Today a conversation is going to take place

 and I know how it will go already.

A while back I was buying a do-hickey to keep me from turning off a certain light by accident. The clerk at Lowe's was nosy and asked me if my grandchildren were coming to visit.

It was none of her business so I decided to toy with her and told her that I was a first time father at the age of 62 because I married a younger woman.

Of course, when people start nosing around they do not generally let up. She asked me how old my wife was and to her horror I told her that my wife was getting her driver's license next week and when she gets out of high school we're going to have a dozen more babies.

Of course it was and is a crock. My wife is about my age and I am 62 but the nosy clerk didn't know it.

What is funny is the woman in line behind me had one hell of a hard time keeping a straight face. She knew what I was doing and actually played along telling me to enjoy fatherhood while the babies were still so young and sweet.

I paid for my stuff, slowly walked off and the woman caught up with me and laughed and said I was evil. Funny as all hell, but evil.

My nephew and his wife just had a child and I am coming up soon to visit them and the following conversation is likely to take place shortly.

"Hey, when I get there can I have my picture taken with Miss Sally?"

"Sure, why not," he'll reply.

"Can you get a high school junior or senior to stand next to me?"

"Wait a minute.What's this all about?"

I'll remind him of what happened in Lowe's and he'll laugh like hell and say, "How about with my wife? Will that work?"

"Certainly not," I'll reply. "She's too damned old."

"Too old?! She's not even close to thirty yet! I dunno how the wife is going to like that," he'll say, dubiously.

"We'll give her a copy and when she shows it to her friends they will most likely laugh like holy hell. You gotta admit it is pretty outrageous."

"That it is but what I expect it of you," he'll reply.

"Besides, I got a high school reunion coming up and I ought to get great milage with a picture like that. All of my classmates are grandparents now and it'll outrage most of the women and the guys'll call me a stud."

"High school reunion, huh? Last one you tried to con my sister into going with her kids!"

'Yeah, but I never made it. Can you drum up a high school junior of senior to pose as my new wife?"

"Why not a freshman or sophomore?"he'll ask sarcastically.

"What do you think I am? Some kind of pervert?"

"Yes. Now let's see...There's the girl that watches our dog every so often....She's about sixteen."

"Perfect!"

"Look, the wife is not going to allow this and I'm not going to bother asking her," he will reply. "She'll let you have your picture taken with Sally. That is about it. Then I'll photoshop someone onto it for you and show it to the wife. She'll think it's funny."

"Save a copy for your mother."

"Of course. Mom will laugh her ass off! I told her what you did to that clerk at Lowe's and she damned near died laughing!"




To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY