Update. My quest for the return of my birthday.

I have obtained the proper army personnel form and filled it out. I am requesting the return of my birthday which my First Sergeant took away from me many years ago. It has been mailed and likely is in the Pentagon now as if has been a few days. We'll see how that one goes.

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Seeing we're talking about the army today I seem to recall another stupid incident involving a female second lieutenant that was salute happy.

I passed her from a distance and she tried to reprimand me for not saluting her. I approached her and when I got to the appropriate distance I saluted and explained that the rules said salutes should be exchanges from a distance of 6 paces or closer and that I had been about 15 paces away.

She grumbled a bit and walked off in a huff.

Part two.

A month later I was detailed to take a young private named Linski to be out processed on a Chapter 11 or some damned thing. 

Linski was being administratively separated and was eager to get out.

I was required to be armed for reasons I can't fathom.

I made it clear to the higher-ups that I had no intention of shooting a dumb 19 year old kid that was only guilty of not liking the Army. I was surprised when my battery commander told me that my attitude was the reason I got the job. He told me that he agreed with me and that the reason I got the job is because he knew I wouldn't do anything stupid.

I drew an M-16 and carefully cleared it to make damned good and sure it was unloaded and stuffed the (loaded) magazine into my back pocket and buttoned it. Twenty round mags fit nicely into a fatigue back pocket.

I took the rifle and my 'prisoner' and I headed off to the admin building.

When we cleared the battalion area I threw the rifle at my prisoner and told him I had no intention of lugging it all over hell and that if he wanted to get out of the army then HE could carry the damned thing.

He shrugged and took the rifle and we walked along side by side.

Every time we saw someone that looked an officious clown he would get behind me and hold the rifle at port arms with a serious look on his face like he was ready to shoot me if I stepped out of line.

Then we passed the female lieutenant I had crossed sword with a month or so earlier and she asked why we hadn't saluted.

Linski popped to attention and told her he was on a guard duty detail and not supposed to salute officers and that I was a prisoner and therefore was not permitted to salute officers. She nodded.

Then she asked Linski what I had been charged with.

"Disrespect for an officer, Ma'am. He's facing a General courts-martial. He failed to salute an officer." The stone-faced way he said it made someone know it just HAD to be true.

She looked at me. "I recognize you," she said. "Looks like you're getting what you have coming."

Linski looked at her and said," By your leave, Ma'an. I have to get the prisoner there riki-tik."

We left and as soon as we got out of sight of her I snatched the rifle from him and said, "Give me that damned thing!"

I carried it the rest of the way.

When we got there I hung around until he got squared away and then we returned to the battery. I turned the rifle in and returned to duty.

A couple of days later I got sent somewhere else to do something I have long forgotten what. I crossed paths with the lieutenant again and because I was inside the proper radius I saluted. It was returned by her and in a condescending tone of voice she asked me how I had fared in my recent court martial proceedings.

I told her the case had been thrown out because I had three witnesses on my behalf and that the officer that had preferred charges against me was now being charged with issuing a false report.

From that point on she stayed the hell away from me.





To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY