I have felt caged an and decided to go for a walk in the mall which I don't thing I have been in for at least 10 years. It wasn't crowed and was actually rather nice checking things out. It's been kept up and maintained.
A young mother with a two week old son was leaving one of the stores and having kind of a hard time with a package and the new infant. I went over and offered to help. She looked at me carefully and explained she was going over to the bench to put her newly purchased infant carrier together. She looked to be about 22 years old.
Holding a 2 week old infant is a joy for me. The infant is entering the world that I am soon leaving. Holding the child was a very, very spiritual moment for me. Of course no spiritual moment lasts very long.
I was spotted by a woman I barely knew and had not seen in years which was a food deal as far as I'm concerned. She walked up to me and asked me how my wife was doing. I decided to take one helluva chance.
"She threw me out a few years ago," I said. "As you can see, I've remarried."
The infant's mother never looked up. She continued setting up the carrier. The woman's head exploded and she mumbled something and walked off.
That's when the mother looked up at me with mirth and merriment in her eyes. She snickered and said, "Good one!"
I went back to enjoying the two week old, the mother finished with the baby carrier, loaded up her precious cargo and said to me, "I can't wait to tell my husband about this. Thank you for your help."
I'm fairly certain this will get back to my wife who will be glad I helped a woman with an infant but I'll probably catch hell for claiming fatherhood of the cherub.
I'll simply explain that it's in the manual, The Suburban Dwellers Guide, 2023 Edition, Government Printing Office (Which Trump had told DOGE not to close) on Chapter 8, Duties of old men. Section H Targets of opportunity are to be engaged so long as no physical risk is present.....Subsection 6 Specifically says that elderly gossips are to be given something to gossip about, preferably a story of a scandalous nature.
I suppose I'll still get my ass chewed anyway, but being able to hold a two week old infant is worth it.
This was an exceptional day.
A young mother with a two week old son was leaving one of the stores and having kind of a hard time with a package and the new infant. I went over and offered to help. She looked at me carefully and explained she was going over to the bench to put her newly purchased infant carrier together. She looked to be about 22 years old.
Holding a 2 week old infant is a joy for me. The infant is entering the world that I am soon leaving. Holding the child was a very, very spiritual moment for me. Of course no spiritual moment lasts very long.
I was spotted by a woman I barely knew and had not seen in years which was a food deal as far as I'm concerned. She walked up to me and asked me how my wife was doing. I decided to take one helluva chance.
"She threw me out a few years ago," I said. "As you can see, I've remarried."
The infant's mother never looked up. She continued setting up the carrier. The woman's head exploded and she mumbled something and walked off.
That's when the mother looked up at me with mirth and merriment in her eyes. She snickered and said, "Good one!"
I went back to enjoying the two week old, the mother finished with the baby carrier, loaded up her precious cargo and said to me, "I can't wait to tell my husband about this. Thank you for your help."
I'm fairly certain this will get back to my wife who will be glad I helped a woman with an infant but I'll probably catch hell for claiming fatherhood of the cherub.
I'll simply explain that it's in the manual, The Suburban Dwellers Guide, 2023 Edition, Government Printing Office (Which Trump had told DOGE not to close) on Chapter 8, Duties of old men. Section H Targets of opportunity are to be engaged so long as no physical risk is present.....Subsection 6 Specifically says that elderly gossips are to be given something to gossip about, preferably a story of a scandalous nature.
I suppose I'll still get my ass chewed anyway, but being able to hold a two week old infant is worth it.
This was an exceptional day.
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