A while ago there was some kind of internet campaign telling people not to buy gas on a certain day so as to stick it to the Middle East countries by hitting them in the wallet.
While I do not think it takes a rocket scientist to explain the folly of such stupidity, I think that from time to time us rocket scientists should step up to the plate and explain things to the lesser mortals.
As you read this, you may be thinking, "So Piccolo's a rocket scientist, huh? How did he pull that off?"
Back in high school I was a member of the Rocket Club until some idiot in Boston decided that model rockets were fireworks and the school got a black eye for sponsoring illegal activities. Still, I had a few good years before the Bostonian stupidity of Communist Cambridge raised its twisted little head and ruined things.
(After the school rocket club broke up I continued my activities underground. Sometimes the local cop would swing by and watch.)
As a member of the rocket club I had to do various calculations, so I am a rocket scientist. Once a rocket scientist, always a rocket scientist. If you don't like it, find a taxidermist somewhere and stuff it.
So we have established my credentials and I am going to show why there are a lot of pretty stupid people out there and why they can not count.
A boycott gas on Tuesday movement is going to do nothing but give a gas station guy two fairly busy days sandwiched in between a pretty slow day because there is going to be a run on gas on Monday and Wednesday that will likely overcompensate for it.
The people low on gas are going to charge in there on Monday and stuff their tanks so they don't have to buy gas on Tuesday. The people that had gas and didn't have to buy any Monday are going to run to the pump on Wednesday to fill up after they boycotted the pumps on Tuesday.
When you add things up it is likely that they have bought the same amount of gas they normally do, especially when you average it out over several days.
After all, you have to throw in the fact that the people that generally buy ten bucks worth at a clip are going to fill up which means that during the three day period of Monday through Wednesday they are likely to have bought more gas than normal. Still, over a week or so things will average out.
In short, all of this stupidity of boycotting the pump on a given day has really not done a damned thing to hit the nasty old oil companies in the wallet.
I suppose that if you want to whack the l companies in the wallet you could simply go out and buy a car that gets good gas milage instead of a huge V-8 that gets single digit gas milage, but boycotting the pumps on Tuesday isn't going to make a damned bit of difference.
See? You have actually heard this from a real live rocket scientist.
On the other hand, I suppose that if you had paid attention in arithmetic class you might have been able to figure this out all by yourself and had something to be proud of. You wouldn't have needed the splendid services of a rocket scientist like myself.
Maybe after this I can go to Washington and explain to the various elected officials why you can't take in a trilion dollars and spend two trillion without having problems.
I can see the look on Nancy Pelosi's face as she sits there carefully taking notes and watching the pearls of wisdom of dribble out of Piccolo the Rocket Scientist's mouth as he teaches these congress critters what they should have learned in grade school.
The entire congress sitting there paying rapt attention to me as I explain the basics of simple arithmetic. Charlie Schumer on the edge of his seat, mouth open, catching flies. You could hear a pin drop except for when one of them raises their hand to ask a question about how subtraction works.
I don't think I'll call it subtraction, though. We'll start off by calling the process 'take aways' like my first grade teacher did. We have to make it easy for most of them.
"Two billion take away one billion is..."
Yes, I can see it now. Piccolo addressing a joint session of congress. CNN zooming in on this sea-bearded genius along with a whispered commentary. The announcer whispers that "Piccolo has just suggested to Joe Lieberman that he find a retired second grade school marm and get a little help."
Then again, maybe we don't need the splendid services of a rocket scientist such as myself. Maybe we can use a sewer worker's wife. After all, a lot of them seem to be able to do a pretty good job of managing a workers salary and raise his children and keep them fed.
Someone go find Ed Norton. Tell him Trixie is needed in Washington.
my other blog is: http://officerpiccolo.blogspot.com/ http://piccolosbutler.blogspot.com/
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