"C'mon, Pic. Be a GOOD GUY."

In a pig's eye I will. Every time I hear that old saw I cringe because it generally means I am going to have to tell someone to do something anatomically impossible because someone is getting ready to try and take me for a ride.

Generally the person in question IS a good guy, a lovable enough character of sorts that you would just love to help out. Unfortunately there is generally something wrong with him somewhere on down the line.

Back when I was a young newbie in this business I pulled into a dock and the dockman hooked up the hose, got the discharge started and pulled out a 12 pack of beer and started drinking. I was aghast. Even back then I was smart enough not to get on the radio and say anything so I hooped ashore and wandered up to the main dock operations building and had a quiet word with someone about the fact that the dockman was well into his third beer and someone really ought to relieve him.

I didn't want anyone to get into trouble which is why I tried to be discreet.

What was I told? I was told "Just keep it under your hat, that's So and So and he's a real good guy."

I kept my mouth shut and when the transfer was over and the man was passed out in the dock shack I hopped ashore again and closed the shoreside valve (his job) and went back up to the operations building and reported that we were done and that So and So was passed out and wouldn't someone like to come and disconnect the hose?

"Would you be a good guy and please disconnect it?"

"What else do you want me to do to keep on the good guy list? Paint this operations building?"

"But So and So's such a good guy." he replied.

I called our office and told them nobody was disconnecting the hose. They made the necessary calls and a couple of guys showed up and disconnected it, and we sailed. I spoke to my captain and flat out told him I was no longer going to be a 'good guy'. He looked at me and grinned.

"Now you're learning," he said.

A couple months later I was no longer in training and I showed up at the same pier. So and So was there. I fired up the boom and dropped the hose on the dock and watched him hook it up. We got the transfer started and he opened a cooler in the back of his truck and pulled out a cold one.

"Stop right there," I said. "I was a good guy the last time I pumped off here. You have used up all of your good will last time I was here when you passed out."

"The boss doesn't mind," he said.

"I'm not going to call your boss," I replied. "I'm going to call the Coast Guard."

He paled.

'I'm not going to risk my license over you're stupid crap," I said. "Who is going to do your job if there is an emergency? If you think I am going to jail for you, guess again."

A few minutes later the boss showed up and I told him pretty much the same thing. "If he's such a good guy," I said, "Go drinking with him or tear up a whorehouse with him or take him bowling. That's what good guys are for."

I wasn't going to go to jail for this lovable slob of for that matter, anybody else. If being a good guy means risking my career and my freedom I am better off being a gold plated bastard. It is employment that keeps me from poverty. The boss knew it wasn't going to end here if he didn't end it so he pulled the guy off the dock and replaced him.

This little indident took place over 20 years ago and I have been there many times since. So and SO is no longer on the dock, which is fine by me. Truth is, the industry has cleaned itself up a lot over the past two decades since the Exxon Valdez/ Prince William Sound oil spill back in '89 and I suppose that is a good thing. A lot of sad sacks have left the industry and it has gotten a lot more professional. That IS a good thing.

Over the years I have actually been a damned good guy. I've helped out quite a few people and covered for some good men that have almost gotten themselves into hot water, too. I'm not really a bastard, but I am not a pushover, either.

The late Tip O'Neal once said, "To get along, go along." That holds only a certain amount of water. Things only go so far and although I will go along with a few things here and there I will draw the line well before things get out of hand because by then it is too late.

Even though I was told 'be a good guy' well over twenty years ago, I have not forgotten it and when someone hands me that line I still cringe and get ready to get into a donnybrook of some sort.




my other blog is: http://officerpiccolo.blogspot.com/ http://piccolosbutler.blogspot.com/