like a skyrocket and went off on one hell of a rant.

You complain when some flyboy paints a busty babe picture on the nose of his airplane or writes 'f***' on it because you say it's obscene. F*** that $hit. That's nowhere near obscene. What you have those people do is obscene. You take the nice, wholesome all-American  kid that was your nice wholesome clean cut paperboy and turn him into a savage and teach him how to stick a bayonet in someone's guts or shoot him in the face. You order people to take machines out to flatten a city and kill, injure and displace the occupants. THAT'S obscene. 

After it's over you expect to have him come home and still be the nice clean cut wholesome kid you shipped out. You're shocked when he's not. 

Yet you sit here in your safe little home in suburbia and insult the very people that enable you to live here in relative safety. 

If you want to clean up the language of the American GI than I seriously suggest you put on a uniform, pick up a rifle and stand a post and set a good example. Most likely after a few weeks YOU'LL turn into a trash tongue. If won't stand a post then shut the f*** up!

Crickets. Stopped that party cold.

With that I walked out. On the way out I said, "Enjoy your little party and your SUBURBAN SAFETY."

Later a number of people I ran into quietly told me I was spot on.

One of them later grinned at me and said "Temper, temper." She was one of the good guys.

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I saw part of a Mandami rally the other day

They were chanting "Tax the rich! Tax the rich!"

I would imagine that any New Yorker with more than two bucks in their pocket is planning on leaving the city after the election. I sure would. I'd be out of there like a shot.

Tax the rich schemes never seem to work out very well because them dirty rotten rich people up and move.

I have also heard Mandami talking about imposing taxes based on minority status. Whites would pay more. That won't see the light of day. It'll be thrown out in federal court as it should be. In fact it won't be mentioned again because of that.

Norway tried a tax the rich scheme and instantly tax revenues dropped. The rich took their money elsewhere. 

A lot of people don't even know what the rich are. They seem to think that they are people with huge vaults full of cask like Scrooge McDuck. It ain't that way.

The rich are rich because they own assets like stock, bonds and real estate. Their net worth can fluctuate. 

The ignorant screech things like So and So just made another million bucks today! Tax him!

Fact is his net worth went up a million bucks because his stocks, bonds or real estate grew in value when in real world money he hasn't seen a dime. If you tried to tax the person they'd probably have to sell the asset to raise the necessary cash. The increase in net worth is theoretical and as such means little or nothing. These things don't become income until they're sold.

Little people do thing like this, too. When you buy a house and the value rises you don't pay taxes on the difference until you sell it.

Taxing the rich is probably a pretty good way to have tax revenues go DOWN. 

  

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Trump's ballroom

is likely something worthwhile. 

Trump has stated that the White House has had to erect tents and use portable toilets for some functions. I Googled it and it appears to be true. We can certainly do better than that. Tents? Portable toilets? Come on, now!

I have been in one of Trump's holdings before years ago and it was airy and totally emaculate. A couple of us were in Atlantic City years ago and decided to check out one of Trump's casinos. I was surprised that everything looked brand new and was immaculate even though it was a few years old.

It wasn't a gambling trip. I think I had maybe two bucks worth of quarters to play the slots with just to be able to say I'd gambled in AC.

Still, my partner and I wandered around and I was very impressed at how clean the place was. Trump or whoever was paying a lot of money to keep the place clean.

The thing that stunned me is that I saw someone spill some popcorn on the floor as I was getting up to find the men's room. I was gone maybe five minutes and when I was returning some uniformed guy went past me carrying a dustpan and pushing a vacuum cleaner. 

When I passed where the scene of the popcorn spill was it had vanished like it had never happened. I was mildly amazed.

While the decor is not burned into my memory, one thing is. I never saw anything even remotely tacky or cheesy in the casino. In my opinion it was a really well put together place and was maintained with excellence. 

It was the kind of place that brings people back. 

Later on a shipmate told me about a visit to one of Trump's buildings in NYC and reported the same thing. The place was immaculate.

In Trump's book he said that he had been told that the cleaning crew could probably only have to shine up the brightwork every three or four days. Trump wasn't having it. He wanted it shined daily.

My guess is he simply wanted cleaning people being seen by the residents because it makes them feel they're getting their money's worth. Having people shining brightwork daily has a certain optic to it.

I have no problem with Trump's ballroom whatsoever. If we are using tents and portable toilets for White House functions that's just plain wrong because we can do better than that.

I also think that building the ballroom is right up Trump's alley because he made his money as a builder.

Besides it's not public money being used. Somehow Trump has raised funds to have it paid for by private donors.

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Halloween is coming and the usual gang is complaining

about Halloween vandalism. 

Of course some of it is apply anywhere crap.

A LOT of it is specifically targeted.

The day after when the complaints appear the first question I used to ask is "What did you do to deserve it?" 

Of course I generally got the usual wide eyed "I didn't do anything!" which makes me wonder. It's the suburban version of 'I dindu nuffin'.

Remember the time you called the police on the kids playing ball in the vacant lot? How about the time you raised hell because some kid rode a bicycle a couple of houses down without a helmet? 

I remember that as a kid the list of upcoming Halloween victims started being compiled on November first. Generally the list was short, sometimes empty but it was kept.

Are you one of those motorists that comes up on a group of kids riding bikes and give them a long, angry blast of your horn to express your displeasure?

(Generally when I pass kids on bikes I smack the horn quickly to give a little muffled 'Bink!' as a courtesy to let them know I'm coming up behind them as a slow speed. They usually pull over and smile and wave as I pass by because I treeated them with a little respect.)

Of course when you ask the victim what they did they claim they did nothing. That's most likely because they don't realize they were being stupid.

All you have to do  to get along with kids is show a little respect.

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Another day at the range

but I woke up late this morning and didn't have enough time to grab my gear. I wanted to shoot the Garand. 

It was supposed to be an 80 or 50 shot match. I would have shot a 50 shot match with the Garand as 50 shots is enough. An 80 shot match is hard on the body when you get old.

One of the guys that's older tham me always takes the 50 shot option.

Actually the reason I showed up late was to make sure I made it to the picnic which was pretty good. Sportsman clubs ALWAYS put on a pretty goood feed.

This ends the official season and we give the range back to the deer hunters for November. In December the preseason matches start up and I guess official the actual matches start up in April.

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Years ago I worked for a guy that had no scheduled paydays

which I actually had no problems with because the money was pretty good and I lived a casual lifestyle.

Every couple of weeks on an odd day after work he's hand out paychecks. I guess he just calculated things out when he felt like it. 

The first couple of times I was curious and carefully checked to make sure everything was on the up and up. It was. Actually it wasn't. I had been hired at the rate of $15/hour and my first check was based on $17.50/hour. I was surprised. The following check I was paid at $20/hour where it stayed. 

When I mentioned that he replied, "I want to keep you around. I pay people what they're worth."

Fair enough.

One day over coffee the subject of the erratic paydays came up. I opined that my life was disorganized to the point where it made no difference.

Another one of the guys said he actually liked it because it kept his wife from casual spending because she never knew when the next payday was. 

The other two guys didn't seem to mind it just so long as they could keep the rent paid.

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On getting arrested.

It amuses me to watch some of the people that interfere with ICE get arrested. An awful lot of them turn thier misdemeanor charges into a legitimate felony bust.

I've been carted off twice. Once for disturbing the peace and another time for armed robbery. Both times I simply kept my mouth shut and did what I was told. I didn't argue with the cop, I didn't resist or fight with anyone. I simply let the chips fall where they may.

The first time, the disturbing the peace charge, I was taken to the station and handed a summons and went home. In court the judge threw it out and called the arresting officer a chowderhead.

The armed robbery arrest lasted a short period of time. The victim came into the police station, looked at me, looked at the cop and said simply "That's not him." 

I had to go through some brief protocol before I was released and went on my merry way. It didn't take long.

The thing that interests me to this day is why neither of these even showed up during my clearance background investigation when I was in the Army.

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Trump hysteria is getting to be more entertaining by the day.

Trump ought to decree a Millard Fillmore Day because Fillmore had the first flush toilet installed in the White House. 

President Trump should be grateful for that because if he tried to get one installed now the screeching would be so epic that he'd have to use an outhouse on the North Lawn. Either that or sneak off to the nearest gas station or convenience store to take a dump. He can thank Millard Fillmore for not having to to do this.

I guess something is wrong with me because I have a mental picture of the President of the United States stumbling out the front door of the White House in his pajamas, bathrobe and slippers into a limo and being whisked off to the nearest gas station or convenience store.  

Right now the left is screaming about the ballroom that is beginning construction. Trump has pointed out that for state dinners and things of that sort that specially constructed tents are used to host these events. Trump says "It isn't a pretty sight." Fair enough. He's probably right. Tents sound a little tacky to me. We can do better. It makes sense.

Of course the left is screaming about the money which is a total joke because Trump has managed to dig up private financing. It won't cost the taxpayers anything. That's pretty amazing if you ask me. A president that can raise that kind of money for a project normally paid for by taxpayers is amazing.

When Hillary Clinton criticized it he offered to name the ballroom after Monica Lewinsky which was delightfully savage. I love it. Hillary has no room to talk as the Clintons left nothing but were forced to return the furniture they stole and they left the computers vandalized. 

Almost all previous occupants left the place at least the same way they found it. Most improved it to some extent or another. Not the Clintons.

So far Trump's first year has done some amazing things. He has writtten the entire platform for the Democratic Party (Hate Trump) and gotten them to make total fools of themselves. He lives in their head 24/7 rent free. 

The left now supports criminals in Chicago, LA and other places. They also support Venezuelan drug cartels. It's hilarious.

The amount of power given to Trump is pretty astonishing when you consider he's currently writing the platforms for both political parties.

I suppose he could create a partial boycott of a company just by endorsing one of their products. It's really amazing. I suppose if he said he used Sunshine Rinso laundry soap the left would screech and start buying another brand even if it gave them a rash or dried out their skin. The patches of flaky skin would be badges of honor (to match their blue hair and facial piercings many of them have).

One of the things I can't help but to notice is how many people over the past few years have been the number of Democrats that have left the party and registered as Republican. While the number is somewhat surprising that doesn't include the Democrats that have registered to Independent or those that have not bothered to change their party affiliation but will vote as Independents. Admittedly that's only the results of the 31 states that keep score, but still it says something.

One has to remember that as the Democrats keep moving left it tends to drag the middle of the road Democrat along with them. In order for them to not be dragged along they have to drop out lest they be supporting a platform they don't believe in. People that leave the Democratic party often say, "I didn't leave the Democratic party. The Democratic party left ME." I know any number of people that have said that. I know I did years ago. I am now seeing an increasing number of #walkaway people.

It wasn't too damned long ago when a Republican and a Democrat would share a beer over the fence and discuss the issues. However the left seems to have gone way too far and the difference between the parties is too great for that to happen like it used to.

What would be interesting to find out is how many new Republicans can't stand Trump. Probably a number of them. The thing is that they held their nose and voted for him because the alternative was far worse. 

Personally in my old age I love Trump if for no other reason than the entertainment value he has provided. The whole thing is hilarious, but then again things that used to be sad now amuse me. It probably keeps me from being carted off to the booby hatch.

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Watching a good father make memories with his kids.

Walmart parking lot a few years back. I had just pulled into a parking space. Someone pulled into the space directly behind me and as I was getting out so was he. He went straight to the trunk, opened it and started taking his three children out of it and stood them on the pavement.

For a second I was sort of stunned but quickly smelled bull$hit and took a quick peek into the trunk. Sure enough, half of the back seat back was down. The kids had crawled through the hole and into the truck where Dear Old dad scooped them up and deposited them on the pavement. Needless to say, I was amused.

Some woman pushing a shopping cart saw it and was not amused. She came charging up and started to go off on Dear Old Dad adding to my amusement. When Dad told her to mind her own damned  business she stormed off incensed adding even more to my amusement.

I stayed clear. I wanted to watch the show.

I was still working and had nothing planned for the day I had off. I decided to see what he would do when he got back to the car.

Maybe a half hour later he returned carrying a bag and walking with the three kids. When he got to the car he opened the trunk and started throwing them in like cordwood. It was pretty funny to watch and he was snarling "I'm not going to listen to you little yard apes all the way to Chicago! Now hurry up. We don't have all day!"

He was doing a pretty good Danny DeVito impersonation. It was pretty funny. The guy was good. He sounded like a nasty little $hit but I knew it was an act.

As he closed the trunk I heard a loud "Owww!" 

That was followed by a loud, "Shaddup and get your damned arm out of the way!" He reraised the trunk lid and gave it a good slam.

About this time some woman came charging up waving her phone and telling him she had pictures and was going to call the police.

"Go ahead, you old bag," he snapped back. She grabbed her phone and dialed and called the police who showed up a couple of minutes after he had left with his kids seated and belted into the back seat.

The woman flagged the hapless cop down and carrying on as to be expected. I caught the cop's eye and said, "Don't leave before you talk to me. Finish with her first." He nodded.

After he was finished with the woman the cop came over to me. "Did you see what happened?" he asked.

"A man pulled in, got out and opened the trunk and three kids squirmed through the fold down seat back and exited the vehicle through the trunk. It was some pretty funny $hit. I looked inside the car when he was out of sight and saw the right half of the backrest was down," I said. "When they returned to the car they reversed the process. The guy was a pretty good actor, too. Sounded a lot like Danny Devito when he said he wasn't going to listen to them all the way to Chicago. I almost cracked when he said that and I play you laugh you lose a lot!"

"You sure those kids were not being abused?" he asked. He was serious.

"Absolutely not. I saw the father look carefully to make sure they were buckled in properly in the back seat. The kids scrunched down to stay as hidden as best they could. Dad was doing his job in spades looking forward to the memories to come," I said.

"Memories?" the cop asked.

"Yeah. In about 25 years down the road they will be at a family gathering. Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever and one of those kids is probably going to say, "Remember when Dad used to let us ride in the trunk?" The three of them will sit at the table and laugh themselves silly and tell their kids about it. You only get to raise kids once so you might as well have fun doing it and make a few memories."

The cop looked at me. "I used to hate calls like these but after so many calls over kicked and abused kids a call like this is actually a delightful rare treat. Thank you."

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WNBA players are demanding more money.

which is a joke because WNBA doesn't generate the revenue that the NBA does.  

Where will the money come from?

It's not like the muckety mucks are keeping every red cent from them. They would likely be happy to be offering million dollar contracts if the sport would grow to the level of the NBA and that's probably not happening.

You can't get blood out of a turnip.

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It looks like NYC is going to turn very, very very, blue.

and when it does a lot of money is going to leave. A LOT of money.

I've heard numerous stories of well-to-do people already listing properties and I've also heard of a number of people already bailing out. Google 'real estate listings in NYC' and see what pops up.

Look at the prices and make a note of them. Then after the election look at the prices and watch them drop like a stone. I'm sure they are not listed at what they could have been listed for before it looked like a socialist will likely become the next mayor. It looks like the owners want to bail out.

I've often wondered what would happen if, for example, the NYSE moved to a small city in middle America. 

My guess is that after a small period of getting used to things the big city types would wonder why they didn't move years ago.

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Someone was complaining about the White House ballroom that is not costing the taxpayers a dime.

Apparently they were unaware that numerous presidents have made changes over the years and said it shoulld be left as built.

"So now you want the President of the United States to have to sneak down to the nearest Sheetz to take a dump? The White House was built before the advent of flust toilets that were installed fifty years after the place was built. I suppose they could tear the toilets out and park a Sani Can outside." I said.

Some people's children.

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How to smear someone.

Joe Blow drank an entire bottle of Jim Beam and drove through a school zone.

True story. He did exactly that. He drank an entire bottle of Jim Beam and an hour later drove through a school zone.

Now for the rest of the story. It was a 50 ml bottle, about 1.5 ounces. He didn't drive through the school zone until two hours later.

But by God he drank the whole bottle!

A man I knew growing up spent three years doing prison outreach at Walpole State Prison.

Now let's put the spin on it. The man spent 3 years at Walpole State Prison.

And that is how easy it is to smear someone. It doesn't take much.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You are not afraid Trump is going to destroy the country. You're afraid he'll be successful and destroy your political ideology.

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Another story about the Old Man.

Long before the days of cell phones when I was about eighteen I went to a kegger and lost track of things. I just plain had too much to drink and it was too far to walk home. I stopped and thought things over 

I figured that if I slept it off and was out all night the Old Man would be angry with me. Then I thought that if I got into an accident or got picked up he'd be madder than a wet hornet. Then I thought again and decided that no matter what would happen to me I was going to do the right thing.

I opened the trunk, got out the sleeping bag and crashed out in the back seat. I woke up, drove home and at about 0630 ot 0700 I walked into the house where my parents were sitting in the kitchen. I was greeted with and angry "Where the hell have you been?!"

I held up both hands in surrender and Dad knew I was going to explain. My mother was upset and started babbling. Dad snapped, "I got this." and turned to me.

"I went to a keg party last night and accidentally lost count and had too much to drink. There was no phone and I refused to drive home because it would have been just plain wrong," I said. "I slept it off in the back seat."

Dad was silent and I could see the gears in his head were tuning. Mom interrupted and Dad again said "I have this!"

"I figured that no matter how mad you and Mom got that the right thing to do was sleep it off and come home and face the music. I'm not in the hospital and I'm not in jail," I said. 

Dad softened a bit. "So you did something stupid," he said. "Then you realized you did do something stupid and decided not to compound it with a bigger act of stupidity."

"Yes, sir," I said.

"You might have been able to drive home and sneak in and get away with it," he said. "And you knew when you walked in this morning you'd be walking into a hornet's nest," he said. "But you didn't. Why?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," I replied. "I figured I'd just have to take my medicine. It wasn't worth risking an accident or getting arrested."

He turned to my mother and said, "Thank God for small miracles. Our son did something stupid but had enough sense not to risk compounding it by trying to risk driving home even though he knew he'd be in hot water. I'm calling this one a wash. Don't do it again. Go in peace, kiddo. You got a lot of moxie."

He turned to Mom. "This case is closed. He learned something."

A couple years later when I was on leave Dad and I were talking. He asked me if I remembered the incident. I had.

'When you left I sat down and thanked God I had raised you to have some common sense. You stood up and offered to take the hit," he said. "I was actually relieved that morning."

"Dad, the jails are full of people that made a small mistake and kept making bigger mistakes to avoid owning up to the little mistake."

He nodded, and exhales audibly. Nothing more had to be said.

The lesson served me well. In the Army I had a problem getting back from leave on time once so instead of wimping out I called the first Sergeant and explained to him the problem I had with a cancelled flight. Top simply sid, "I have you covered and THANK YOU for letting me know."

As it was, I made it back to the unit on time, signing in at 2355 but that's another story.

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Later on I overheard Mom say to dad, "The drinking age is 21."

"The draft age is eighteen." he replied. "He could be in the Army now. I don't care if he drinks a little beer. I'm just watching to see that it doesn't get out of hand."

Then he said, "We can't win this one. Kids are going to follow the example set by adults." 

"Yeah, but it's against the law," Mom countered.

"So is your lead foot," he said. "You just got a speeding ticket. We're not perfect. We do the best we can."

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The drag race.

One night I was driving dad somewhere in a long forgotten errand of some sort. We were on a long, quiet, straight section of road and I saw someone waving a flashlight from side to side.

I didn't think twice. I simply pulled into what was either a long driveway or a fire road. I set the parking brake and turned out the lights.

''What the hell are you doing?" asked Dad.

"Drag race," I replied. "Let's watch it."

The kid with the flashlight started waving it upp and down. A couple of seconds later he shut it off, raised it aiming toward the sky, turned it on and dropped it.

Almost instantly we heard the sound of screeching tires and roaring engines that grew rapidly louder as the neared us. We also heard chirps as both drivers power shifted. 

"Wow! Someone just got rubber in all four gears!" I said to dad, who was watching carefully as they raced past us. The obvious winner was about a length and a half ahead. 

A second later I turned the headlights back on, backed back into the road and we went along on our merry way.

"How did you know there was going to be a drag race?" Dad asked.

"I wasn't 100% sure but I've heard some of the gearheads at school talking about it so I figured it was probably what was happening. The guy with the flashlight over there was the starter. When he dropped his light they both took off."

"You have any interest in drag racing?" he asked.

"Not other than watching them sometimes," I replied. "Maybe some Sunday we can go to New England Dragway."

"Maybe. You do know your mother's car has a 389 cubic inch engine in it." he stated.

"Yeah, but it's a lead sled," I replied. "Remember when you let me go from zero to 45 in it? I wasn't impressed."

"Hmm. What car do you thik you'll buy when you get older?" he asked.

I stopped at a stop sign and proceeded. "Probably something like this. Inexpensive to buy, inexpensive to run. Simple basic transportation."

"Makes sense," he replied. 

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There are about 813 billionaires in the United States.

which means thay control one hell of a lot more than 813 billion as many of them are multi billionaires. I recently read they have $6.2 trillion between them which is one hell of a lot of money.

Of course most leftists can't leave someone else's money alone and are screeching and blaming them for every problem under the sun. Of course they want them appropriately taxed at a rate of, say 90+%.

The battle cry of ''nobody needs that much money'' echoes through the hallowed halls of the left. well, guess what? They earned it. It's theirs to do anything legal they want to do with it. It's theirs and doesn't belong to them. If it did belong to a leftist they would likely stop being leftists and go ape $hit trying to keep it all.

Look at Bernie Sanders. He used to screech about millionaires until he became one. Now he screeches about billionaires. Now that he's a millionaire I don't see him offering to pay more than his legal share.

Needless to say, the left demands that billionaires get hit harder on taxes.

Guess what? Norway tried that a while back and to their surprise tax revenues dropped considerably. Why? 

Because the Norwegian rich moved their money out of Norway. Can't say as I blame them. I would have. 

I bet that if the left got their way then the rich would simply leave the country or at least move their money out of the country.

In fact if enough billionaires moved their money to some hellhole like Somalia or Sudan and set up operations inside a few short years they would not be hellholes. They'd be prosperous as all hell. You'd have immigrants from Minnesota trying to return home to Somalia.

What would happen here in the States is the economy would likely collapse worse than it did during the Great Depresion.

The big problem with the left is they always want to spend someone else's money and they will likely instantly piss it all away on various social programs (at least the part they don't steal)   

The always seem to forget that every billionaire out there in the process of making their billions have created numerous millionaires and countless middle class jobs. Currently Musk has about 147,000 people on the payroll. That doesn't include the number of outside jobs that are created by outside contractors and suppliers. 

Ford Motor Company lists up to 300,000 jobs not including outside contractors and suppliers. You don't get rich all by yourself. Everyone that gets rich takes a lot of people up with them.

The left doesn't think beyond the end of their noses.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Classmates

Someone asked me why I didn't attend my 55th HS reunion.

"Because I couldn't find an attractive 22 year old woman with a newborn to accompany me," I replied.

They looked confused.

Sarcasm is like buying food at a state run market. Some people get it, some don't.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

The NJ state police don't have a sense of humor.

Someone reminded me of the time I have a crew change in New York somewhere. One of the relief crew had driven up in their own vehicle and I got the job of driving it to company HQs to park it for his tour.

The company van also arrived and an ad hoc decision to toss duffel bags in the car I was driving was made. I'd drop the duffel bags off at the company office so they could recover their stuff. The bags were unceremoniously dumped into the car I was driving and the tug skipper's was in the passenger's seat. It had a broken zipper and was open.

I left early and started down the Jersey Turnpike. When I was well along my shiny new cell phone went off and I was told the van had gotten tied up in traffic so I decided to pull over and wait for them.

I forgot why they asked me to do this but I did what they asked.

Anyway, after a while I was bored to tears and noticed the skipper's duffel bag had a hair dryer in it. The skipper was a woman with fairly long hair so it did make sense for it to be there.

I took the hair dryer out and started pointing at cars and watching them panic and slow down. It really was entertaining at first but after watching a number of people panic and try to go from 90 down to 60 in ten feet I realized I could probably have caused an  accident as the traffic was a bit on the heavy side.

I put the hair dryer back in the duffel bag and inside a couple of minutes I saw a cruiser pull in behind me and light up. Quickly I buried the hair dryer under a cooat in the tug skippers duffel bag.

Keys on the dash, window open and hands on the wheel I waited for about half a minute and the state cop approached me and asked for my license and registration. I handed him my license and explained that I was driving someone else's car. I explained I was a seaman making a crew change. Then I handed him my seaman's papers. 

I know it wasn't the first person he'd stopped that didn't have the correct paperwwork. He asked me if I had a hair dryer. 

"Hell, I don't know what the crew has in their duffel bags," I said. "Who knows?"

"Yeah, well if I had caught you pointing a blow dryer at passing cars I would have to arrest you for impersonating an officer," he said. I was uncomfortable with the tone of his voice. "We got a report that someone was doing just that."

I shrugged. He went back to his car and I waited. He took a lot longer than usual. He returned, handed me my license and Z-card (seaman's papers) back and said I was free to go.

I have to admit that it was pretty funny watching people panic and slow down. If traffic was lighter I probably would have been caught because it was funny but it was dangerous doing it in traffic that heavy.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY