Every so often I hear someone say 'I almost joined the (insert service here)." In this case it was the Army.
It irks the dogsnot out of me and I generally say something.
"What do you mean almost?" I asked, warily.
"I signed up but then they let me go because I had a heart murmur," he replied. "I flunked the physical."
"Did you sign your name on the dotted line?" I asked.
"Yeah, I did," he replied.
"Then you didn't almost join the Army. You DID join the Army. You got nothing to be ashamed about whatsoever." I said. "They let you go for a heart murmur which you had no control over. You manned up and signed your name on the dotted line and that means something!"
The reason I was wary when he said 'almost' joined the Army is because I hear that from time to time, generally from some sad sack that's trying to be one of the boys.
"Well, I almost joined the army..."
When I hear that as a general rule the person that said that winds up having to fill out a hurt feelings report because it's bull$hit and I called him on it.
Either you joined or you didn't.
I suppose a lot of vets and even numerous non vets think that a person has to have X many days/weeks/months/years to be able to say they joined. There IS a minimum time spent serving in order to claim veteran's status (and benefits) but that's not the point I am making.
If you signed on the dotted line, you joined. Period.
Either you stood tall before The Man and signed the paper or you did not. It really doesn't matter to me either way. As I sit here posting this the guy across the table joined. He signed papers and got rejected at MEPS and never even left for basic training. No shame there. Still, for that minute he stood before The Man and signed the paper.
Another guy on board never did enlist. He'll tell you that up front and outright. No shame there. There was no draft at the time and he had other things to do.
This post is aimed directly at those that are hemmers and hawers that are trying to play both ends out against the middle. Either you joined or you didn't. Either your pregnant or you're not.
Tell me about how you almost joined the service and you are going to get an earful from me.
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Then there's the wannabe tough guy that says he wasn't going to take any $hit from the drill instructors and would probably beat the hell out of him.
Yeah, right.
About a decade ago I heard someone say that and the guy I was with went off on him. My cohort had actually served as a drill sergeant and really got into Mr. Tough guy's face. Gunny Ermey would have been proud of him as he called him every name in the book and pleaded with him to take a swing.
It turned out to be one of the best humiliations I have ever seen in my life. He had Mr. Tough guy quaking in his flip flops.
Almost joined, my ass!
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