$19.87 is twenty bucks. Period.

I once was, many, many moons ago in a situation where I bought something and was asked what it cost. The total was $19.87.

"Twenty bucks," I said.

They later bought one and told me I was wrong. "It cost $19.87."

"$19.87 IS twenty bucks," I shot back. "What are you going to do with thirteen cents? Spend it on an 8-ball and a hooker?"

Some people sweat the small stuff.

A lot more of it is small stuff than they realize.

 

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If I see a law that is unjust or plain stupid I simply ignore it.

which makes me like an awful lot of other people.

I simply try and live somewhat responsibly. I go about my business and try to live it with a certain amount of human decency. I try and endanger nobody unless they endanger me first.

I was once stopped for driving too slow on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. It was during an ice storm and the entire turnpike was a sheet of ice and I deemed that even driving at the minimum of 40 (or is it 45?) was a dangerous and stupid thing to do. I simply got into the right lane, turned on my flashers and plodded along. A trooper saw me and pulled me over. I think he was actually fishing for a DUI.

He told me there was a state mandated minimum speed.

"Based on good, clear and dry road conditions," I answered. "We're supposed to be able to think. Do you think this road is safe to drive on at 70 mph?"

"Not really, he confessed. Just then someone passed by at typical daylight speed.

"See that? That's irresponsible," I said.

"Yeah, it is," he confessed. "I should be going after him. Tell you what. Just leave your flashers on and if someone comes up behind you fast and hard duck into the breakdown lane. I wish we had more people like you." With that he left.

I passed several accidents that night but I was not involved in any of them. 

There are a lot of other laws, rules and regulations I routinely flout.

That's because rules and regulations are made by people, most of which do knot have a clue as to what is going on.

We wouldn't need government if everyone lived responsibly but not everyone does. There is no shortage of idiots out there that ruin things for everyone else.

I have said it before, I'll say it again. Government is a necessary evil.

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Most Americans do not understand the Bill of Rights.

They seem to think that the rights in it were given to us by the government which is not the case.

The Constitution only says that the government guarantees they will not infringe on these God Given human rights.

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Here's a pretty good sea story I stole from someone.

The aircraft carrier U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln was finally inching up to the pier at homeport when the Captain of the ship noticed a sailor on the flight deck gesturing wildly with semaphore flags. He then noticed an attractive young woman standing on top of a station wagon, also waving semaphore flags.

Always concerned about security and never having seen something like this, the Captain barked at his Bridge Signalman, "What message are those two people sending?"

The Signalman concentrated intently and soon reported, "Sir, he is sending FOXTROT-FOXTROT and she is sending ECHO-FOXTROT."

Not having any clue as to what these messages could mean, the Captain dispatched an armed Marine to escort the sailor back to the Bridge.

The sailor arrived, out of breath from running up the many ladders to the bridge, and saluted smartly. "Seaman Endicott reporting as ordered, sir!"

"Seaman", shouted the Captain, "Who is that woman on the pier and why are you exchanging signals FF and EF?"

"Sir, that's my wife, Sir, and she wants to eat first!"

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I was buying a turkey yesterday

And some woman asked me if I was going to keep it until Thanksgiving.

"Yes, I am," I replied. "I'm certainly looking forward to it because I will celebrate with all three of my sons. Thanksgiving will be the first time in many years since they have all been out of prison at the same time and I am excited and really looking forward to it!"

Of course she looked horrofied but the woman behind her gave me a big smirk.

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I watched a Cessna fly by last night.

A real 'Washing Machine Charlie'. He was headed NNW and I think he was headed for what is in aviation circles called a $400 dinner.

A $400 dinner is when you use the airplane to go to a nearby city and eat there. It's kind of an excuse to go flying.

Anyway it was pretty nice watching the little plane grind its way toward wherever it was going. It reminded me of all the flying I used to do when I lived in Alaska.

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I was listening to some diet expert

that claimed you have to eat things in certain portions to stay healthy.

So much protien, so many ounces of various colored vegetables, so much starch, so much whatever. 

Of course he says it will do all sorts of stuff for you if you follow his program.

That is an excellent thing to know. We ought to pay serious attention to this and consider following this regimen very carefully.

Old Ted should have thought about this and carefully followed the plan. Old Ted died ahead of his time because he ate doughnuts, smoked Camel straights and drank like a fish and the poor man died at the horribly early age of 102.

Just think!

If he had done all of the things he was supposed to have he might have lasted another fifteen minutes.

People like that snake oil salesmen suck.

Live your life.

I would love to go to Dunkin' Donuts right now for a cuppa cawfeee and a donut but I just downed a double shot of J&B and it ain't worth the hassle.

Avoid even the appearance of evil.

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I stole this from another web site because I found it interesting.

The guy that wrote this was visiting a black friend and was talking to the man's father. If dad disn't get it into the X-ring then it's a pretty damned tight ten. There's certainly something to be said here.

I have said that an awful lot of blacks are still on the plantation and are shackled in the golden handcuffs of government dependency.

So at a friends house with his dad whom I get along with great.

Brings up systemic racism and that we need to change some things about the US that are racist (I’m like here it comes).This based man says the one thing that is systemic racism in the US is the welfare dependency placed on black Americans by FDR and it needs to be removed for any progress to be made.

While we are at it I do remember an interesting conversation I had in a shipyard with a black shipfitter about 20 years ago. He was an interesting man and very talented.

He said that he learned to weld because he knew it was a steady trade and even if the shipyards closed he could still find work or even open his own shop. His goal was to stay off of the government tit because he knew what it meant. To him governmental support meant dependence.

Being a skilled shipfitter meant independence.

 

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One of the tricks I have learned for traveling is to

travel with one of those big plastic footlockers. On the airlines thay count as a single bag.

You do have to be a little careful to get one the right size. The length, width and depth dimensions have to add up to 62 inches or less. 

Contico makes one that is about 1/4 inch under the required dimensions and is pretty tough. I've had one for years.

You can fit an awful lot of stuff into one and when you get to where you are going they're fairly easy to deal with. The entire lid lifts and you can dig through it fairly easily. 

I've traveled with them for years and have three or four in the basement and they're great for visiting. You drag the whole thing in, park it somewhere and operate out of it. It makes things much easier than basic traditional luggage. 

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I think that a big part of the reason I get away with

so much petty crap these days is because I am an old man coupled with the outrageousness of my remarks.

One day I saw a toddler walking down the aisle in the supermarket. It was obvious the toddler had bolted and that the mother would be along shortly. The woman ahead of me grabbed the kid by her hand and held her, awaiting the arrival of the mother that was most likely conducting an aisle by aisle search.

After about a minute the woman holding the child asked me what she should do.

"Hold her for thirty days," I said. "If nobody claims her she's yours!"

Mom was coming up behind me at flank speed and heard the comment and snapped, "That's not funny!" She charged past me and grabbed the toddler without so much as a simple thank you to the woman that held her and the pair stormed off.

The woman that had been holding the toddler looked at me and said, "Just think. In twenty-nine more days I could have been raising a beautiful little girl."

 The woman and I looked at each other and laughed.

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Hair was fun. It was a toy. It was to be played with

I remember the time I got a duck's ass and a real jellyroll. I was living in Kodiak at the time and was a scruffy bearded fisherman/carpenter.

Hair grows. It gets cut and you can either grow it or cut in any way you choose. When I was a fisherman I generally kept if fairly short and had a beard. I didn't like the ZZ Top beard look so I kept it somewhat trimmed up. 

One day I decided that I wanted to run around for a couple of weeks in a 50s grease cut, a real Joe '56 duck's ass and jellyroll. When I wandered into the barbershop I told Sue what I was up to so she trimmed my beard and called it good. 

This lasted for months and months until Sue commented I would be ready in about another month. Sometime during the month I procured a jar of Dixie Peach pomade. Good stuff. Put in in a duck's ass and jellyroll and take the top down on a '57 Chevy and at 120 mph not a hair out of place. A pea sized gob of it in a flat top and you can rest a concrete block on it.

When the time came it was a barber shop shave and Sue went to work.  

I left the barbershop with a classic grease cut, engineer boots, cuffed blue jeans and a white T-shirt with a pack of Luckies rolled up in the sleeve. Instant time machine.

I ran around like that for about a month until I got tired of having to comb it up every morning so one day I washed the pomade out and wandered back in to the barber shop and had Sue give me a fisherman's cut and the world went back to normal.

I did this again here about 15 years ago and one of the kids asked me a couple of questions about what I used to keep my hair in shape. A couple of months later I spotted a couple of neo Rexall Rangers so I figure the kids had gotten the idea from me and tried it out for a couple of months. 

I laughed because it's not too many older guys that can start a teenaged fad even if it didn't last very long.

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On another board the subject of raccoons came up.

Someone mentioned relocating them and said he captured the two 'kids' and relocated them.

I replied that I had relocated the two yard apes up the street and dropped them off somewhere in Illinois but inside a week they were home again.

I guess next time I'll just take them down to the railroad yard and stuff them into a box car that's heading west.

Where I posted this will draw a couple of grins and that's likely about all. 

I can imagine posting it on Nextdoor and having all of the soccer moms go stark staring bonkers.

What!? You did what to those kids?!

Kind of like the time I told a mother I once has a.pretty little girl like hers.

She asked me what happened to her, expecting to hear she became a doctor or something.

I told her that I had lost her in a poker game and my wife was so mad she didn't talk to me for a whole week.

It took her a while but she realized I was being snarky old self.

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What is 'White Privlege' anyway?

Someone asked me what it is and the discussion came up and about three or four of us white guys can't really figure it out. It's a myth.

Minorities are often hired ahead of us even though they may or may not be as qualified. They have greater job security because employers are afraid of having the race card played on them.

Yet they still speak of white privilege that we supposedly have.

OK, we figured it out. It's the Secret Handshake. We give the Secret Handshake when minorities are not looking.

Don't tell anyone. It's a secret and we can't let minorities know about it.

Come to think about it we haven't been doing it much these days because of Covid 19.

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I read a thread on another board where the subject of red flags in dating services came up.

Someone was talking about a dating site.

Someone said that 'brain injury survivor' was a definite red flag and I do see his point.

On the other hand one could look at it as an asset as it can save him a few bucks over the Yuletide.

Being able to drop a couple of coloring books under the Christmas tree is a whole lot cheaper than taking her someplace to buy an expensive tennis bracelet or something along these lines.

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Someone was griping about an old woman feeding raccoons.

which is a bona fide gripe because it draws them into his property.

It's actually illegal to feed wildlife and it often creates a nuisance.

Raccoons are a pain in the ass and while I suppose they should not be shot on sight in residential neighborhoods, they should not be nurtured, either. Same holds true for skunks and a few other animals.

I hate calling government to solve my problems and I do think that the way I would handle things is that I would sneak over and relocate the food she is providing the raccoons. I would move it to her back porch and let her deal with the animals up close.

People like that generally think it's OK to spend someone else's money (as in taxpayer monies) but take an entirely different tack when it's their money being spent.

Once she starts dealing with a bunch of nasty old raccoons up close she'll change her ways.

 

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Another busy day

Today.

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Posting by Kindle

So it will be short.

Sometime I will post about how the French Foreign Legion got me into this business.

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Someone asked me how I think all of this crap up

and I do not know what to tell them.

It just seems to come to me during the day.

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Looks like another busy day

which kinda sucks.

Whoops1 Found a few minutes but have a block and not a whole lot to say other than the subject of finding one shoe in the breakdown lane came up.

Some time ago a woman asked me what I did for a living and I told her I worked for the DOT and drove around putting one shoe in the breakdown lane of Interstate highways to keep motorists alert.

She swallowed it hook, line and sinker and I'll bet she told everyone she knows she mat the guy responsible for doing that. 

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I pulled another pretty good one on Nextdoor.

I started sort of a back the blue thread and it took off as I expected. It got a lot of comments from people saying how important the local PD is and actually it is.

After about 40 comments where people would forget who started the thread I commented that the police are really a bunch of nice guys because every time they take me to jail they make sure I don't get my head smashed against the cruiser roof while they are putting me into the back seat.

That got a number of Karens wide eyed but to my surprise several people picked up on it and seemed rather amused.

One Karen IM'd me and wanted to know why I was always getting thrown in jail.

I told her that every time someone asks me nosy questions I get angry and stick them with an ice pick. I think that quelled her curiosity.

Maybe she reported me to the police. I hope they told her that maybe she shouldn't ask so many nosy questions.

A few years back I was running my portable ham rig in the park and a cop pilled up nearby to have lunch in his car. It really was a nice day and I'd probably do the same thing.

Anyway someone came up tome and DEMANDED to know what I was doing. Had she been even remotely civil about it I would have cheerfully told her but she wasn't.

I said to her that if I told her I'd have to kill her. She ran over to the cop that had heard everything and asked what I was doing.

"Lady, I don't want to know. I've got three kids to support and I don't want to get killed!"

She walked off in a snit and much to his credit the cop smirked at me.

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