Piccolo goes to Admiralty court.

This goes back maybe two decades and the memory is somewhat clear but not really sharp. Dates, times and details are as best as I can recall. Names (as usual) changed to protect the innocent AND the guilty.

For the record, federal district courts have jurisdiction over all admiralty and marine actions. Calling it admiralty court is a figure of speech in the United States. However, maritime law is regarded as a specialty by lawyers. 

One evening we arrived at a dock and tied up. We were immediately notified they couldn't start loading us until 0700 the following day. I sacked out and relieved my shipmate at 2359 per SOP. I had told the dockman to bang on the hull with a wrench if they needed anything. That didn't need to be said. It was pretty much a universal form of dock to barge communication under the circumstances. It really rings loudly throughout the entire vessel.

I settled in for a long, quiet watch of reading and maybe television. Sometime during the middle of the watch emergency lights on the dock caught my attention. I took one look out the window and saw an ambulance and instantly went out on deck. It seemed a dockman had fallen off the dock somehow and had been fished out and injured. He was being taken to the hospital.

I went below and logged the incident carefully and then called dispatch. I told him what had happened and said I wanted to tell an adult about it. 

The newbie dispatchers get a bit rankled when you say you want to tell and adult but the term was coined by an older dispatcher. He patched me through to the on call port captain. 

I explained what had happened and suggested they call the dock and find out what happened. He asked me why I had kicked him awake and I told him that that there was a good chance he had tried to climb aboard and that would involve our equipment. I pointed out that I didn't want this listed in a dispatch log as a simple line that would easily be overlooked. "Gut instinct," I said.

"I'll buy that. Good work," he replied. I knew I had done things right.

When I was relieved I told him about everything that happened and how I handled it. I also suggested he try and get some details from the dock office and log whatever he heard. 

At 1200 when I relieved him he said that it was a good thing I had called the office and talked to an adult because the fool of a dockman had decided to climb aboard instead of hitting the side with a wrench and had slipped and fallen into the drink.

The cargo transfer was routine and afterwards the tug sailed us immediately.

A day or two later we were told to make a copy of the logbook entries for the night and send them into the office. We did that and they were handed off to a tug headed to the Philly office.

That ended it...or so we thought.

About a year or so later we were both told we were being pulled off the barge and taken to the Philly office for a few days. When we asked why we were simply told we were going to court. Needless to say, that scared the holy hell out of us. What was that all about?

When we got there we walked into our port captain's office and asked what the hell was going on. Thank God the port captain was one of the good guys. He told us to call the man and find out. We would do the talking and he would listen.

When we asked about accommodations we were told to bunk on a tied up tugboat. When I asked about food he snapped "You guys are issued grub money!"

I shot back that we had spent it on food that was now on the barge being eaten by the two clowns he replaced us with and suggested they take their per diem and give it to us so we could eat.

"Don't you guys have any money?" he asked.

"No. we both lost our money in a poker game," I replied. "Besides, you want us to show up in court in greasy overalls?"

"What about your street clothes?" he asked.

"You know how we are. We work in coveralls and rags and come to work in clothes that will become rags and then work clothes," I said. "if you want a pair of bums representing you in court that's up to you."

"Yeah, well..."

My port captain looked at me and signaled me to cut it short. I simply hung up and looked at me. I said to him "Gosh! We better tell an adult!"

He looked at me mildly annoyed for an instant and then grinned. "That's one way of putting it," he said. "You are the epitome of tact and a real wordsmith," he said. "You're right, though. We better tell an adult. I'm going to jump the chain of command on this one."

He didn't go to the summit, but he went close. He went to the military crest and asked what was going on. We finally found out what this was all about. The company was being sued over the accident that had happened over a year earlier. We were not being sued by the oil company but by the injured individual. 

The VP of operations asked the port captain where my shipmate and I were and seeing we were on speakerphone the tow of chorused we were 'right here.'

He told us not to go anywhere and someone from the home office would be by in two or three hours. If I recall it was not noon yet. He also told our port captain to get us a room at the local Red Roof and take us to lunch. 

After lunch the pair of us went to the break room or whatever it was. There were a couple of couches there so we took a siesta and waited.

Mid afternoon came and the port captain rousted us and took us into a conference room and told us that Robert, the man who we were to meet was a few minutes away. He left and returned a few minutes with Robert. The first time I saw Robert I wondered what kind of a nerdy guy he was. I was mistaken. He was a smart tiger. 

Later I found out he was a King's Point graduate and had quite some sea time on ships.

He asked my port captain where we were staying and were told we had rooms at the Red Roof. Then he pulled out a company credit card and two cell phones with chargers and handed my shipmate a phone, charger and the credit card. I got the other phone. He said the pair of us could eat together anywhere we wanted and told us to fill our vehicle gas tanks. He then asked the port captain 'if we were OK' which we later figured meant that did we behave ourselves. The port captain vouched for us. I believe he also handed us $100 cash apiece for 'incidentals'. Later we were not asked for it back and we never  figured out why we had been given it.  Neither of us had spent any of it until after the trial.

He asked us about our clothing and we told him we had nothing suitable for court. We had none. We were told to each get an outfit suitable for court and charge it to the company. We were going to spend part of the next couple of days getting briefed by the company attorney who was actually a local Admiralty lawyer the company had hired. He then gave us a quickie course on the cell phones and told is to go shopping and get a good night's sleep and be ready tomorrow morning for getting prepped by the attorney.

Then he said something that immediately let us know he had a maritime background. "Save the outfits for court. You can wear your coveralls to the attorney's.

We made a beeline to Walmart and picked up suitable outfits. I had slacks, a sport shirt and sweater, he opted for the same and in addition grabbed decent looking cheap shoes to replace our work shoes and went to the Red Roof and parked out outfits. We went out to eat and sacked out early.

The next morning we were up early and breakfasted and at about 0830 Robert showed up and took us to Center City and the attorney's office. My shipmate told his story to the attorney and I told mine. My shipmate was sleeping and the first I knew about what happened to the dockman was when I saw the ambulance lights. Nobody had given us any warning of trying to board us. The VHF radio, while seldom used by the dock had been on and I never heard anyone hitting the barge's side to signal us.

The attorney told us to be honest, tell the truth and not to bandy words with the plaintiffs attorney. He also gave us other advice as to how to conduct ourselves. We were to come across as what we were, basic, simple sailors.

The prep was less than I expected. The attorney took us to lunch at some hifalutin' place in Center City and we went back to the Red Roof and had the afternoon off. 

Later that afternoon we got a call on one of the cell phones we had been issued. We were to be ready by 1100, dressed for court. We bedded down early, had an early breakfast, returned to the fleabag and waited. At 1030 we dressed for court.

We were picked up and drove to Center City where at about 1130 we headed for a quick lunch and at 1250 we went into the courtroom and waited for a short time and court resumed. The trial had been going on for some time. We were almost immediately called and my shipmate went first. He explained that he had slept through the entire incident. The plaintiff was through with him in just a few minutes. 

The defense attorney asked him if he could hear the sound of metal and metal in his sleep. He replied that I had dropped a wrench on deck a couple of times and he had been wakened from a deep sleep and gone charging out on deck in the snow clad only in flip flops and his underwear to see what had happened. He had heard nothing that night.

No further questions. 

I was next. I put my hand on a bible and someone said "Doyousweartocalluppropertypriatypecuritypuritysuritysecurityandnothurtthestatesaywhat?''

"What? I asked.

"Take your stand."

That's what it sounded like. In short I was duly sworn in and took the stand.

The first question the plaintiffs attorney asked me was what I thought caused the accident. Oh, well. I had sworn to tell the truth, the hole truth and nothing but the truth. Here goes.

"Stupidity," I replied.

Our attorney looked concerned with my answer. 

The plaintiff's attorney demanded an explanation. What do you mean by that!" I was very surprised by such an old saw being thrown at me. It was a classic opening. On the other hand the lawyer could have been trying to set up a trap. 

"I mean there was a ladder on the dock," I said. "He could have used that...OR hit the side of the barge with a wrench and signaled me and I would have been out on deck like a shot to lower our ladder. He's been on that dock for years and knows the rules and decided instead broke them and to try to scale a flat steel hull and as a result fell in the water. That sounds like stupidity to me."

"Why don't you simply leave a ladder down and in place?" he demanded.

"Because an untended ladder gets broken, bent or smashed by passing ship wash or tidal action," I replied. "The only time a boat stops moving is when it is in a drydock or cribbed up ashore. When someone is coming aboard or leaving we lower a ladder and when it's not in use we haul it back on board."

"Did you have a gangway on board?"

"Yes." 

"Why didn't you lower it? he demanded.

"Because we were told not to by the dock person that helped tie us up. Actually we never do that at this particular dock because it doesn't fit well on that dock. We supply it as a courtesy when requested. It's not required by law. However when requested we supply it. We were told not to because the dock person that tied us up knew it didn't fit well and told us he didn't want it."

He asked me a couple more inane questions that I answered with a yes or no and then our attorney got his turn. I was very, very surprised it went that way. I had fully expected to find myself playing word games with the plaintiff's attorney.

"No questions, Your honor." 

I left the stand and went and sat down. Our attorney gave me a look I could not figure out. 

I noticed that the plaintiff's attorney tried to be dramatic and intimidating. Ours had been more fatherly in the way he asked questions. He was more like Ward Cleaver patiently asking the Beav where the missing cookies went.

An employee of the oil company that owned the dock was called to the stand and gave testimony for a few minutes. The plaintiffs attorney asked him a couple quick questions and our attorney asked him if there had been a ladder or a wrench available on the dock. There had been.

The rest is somewhat of a blur. The jury was sent out to come to a verdict and my shipmate and I were told to prepare to come in the next morning if we wanted to hear the verdict. We did. Back to the Red Roof.

While Robert drove he told us we had done well. He told us to relax and get a good night's sleep.

The following morning I pointed out to my shipmate that we were going to court in the same outfits we had been wearing for the past two days. He agreed. We were both about the same size so we swapped clothes around a bit. Apparently it worked because Robert asked us if we had gotten new clothes the night before. When I told him he laughed and said, "You two guys are a real team. I had a roomie at the Academy I used to do that with sometimes."

The following day we were picked up at 0800 and arrived back in the courtroom and the judge jury came out and someone on the jury handed the judge a paper of some sort. 

I don't remember much but early on I heard something that didn't sound very good and I caught Robert's eye. Out of the corner of his mouth he whispered to me, "That's good."

I didn't understand all of the legal mumbo jumbo but Robert and our attorney were doing their best to suppress smirks. The court broke up and headed into the hall. Instantly the plaintiff's shyster attorney approached the pair of us and tried to hand us his cards telling us that if we needed a good attorney to give him a call. 

"Why? You lost," replied my shipmate.

A moment later the plaintiff approached us and made some lame comment about how if he had known it was us he never would have sued. We were both kind. We accepted his apology with a 'no hard feelings.' We both actually felt bad for him. We'd both known him for years. He was actually a halfway decent dockman.

On the way back to the Red Roof Robert, who had been there for the entire trial, told us about the plaintiff's wife's humiliating testimony. She had said that the plaintiff was useless around the house and was unable to take care of her in bed anymore and was now useless. That must of been really humiliating for him. It was pretty clear that she was at the bottom of the whole mess.  My guess is looking back on it she had a friend that had a cousin that was an attorney or maybe she saw one of those 'if you've ever been injured' ads on TV.

When we neared the Red Roof we were given further orders. We were to jump in our vehicles and head to the company HQ a couple hours south and refuel at the nearby convenience store on the company credit card and then report to the home office. 'Someone wants to talk to you.'

We did what we were told, driving separately. When we arrived at the home office Robert was at the door. We handed him the cell phones and the credit card. when I mentioned the $100 cash we had been issued for 'incidentals' he simply said, "You spent it on incidentals."  He led us into this meeting of almost all of the big shots and started introducing us to almost all of them. We got the obligatory thanks and so on and so forth. We were discreetly called into another room and handed envelopes by some woman which we stuffed into our pockets. Later we discovered it was a pretty good little pile of cash. IIRC it was something like $500, maybe even a grand. I don't remember.

Then we were given orders to go home and return to work on our regular schedule. That gave us over a week's time at home and we knew we'd be paid for it. We were.

In addition to that, when our paychecks arrived we saw our grub allowance had been doubled. Later I found out our port captain had put the fix in on that one. He was more than aware that grub related issues were the source of a lot of feuds and didn't want one to start when we returned to empty cabinets. 

Although we both came out smelling like a rose, we both wished it had never happened in the first place because life would have been a whole lot less nerve wracking.  

I never did find out all the details and mechanics of the final verdict simply because I was happy we came out on top and that life would quickly return to normal. I think we were supposed to cough up $2 or something, if that.

Aftermath.

The next time I ran into the woman that had handed us our 'bonus' was a couple of years later. She was walking down the company dock.

One of the guys I had a long good natured running feud with mooned me. He hadn't noticed her walking down the dock and she was looking up.

When I saw she had seen it I started to pale expecting a monumental explosion but she seemed to know what was going on and laughed like hell.

 

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY