One of the things that amuses me is when

some idiot that buys a house next to an airport or military base starts to complain about the noise.

Personally the I truly believe that the army promoted me to E-5 because they realized what kind of grief former corporals have caused throughout history and they were looking at preventing a major war or three.

Of course, making me a general was DEFINITELY out of the question. They most likely knew what kind of grief that would cause them.

I suppose they should have just left ma a PFC but realized their mistake when they made ma an E-4. I went fro E-4 to E-5 in record time.

As a base commander I would likely keep a company sized unit on alert and ready to fall into formation at a moment's notice. Along with this I would have a few friends in the local press handy to show up on short notice.

Picture this: Joe Newly Moved In shows up to gripe about the noise that keeps going on over his new dream home.

General Piccolo asks him to come back the following day and instantly orders a couple of hot fighters to knock a hole in the sky over the griper's house at 0300 that evening. 

A couple of fighter jocks give the place a good buzzing and rattle his windows half out of the frames.

The following day the griper shows up and is met by the company sized formation, brought up in front of it and hears the words, "Attention to orders!"

"Joe Newly Moved in is hereby awarded the Air Force whiner and stupidity medal in accordance with the East Muleshoe Air Force Base policy for sniveling and whining above and beyond the call of duty."

General Pic then pins the medal on the guy, kisses him on each cheek with all the local press cameras clicking away taking pictures for the local press.

With any luck the wire services will pick up on it and maybe a video will go viral.

General Piccolo then turns to the formation, dismisses them and walks off. 

That is why I never made it to general officer rank. The army may be crazy but it is clearly not stupid.



To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY