Whenever the subject of drinking and driving comes up I usually say that I've always had a beer between my legs since I started driving when I was fourteen. (Actually I started driving when I was twelve.)
Most people understand sarcasm and smirk, laugh or roll their eyes, but not all of them. Some people get confused and start babbling about how you have to be 16 to drive and 21 to buy beer.
To those people I point out that I embarked on a life of crime when I was 8 which really gets them confused.
Actually there's more than a kernel of truth to this because from the time I was about 12 onward if it was after dark and the only two people in the car were my father and I there was probably a better than average chance I was the driver.
When I was about 12 I asked my father to teach me to drive and he pulled over and we swapped seats. Inside a year I was his regular after dark good weather chauffeur.
Every now an then dad would do something that came out of nowhere that was funny as hell. I was about 14 and we had stopped at the beer store and dad had gotten a 6-pack. when we were driving along dad handed me a beer and said, "Here. Don't open this. Put it between your legs."
"I'm planting a seed. The older you get the funnier this will become." he chuckled. "Now you can tell your grandchildren you drove around with a beer between your legs when you were fourteen."
He was right, as usual. Fifty nine years later it's hilarious.
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