Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Post 2000

Be the first kid on your block to read them all!

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

I just read where there is another remake of King Kong

 on the drawing board slated for 2017. It sounds like a waste of time and money because they got that one right the first time back in 1933.

I ought to write a screenplay and call it The LAST remake of King Kong and mix and match all of the characters of the previous versions. I'll add a couple, too.

Of course, Henry P. "Crash" Murphy, 107 years old, and one of the original aviators would be in it. He'd steal a biplane off of the museum ship Intrepid and be seen charging in there with a reluctant gunner that tried to stop him but was too late and found himself in the rear seat.

Old crash would be doing a few mauevers to get used to flying again. The rear gunner, a graduate of Top Gun, would be in the back seat scared stiff and puking out the cockpit as Crash heads for the Empire State building snap-rolling the old two winger.

Picture old Crash wild-eyed and cackling as he bears down on poor old Kong with the guns a-blazing having the time of his life.

The Skull Island business would be a pretty good deal, too. Instead of being a native village it would be a think tank of various engineering types and mathamaticians living there but with a caveat in their rental agreement. They have to act as natives if anyone shows up to hunt for Kong. So you see these guys all pissed off over having to get into native costumes and practice dancing around before the Kong hunters arrive.

Watching a bunch of engineers and mathamaticians practice speaking gibberish so as to pass as natives should be a pretty good sight to behold.

The gas bombs used to subdue the oversized primate would be huge clouds of marijuana smoke provided by none other than Cheech and Chong.

There would be more involvement of political officials, too. You'd get to see the mayor flipping out and doing what politicians do which is worry about votes instead of trying to save the public. 

Of course, the screams of Fay Wray would have to be lifted from the original sound track because we have never found such a scream queen as her. Jamie Lee Curtis, scream queen extrodinaire, was a not very close second to Fay Wray.

As for Kong himself, he'd be the original 1933 version instead of the newer creations. They got that one right the first time, too.

If I had the time to write a screenplay for this I'd be on it in a heartbeat. It would be a service to the American public and keep them from having to sit through another sad remake of an American classic.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Monday, December 15, 2014

If you are

 a serving GI on active duty and especially if you are overseas I have a little piece of advice for you. I have been reminded of this little trick because of the old black and white western I am watching right now.

If you are in danger of being over run by an enemy force get on the horn fast to the nearest Cav unit. It doesn't matter where they are, just call them.

According to my observations of 63 years I have never heard of or seen the United States Cavalry arrive too late to save the day.

I'll also add that back in the old west all the woman wore bullet bras. Check it out sometime when an old horse opera comes on the air.

Big hair was also popular in the old west, too. The woman all looked like the Dallas Cowboys cheer leaders.

There is also always a guy in a fancy suit that stirs up a lot of crap. I have always wondered why nobody ever just socks the guy. I figure if he got his face rearranged a time or two he's stop making trouble for everyone else.

There is also a special rifle they had back then that was popular with pioneer women. If a woman pointed it directly in the air, closed her eyes and pulled the trigger she would knock an Indian off of a fast horse at 600 yards.

Back then revolvers were more accurate, too. A sheriff could be leading a posse chasing the bad guys 600 yards ahead of them and knock one of them out of the saddle.

It was a double edged, sword, though. A bad guy could turn around in the saddle, shoot and knock a posse lead rider out of the saddle where he was sure to be trampled by the horses of the guys behind him.

What is interesting about the American western movie is that they are 100% All-American entertainment and one of the biggest exports Hollywood has ever created. They can only be considered American.

You likely could not pull off a High Noon type showdown on the Champs Elysees or Red Square very well unless you were Mel Brooks. 

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Sunday, December 14, 2014

As usual

 I am trying to get by and make a living and it seems to get harder and harder. None of this is employer related. It's actually the way the economy runs.

It seems the more the government makes it harder for companies to get ahead the harder it is for the guy doing the actual job to get things done.

A lot of people criticize the term trickle down economics but from where I sit, Reagan seemed to know what he was talking about. 
Things do in fact trickle down.

They also trickle up and I feel the term 'trickle up poverty' is as valid as trickle down economics. Trickle up poverty is when the lower end of the middle class drops into the poverty class. It happens a lot more daily as the middle class shrinks.

It seems to me that the harder the government tries to make things even out the worse things get for ALL of us.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Saturday, December 13, 2014

If you have been following

 this blog for some time you might recall that I became an ordained minister a while back as somewhat of an insurance policy for my nephew's wedding.

I put the sticker on the back window of my pickup and have had a couple of people ask me about it. Generally this is when I look particularly scruffy for some reason or another. Most likely because a scruffy clergyman looks out of place in most areas.

Generally I am kind and politely explain that I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church and people leave it at that.

I have had one guy that asked me in the wrong tone of voice, though. When he asked belligerently why I had a minister sticker on my truck I snapped back at him, "Because I'm a f***ing minister, A$$hole!"

The look of shock on his face was priceless.

The other time I fell back on my ministry to get something done was when I was sitting in the galley and some newbie came charging in most likely carrying another rumor or other tiding of great joy.

I pointed at my certificate and told him, "I am hearing this man's confession."

He stopped and tried to figure it out. He read the certificate.

"He's getting to the good part and we would like a little privacy," I added.

I guess what he read sunk in.

"Uh...sorry," he said, and fled like Old Beelzebub himself was chasing him.

Sometimes being a minister has its advantages.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Friday, December 12, 2014

The way it is.

One of the things I seem not to really sweat is what I sleep on. I really don't know why but I'm not really picky just so long as it isn't a rock pile of some sort. I don't know why this is but it's pretty much the way it is.

Some people I know seem to lose sleep if someone places a pea under the mattress.

I do not know where this comes from, most likely from being a hard-nosed camper as a kid. Maybe it was the army, hard living in Alaska or a combination of a rough earlier lifestyle.

I can sleep on a bench seat of a pickup and zonk out like a baby and I have done so on countless road trips. Just last year I got tired while driving home and crashed out for a couple hours on the bench seat of my pickup. I had to put the shifter in 5th to get it out of the way but then I was good to go.

I consider it to be one of the things I have been blessed with.
Another thing that seems to happen to me is that I always seem to have good luck finding parking spaces. I swear, I could show up at the Superbowl fifteen minutes before game time and get a spot fifty feet away from the entrance. It's uncanny.

A couple of years ago I went out for Black Friday because I had never done it before and I pulled up in front of Wallyworld ten minutes before it opened and someone was pulling out for some reason or another and I wound up parked in the spot closest to the door. I don't know why this is.

On the other hand, when I am driving on a rural US or state route it seems that I always get stuck behind a slow mover for several miles, I suppose this makes the parking space business is a wash.
Sometimes I can't for the life of me figure out why the dear Lord made me this way, but he did and I ain't complainin'.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Thursday, December 11, 2014

The kid across the street seems to be doing pretty well in science and math

which is a good thing. I'm hoping he gets his degree in some kind of science or engineering as it would likely permit him to get a halfway decent job and be useful.

I was talking to another guy a while ago and he made me laugh. It seems the Social Justice Warriors were up to something useless and it was on the news. He was sitting at a computer and heard it and commented that the Social Justice Warriors most likely have degrees in things like Woman's Studies or  something along these lines.

He's probably right. These people likely do have useless degrees. If they had degrees in science or technology they's likely be doing something useful.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY