It's started here in the neighborhood.

I gotta love one of the guys here.

Arnold is an idiot that is constantly hiding behind his children. He uses them like a shield. He also runs off at the mouth half cocked all the time and is constantly worked up over everything he sees in the news and constantly forgets to engage the brain before putting the mouth into gear.

While most people around here, including a couple of dyed-in-the-wool liberals can't stand him very much, I have a different tack. I figure God put people like him on the planet for my personal entertainment.

Yesterday late in the afternon a neighbor, Dick got home early from work and saw me out in the yard picking up a small limb that had fallen off of a tree and I offered him a beer that he refused as he was going out later on that night.

"After the kids are in bed tonight I'll swing by for a snort," he said.

As we were yakking Arnold pulled up and took his ten-year old shield out of the car with him and the pair of them approached us. Arnold's kid sometimes plays with Dick's. Dick's kid actually merely tolorates Arnold's but they are in the same class together so I guess it's somewhat natural they see each other outside of the clssroom although when I was growing up there were a couple of classmates I dispised and kept clear of.

Anyway, Arnold knows Dick is a deerhunter because he once gave Dick holy hell for feeding his kid venison stew for lunch once when he was playing with his son. Apparently the kid loved it and went home to his dad and asked him to go deer hunting so he could get more. This happens sometimes.

As I write this I am making a venison stew in the slow cooker. I have a cholesterol problem and venison is on the list of good boy foods for guys like me.

Arnold opened fire on Dick. "Ya know, after this shooting in Connecticut I hope you keep those guns of yurs locked up," he said. "In fact I really don't like my son over there knowing there are guns in the house."

Dick knew where this was going. "I keep them all locked up in a safe, except for the duty carbine."

"What do you mean the duty carbine," asked Arnold in a dubious tone.

"I keep the duty carbine handy so as to be able to protect your son if the need arises. Lois knows how to use it, too. She's better than I am," replied Dick. "Incidentally I'm a little worried about your ability to provide security for my son when he's at your house."

"I call the police," declared Arnold.

"When seconds count, the police are only minutes away," I chimed in cheerfully.

Arnold didn't like that and I was getting tired of this incessant crap. I turned to Dick. "Save your breath," I said. "You can't fix stupid."

Then I turned to Arnold. "Last time I checked, this is my front lawn. I pay the taxes on it so the government can take my money and spend it on dumb stuff people like you think up. Put an egg in your shoe and beat it."

Arnold skulked off.

While I know Dick doesn't generally keep a duty carbine out, I liked his take on the issue. He's aware that thepolice are not responsible for your security.














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