I am looking at the makings for a pretty good breakfast and it makes me grin.

Last night I figured I'd want beer waffles so I opened a beer and put it in a glass and left it to go flat. It was there when I woke up, it was flat and for some reason it reminded me of a short-lived relationship that ended when I moved out on her.

Actually, the break-up itself was a classic and people kidded me about that for years.

I was living in a small trailer in Kodiak close to the Anchor Bar. 

When I got fed up with her in the middle of the winter I fired up my pickup, hitched the trailer up, and pulled it ahead several feet.

Then I piled her stuff up in the bare patch in the snow and then drove the rig up to Fort Abercrombie and stayed there for a while.
She came home to find her entire home missing.

But I digress.

Her major malfunction is that she kept trying to save me from myself.

One night I opened a beer and poured it into a glass and put it out. I wanted beer pancakes for breakfast. When I woke up it was gone. I asked what happened to it.

 "I poured it out so you wouldn't start drinking in the morning," she sniffled.

I was angry so I grabbed the 'kitchen brandy' and poured a good dallop of it into my coffee, drank it silently and stormed off to the greasy spoon for breakfast. Before I left, I said, "There. I started drinking! Next time leave things alone."

Strike two took place when she found my condoms in my hunting box and threw them out. Kodiak is a rainy place and when I decided to hunt I'd stuck a condom over my rifle muzzle to keep the rain out of the bore.

Every now and then I'd use one to make wine with. They would be put on the neck of the water cooler bottle I used.

When I went looking for one for a friend that was headed out for deer I found them missing. I confronted her and was treated to more pouty sniffle action.

The last straw was when my pal Blaine left me a package of venison. He said he had left it with her. When I got home I asked about it.

"Oh, I threw it out. It hadn't been inspected by the government and I didn't want you to get sick." she sniffled.

I was kind and thanked her warmly and told her I appreciated her thoughtfulness and she smiled.

The next morning I split.

I had taken enough of someone that was trying to save me from myself.

It is one of my biggest peeves. While it isn't too bad when an individual does this because you can simply throw them out, when the government does it I get livid.

That seat belt in my vehicle is for MY safety. If I decide to put it on or not put it on that is my choice and I do not need the police to tell me what is good for me.

The truth is the government doesn't even know old Piccolo, much less care about him. Those seat belt laws are on the books for three reasons.

First to give the police one more thing to stop someone for so they can snoop.

Secondly they are there for revenue generation.

The third reason is that the government wants me to live because I pay a pretty hefty amount of taxes. When I did they will lose my tax money.

There are a lot of other things government does but they are too numerous to list.

I just wish people and governments would stop trying to do me favors I don't want done




To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY