Why the guy at Perry wanted me to send a hamgram

One of the guys I have met that I feel for is the guy that asked me to send a hamgram home and tell his wife that he was running a day late because I heard part of the conversation and knew what was happening to him.


She was one of those people that always wants every single detail, none of which matter. All the wife really needed to know is simply that he was running late because he had entered another match.

While he may be a reader I will not embarrass him by reprating what I heard but it was on the same lines of some poor slob that has his car crap out on him after work.

Him: "Hello, Honey. I'm running late. The car broke down."

Her: "What happened?"

Him: "The coil cracked and I guess moisture caused it to short out."

Her: "How did that happen?"

Him: "I guess it just got old and cracked"

Her: "Oh, come now. Things like that just don't crack because they get old. You must have done something!"

Him: "I didn't do anything. It just cracked."
Her: "I don't understand."

Him "It cracked and let moisture in and shorted."

Her: 'What do you mean it shorted?"

Him: "Water got in and allowed the electrons to jump over to where they were not supposed to be. The little buggers just hopped across the wires and kept the coil from producing a spark to ignite the gasoline and run the engine."

Her: "How many electrons went where they were not supposed to be?"

Him: "Billions."

Her: "Name them."

Him: "What?"

Her: "Name them. I want to know who these people are"

Him: "They're not people, they're llittle bits of electrical energy."

Her: "I don't understand. They don't have names?"

Him: "No they don't have names."

Her: "Why?"

Him: "Because they are little bits of electrical energy."

Her: "I don't understand."

Him, frustrated: "Lessee, there's John, Joe, Bob, Tom, Harry, Bill, Mike, Louie, Lefty Moe, Dave, Harry...Oh, there goes Billy-Joe-Bob, Pete, Tim, Moe, Luis, he's a Hispanic electron, and Filipe, he's a Filipino electron. Comes from a nice family. Then there's Chris, he's OK I guess. Look, I have several billion left to go. Do you really want to know the names of evvery single electron that jumped the wire?

Her: "Well...."

Time to go on the offensive.

Him: I am going to be late because the car will not start. It's broken."
Her: "I..I...I...I don't understand."

Him: "You know what a car is?"

Her, angrily: "Yes, I know what a car is."

Him: "OK, it's like this. The car will not start. It is broken."

Her: Well...well...well...I...I don't understand."

Him: "What part of 'broken' do you not understand?"

Her, angrily: "I know what broken is!"

Him: OK, now put the two words together. Car, broken...car, broken."

Her, going through the roof: "I know what a broken car is! I'm not stupid!"

Him: "Ok, I have a broken car here and I am going to be late coming home from work."

Her: "Oh."

Now mind you, this woman he is married to has a degree from Vassarin biology. The concept of simple is totally alien to her. The concept of a simple situation causeing a problem is beyond comprehension to her. There simply must be more than a simple broken car. It has finally begun to sink in.

Her: "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Him: "I did. Now say "oh".

Her, finally coming to grips. "Oh."


my other blog is: http://officerpiccolo.blogspot.com/ http://piccolosbutler.blogspot.com/