Today I went on the offensive in my not announced to this day campaign to take my country back.
I had to travel today, but before I did I checked in at a number of spots.
I checked in with the Hindus at the local place I do business at and wished them a Merry Christmas and they returned the greeting. The Jew down the street I did the same to with the same results. The former Egyptian working on his citizenship and a Muslim smiled and returned the greeting. He's an interesting guy. I saw him smoking one day and stopped to yak with him. He offered me a smoke and I lit up. We solved the Middle East situation together in about 4 drags of a Kool, which I don't like. The sorry bastard ought to start smoking Marlboro, but that's OK.
We both agreed that prior to '48 the Jews and the Muslims were brothers and best of neighbors. They helped each other out and watched out for each others kids. In '48 the politicians started shit and ruined things in the same way the do-gooders recently ruined Alaska.
I did my homework in that I checked in with every non-Christian I knew and not a single one told me that they objected to the 'Merry Christmas' greeting. A couple of them pointed out that they found it refreshing that Christians were willing to share their holiday.
Of course, the Hindu that works at the liquor store and generally is a smart-ass that gives me a pretty good run for my money told me that any day he gets off is a pretty good deal. He works too many hours and his point was taken.
Then, being the All-American smart-ass he is, he also pointed out that he is also Irish at least for 1 day a year because he sure sells a lot of booze on St. Patrick's Day. Go figure. Guys like him belong here as they are smart asses with an angle and make it a point to give clowns like me a run for their money. Ya gotta love guys like him.
Anyway, I went completely over the high side figuring that I'll spent my 16th Crristmas out of 20 at sea. I'll cool down there.
I was in a rest stop grabbing a cup of joe an the background bullshit wished everyone a 'Happy Holidays'.
That's where I went militant.
"I want to wish every one of you people in this place a MERRY CHRISTMAS," I shouted at the top of my lungs. 'If you're not a Christian, that's OK, too. Come share in out holiday!!"
I recieved a standing ovation, plus.
Yeah. Plus. A family of three quietly approached me. Husband, wife and kid.
"We're not Christians," they said."But thank you for offering to share your holiday."
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
Of course, I got my cup of joe and got out of there because there is always one jerk that works for the state there that probably called the state police. I didn't think I'd get arrested, but I didn't need the hassle.
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