Proposed Craigslist ad.

Trophy wife needed for high school reunion.

You know the drill.

It's been 45 years.

I was the guy that got put into the big football game because of the 'everybody's got to play in the game' rule.

I caught the pass but tripped over a shoelace at the 3 yard line and we didn't get to go to State. I got blamed for it.

The job in the shoe store never went anywhere.

Wife left me, kids hate me. She even took the dog. The only one in the family that liked me and she took it.

Hair fell out, weight packed on and now I kind of look like Danny Divito.

Picked on at school because I took a different tack and didn't fit in. Bullied by the class bully for all four years.

It's been 45 years since I graduated and I want some payback.

Looking for a topheavy little hottie half my age squeezed into a little black dress to drape on my arm for my 45th reunion.

I want every woman in the room looking at you with daggers in their eyes and every man standing there inside a pup tent.

Ability to strut your stuff down through the geriatric vegetable ward and make catherters pop off takes you straight to the head of the line.

Oh, yeah. One other thing. Don't spill anything in the Ferrari because it's a rental.



I'm not going to post this one as much as I would like to because my email box got stuffed the last time I posted a sham ad.

Besides if someone recognized me and rubbed it in Mrs. Pic's face she'd be rightly upset. It's not fair to her.

A while back I posted that I had a '60s B-52 survival kit for sale and listed all of the contents in Major Kong's kit that was seen on the movie 'Dr. Strangelove'.

I guess most people picked up on it but it went over a lot of heads and I got a few emails asking me if I'd part the kit out.

Someone wanted the .45 and a couple junkies wanted the drugs.

Several people answered the ad and thought it was pretty funny because they recognized it right off. The tip-off was that I said I was willing to trade the kit for a pretty good weekend in Vegas.

Still, if anyone wants to copy it and post it on Craigslist, feel free to. In fact if I was single I WOULD post it for the hell of it.

A couple of years ago I wrote a whacked out personal along a similar vein of pathos and put it on a board for anyone that wanted it.

A couple of guys posted it and reported getting numerous hits and a couple of guys actually got dates.

Feel free to put in on Craigslist.

You might even make the 'Best of Craigslist' column.




Incidentally if you don't remember the survival kit check list scene here's a link to refresh your memory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPwW7RaPO_g



To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY