One of the things I like to do is give the busybodies false information.

Working on the water makes this possible because I am out of town when the non crime is committed because it give me an unimpeachable alibi.

"We're going to burn down the orphanage on the 8th!" (Or whatever)

Of course the little snitch goes straight to the police and babbles incoherently that Piccolo is going to burn down the orphanage on the 8th.

Of course the orphanage doesn't burn down and even so if they decided to check up on my whereabouts I am 600 miles away.

It doesn't take too many times of that and the snitch looks real stupid.

What's interesting to note is that there are actually a couple of officers I check in with when I leave town.

In fact about six or eight months ago one of them asked me when I was going to continue to throw dead hookers out in my trash. Apparently the guys in the department thought it was pretty funny.


They must have thought it was pretty funny because they normally ask someone to stop doing things like that because it generates a lot of traffic to the dispatcher. They must have liked it enough to accept the phone calls which I am sure it generated.

Some years ago I had a friend in retail that would occasionally give me a sun bleached mannequin. I'd throw a cheap set of Walmart fishnet stockings and a pair of Goodwill high heels (preferably the sexy mules) on the mannequin and stuff it in the trash with the legs sticking out.

I stopped doing that when my friend left retail. 

I know the local Gendarmes did get at least one call. Some chubby little Earth mama came to the door and raised hell with me. She told me it wasn't funny and she was going to call the police if I didn't remove it. I offered to let her use my phone and told her that while she was at it she should also mention the 45 pounds of cocaine I was planning on selling to schoolchildren and $475,000 of laundered money I was keeping in the garage. She left in quite a huff.

Actually in a way I respected the little Earth mama. She at least had the moxie to confront me instead of being a whiny little cowardly snitch.


 




To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY