I was feeling cruel and cowardly this morning when I went to cash a check.
I kept my eyes open for something, anything. A baby with a candy bar to take away. A handicapped guy on a wheelchair, an old lady on a walker, SOMMETHING. Anything.
OK, OK, it wasn't that bad, but you get the idea. I just felt like feeding a gullible old soul a crock of bull.
A couple of hours later, I got the OK to go cash a check. I cashed it and as I was leaving the bank. I spotted a pet store and simply couldn't resist.
I wandered in and put the Official 'Help Me" look on my face.
"May I help you?"
"Yes, Ma'am," I said, solomnly. "My nephew lost his eyesight in an accident and I'm looking for a guide animal for him."
"You mean a seeing eye dog?" she asked.
"A seeing eye cat, actually," I said, seriously.
"I never heard of a seeing eye CAT," she said.
'It's a recent thing," I explained. "Cats don't have to be walked several times a day, dogs do."
"How interesting. I never knew."
She then went on to explain that a number of local shelters keep their eyes peeled for intelligent yooung pups that they send out to trainers to become guide animals and gave me the names of s couple of shelters. I pulled out a notebook and a pen and took copious notes.
Then she asked me, "What do people with cats as guide animals do to protect them, say, from unleashed dogs?"
I looked at her and explained, " One of the first things Goveernor Rendell did when he took office was to sign legislation permitting people with guide animals to carry handguns to protect their guide animals."
'But they're blind, how do they see where to shoot?" she sounded worried.
"Ray Charles opened a school in Louisiana that teaches marksmanship to blind people," I explained. "Most people are unaware that Ray was an excellent marksman. In one of his movies he fired a couple shots over someone's head to chase him off. The scene was filmed with Ray using live ammunition."
"Yes, Ma'am," I replied. "Thank you for your time."
"Oooh! This is exciting! Tonight I'm going to look this up on the internet," she said.
I left and had a VERY hard time holding it together until I reached my pickup.