It's still up and running and doing its job.
On site for the family wedding which is already a zoo as to be expected but this is a serious mess because everyoone is in an uproar EXCEPT for the bride to be. She's pretty cool under fire.
Last night I sacked out in a nieces apartment with people crashed out everywhere. It reminded me of a 60s crash pad but that's the way we run, I guess. Whatever it takes.
I think she's still upset over the time I passed her and her 2 kids off as mine a couple years ago to a gossip I met from my high school days.
Things are getting pretty vicious as every single person in the family has sidled up to her suggesting that her Uncle Piccolo perform the ceremony for her next summer.
I am NOT going to perforn the ceremony which is what I actually hoped for but the neat part is that my neice is tying the knot next July and the family now has something to ratpack her on.
Of course, they get blasted for even thinking of such a thing and they act hurt and tell her that I look good in a purple turban.
I even offered to wear an eyepatch and a gold tooth today with my turban at breakfast and acted all hurt when she adamantly refused my kind offer.
To make matters worse, her beau said that getting married by 'Swami Piccolo' was a great idea. More indignation and steadfast refusal.
What is funny is that when she was younger she kept telling us she was NOT going to become one of us and now a few years later she's in the middle of the melee duking it out with the rest of us.
My sis slyly said something to her and my niece shot right back at her. Bam! Headshot! It was funny watching sis turn red.
This family is lovingly brutal and sometimes a meal is like a night at the barricades. I guess it would be like the Danny DiVito/Rhea Pearlman family, but in fact underneath it all it's good old fashioned Irish love.
I wonder what the bride's tribe would be thinking if they saw even half of the melee that is going on now. Likely they would be mortified.
Another neice said ahe'd like to visit me this summer for a few days and I shot back that the week she suggested wasn't any good as Mrs Pic will be out of town then and I'd be damned if I'd share quarters with a 17 year old girl without Mrs. Pic around.
She said I could tell the neighbors we met on the Jerry Springer show and laughter ensued. Then someone suggested to her that when I was busy somewhere else she tell a passerby or two that she needs help escaping and that her face is on a milk carton.
That's all I need.
As I fish something out of my duffel my sisters both marvel at how I can operate out of such a small amount of stuff and come out smelling like a rose. Truth is it comes from years of being a seaman.
One of the things about the constant bickering between us that seems odd is how well things get done. This is a well oiled team that thrives on flexibility and communication.
I have not had so many texts and phone calls over such a short period of time. My cell is constantly going off with messages as is everyone else's.
Someone dropped one of the younger ones off to get their hair done and she was supposed to pick her up. Instead my other sister that happened to be in the area on a totally unrelated errand called and traded errands with my niece.
We would pick her up and my niece could pick up whatever it was. It's terrible efficient, incredibly coordinated and the best part is the bickering never missed a beat. My other niece even managed to ask her why she's not having me marry them. Another dig.
Truth is I really don't want to perform the ceremony, and would try skin out of it if I could but it gives us something fun to bicker about.
The unholy alliances I make with one sister to play against the other sister and then make another pact with the other sister against the one. This is truly Machiavellian and anyone watching this as an outsider would be appalled at me for this until they realize that the other two are doing the same to me.
I just got busted. Earlier today they commented on my classic highly shined panny loafers and how the classics never go out of style and how well polished they were. I gloated a bit and explained that buying a classic like that is a good investment.
Silly me. I took them off for a minute and then POW! Busted! They found the tag in them from Goodwill that said I only paid $1.95 for them.
That started a mixed melee as one sister started calling me a cheapskate and the other complimented me on being a pretty good bargain hunter. Two minutes later they both switched roles and I got called a cheapskate and a bargain hunter by both again, but they had swapped sides because I managed to point out that some accessory one of them had came from a bargain store.
You have to be quick and while I am not the full time winner, I do well enough to say I hold my own.
The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner went well and we presented a nice united front and played well together and everyone was reasonably impressed.
The rehearsal seemed to go normally as the guys goofed off a bit and the womanfolk took it seriously. Tomorrow the guys will be like good GIs and will full in and it's likely one of the women will do something dumb. Happens every time.
One of the things I did I was glad of is that when I had 45 free minutes I grabbed a burger as I knew it would be some time to rehearsal dinner. I picked Burger King as their brand of grease works well for me.
WHile I have the constitution of a goat and little bothers me I am not taking any chances. When I watched Prince William's wedding I noticed that a lot of the guests looked like they had to piss like a racehorse. I could have made a lot of money that day if I had a gallon mayonaise jar and a cloak.
The Third Lord of Cricklewood Green (or whoever he was)looked like he was ready to soil his pants and I don't want to have that feeling tomorrow.
Anyway what is amazing is that the rehearsal dinner was decided on several months ago and I think they screwed up and threw in an extra course which is OK. It was good eating. Still, it was a late supper so I was glad I hit the BK.
I mentioned my $1.95 penny loafers I snagged a couple of years ago. As soon as I bought them I soaked them overnight in water and wore them the next day while wearing heavy socks to break them in. They were actually new.
After they dried out I spit shined them and put them away. Today I was glad I did that as new shoes are rough and I can't slip them off at a wedding. They were pretty comfortable.
It's called doing your homework. I'm surprised the Goodwill tag survived to get me busted after the break-in I gave them.
I'm home now and getting ready to sack out and I have one hope for tomorrow and that is that the person hired to do the wedding shows up because if they don't I am going to have to pull a wedding ceremony out of my ass in short order.
Before we all sack out under the same roof tonight there is the usual gathering of electronics and wall worts are in every socket of the kitchen. It's cell phones, iPads and an electronic cigarette along with a few other odds and ends.
My cell phone got quite a workout today and I have never seen the battery drop like that. I'm beat and hitting the rack soon.
One thing I did do was tell the Most Beautiful Bride in the World that I would teach her to brawl with the rest of us. Her face lit up and it was something to behold. I'll make another Rhea Pearlman out of her yet!
Tomorrow I plan on sleeping in for a bit and cooking breakfast for everyone when I do get up and tomorrow the melee will likely reach a crescendo until about 1400 and will abruptly stop because the wedding is at 1500.
I suppose the experts would call us a dysfunctional mess but we're really not. We're a well oiled team.
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html
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