Once a cartload of posts were made I trolled my own thread.
"Yeah, our department is pretty good. Every time they throw me in jail they always make sure I don't bump my head on the cruiser roof. Nice guys."
Needless to say, some people took the bait and a surprising number didn't. A couple of people added to it. Someone commented they put the cuffs on too tight sometimes.
Still, it's rather funny if you even remotely understand what I do for a living. To renew they run a criminal record check on me, a separate DUI check and any drug or alcohol violation means no renewal.
In addition to this I am also under the random urinalysis program for drugs and alcohol.
I actually learned to be like that from a battery commander I had in the Army. He was former enlisted and sometimes he would feign commiserating with someone that ran afoul with the rules.
"I know how you feel," he would say. "Every time I got an Article 15 it was a crock." or "Every time I get thrown in jail they always stuck me in cell next to a firebug that would set his blanket on fire..."
Some of the dummies would believe him.
Of course if he had gotten so much as one nonjudicial punishment he would never have been commissioned in the first place.
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