Monday, June 30, 2014

I just read where a doctor

 had black woman try and play the race card on him when she found out her co-payment went up.

Apparently she claimed it went up because she was black. 

I do not know why the good doctor didn't show her a picture of the President-the man the health care system is named after- and ask her what color he is. 

That's is most likely what I would have done.

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Sunday, June 29, 2014

The legal profession isn't fooling me for a New York minute.

They are pretty much a self-perpuating racket.

One of my favorite yuks is the old saw about the lawyer that moved to a small town and starved.

Then another one moved in and they both got rich.

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Saturday, June 28, 2014

Behind every teenage anti-establishment fad you can find a number of fat guys in suits getting rich.

Which I have no problem with.

I remember the sixties with the tune in turn on and drop out attitude running through the country. Every little anti society hippie wore the badges of the era and the anti establishment movement.

Bell bottom jeans were the norm and the Levi's company made quiite a killing as did the various other companies keeping the little tykes in the proper hippie uniform of the day.

Little guys like barbers tended to lose out while the very corporations the hippies claimed to hate got richer.

The music of the era was another important part of the era and the musicians of the time kept the movement supplied both entertainent and anthems for the movement... for a price.

Musicians and record companies waxed fat and there were a lot of kids out there with $1000/ year record habits. It was a lot of money when you consider that a family income of $10,000 a year was considered big money.

Of course the record companies were certainly willing to feed the anti-establishment movement with albums simply because they knew they had a good market to feed.

Right now we have an 'Occupy Wall Street' movement out there bellyaching about the cruelties and unfairness of the system.

Keep your eyes open and watch what happens.

Somewhere along the line you'll see fat guys in suits getting rich off of the movement.

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Friday, June 27, 2014

There is a billboard

 I pass on the way to work that asks people to name seven different kinds of berries.

I can do a little better than that. Here's nine.











I miss Chuck Berry. He's 87 years old now and doesn't get around too much these days, but back in the day he played pretty good Old School Rock n' Roll.

And that is all I have to say for today.

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

OK, Suzie Q.

 You want to protect children and keep them safe.

You propose doing this by disarming responsible citizens so their firearms can't hurt children. Let's say for sake of argument you manage to do this.

Then what?

The truth is that now children are going to be a whole lot less safe because anyone that feels like it can do as they please without fear of repercussions. Yeah, sure, you can call the law and they'll arrive there after the fact and proceed to scrape up the mess.

There is a name for people that rely on the various police departments for their personal security.

They call them 'victims of violent crimes'.

For some reason there are a lot of people out there that thing they are morally superior for being victims rather than taking responsibility for themselves and their loved ones.

It wasn't long ago when an acquanintance was relative victimized by an assailant that injured him so bad he wound up with a steel plate in his head. The victim said he saw it coming.

I asked him if he felt that being armed might have kept him from being injured.

He replied that had he been armed the situation might have escalated and someone could have been killed.

I told him that if he had escalated the situation with a little firepower he most likely would not be walking around with a steel plate in his head. 

He looked confused.

The truth is that most likely nobody would have been injured had the victim pulled out some firepower. The thug with the pipe that did the hitting most likely would have cut and run.

When someone ups the ante to the point where there is too much for them to lose they generally fold. 

As for protecting children?

I wonder how many people would ever try victimize an armed Mama Bear with her cubs.

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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I just read

where some of the politicians in New York are upset that Remington is leaving and setting up shop in Huntsville, Alabama.

They complained that Alabama is stealing from them.

Well, DUH! Whoda ever thought!

Actions have consequences.

The very politicians that are crying about Remington leaving New York after a 200 year run of business there are the very same gang of idiots that passed the SAFE act outlawing a part of Remington's business. I would imagine taxes are a part of this, too.

How stupid can you get?

It would be one thing to run a large company out of the state and stand up to New Yorkers and say "Good riddance" to the company. That's one thing.

It's completely another thing to run them off and stand there agape. The latter is prima facia evidence of stupidity. Any elected official that complains about the Remington move is an idiot and should not be in office to begin with.

Actions have consequences and because the clowns in Albany passed the SAFE act some buisnesses have moved out. What did they expect?

When you interfere with a business and take their ability to make money away from them they move.

Huntsville right now has already started planning for Remington's arrival. The local schools are offering training programs in the machinist trades and gearing up for the opening of the Huntsville plant.

Ilion, on the other hand is likely bracing for a depression.

Of course every liberal knows that poverty and joblessness is a cause of crime. Crime in Ilion will likely rise and the very thing SAFE was designed to prevent will probably be the cause.

Then again what do you expect from New York liberals, anyway?

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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Headquarters batteries were generally pretty wild

 but in a different sort of way.

The firing batteries had a lot of basic cannoneers in them which means a lot of average guys. Headquarters batteries had a lot of specialists in them which meant that there was a higher percentage of the best and brightest assigned to it.

A Headquarters battery had surveyors and an Fire Direction Center in it. Along with a commo section and a few other odds and ends.

Surveyors are triangulators and the FDC guys are mathematicians. People that are not artillerymen really do not understand the calculations needed to put a round on target. The math involved is astronomical.

Things like bore wear of the guns themselves, the rotation and curvature of the earth and the gyroscopic motion of the projectile had to be taken into consideration. That's just a small part of it.
I'm not going to get into it here, maybe later.

Still, a headquarters battery tended to field the best and brightest young men that the artillery had.
It demanded the best and brightest officers the artillery had, too.

While the general get drunk and get into a fight downtown sort of thing was not as common in headquarters battery, one has to remember that we are still dealing with young men in their teens or earrly twenties. They were no different than any other group of young men. They raised hell every chance they got. The guys in HHB were a little more imaginative in the hell they raised.

Several years ago I met a German man that had been injured on the Russian front and had been ressigned as a guard at various Stalags. I asked him which duty was the most difficult. He immediately replied that shot down aviators were the most difficult because they were the best and brightest. They never stopped coming up with new angles and escape plans. He said they had to work overtime to keep ahead of them.
It was pretty much the same for HHB types.

When they raised cain it was a lot more imaginative than it was in the firing batteries.

I was going to post what a couple of the guys did one night down town but maybe I shouldn't. I don't know if the statute of limitations has passed.

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Monday, June 23, 2014

Yeah, right. Hillary is the same as we are.

She may fool a lot of other people but she isn't fooling me for a second.

She seems to want to lead us to believe that she's a regular Abraham Lincoln and grew up in a log cabin.

If she's so regular then how come she hasn't gone on some cooking show and shown us how she makes tuna noodle casserole?

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Sunday, June 22, 2014

One of the things that irks the hell out of me

It the way some people justify things that are just plain wrong.

Take the clown I met a while ago that is an Occupy Wall Street type. He was bragging about 'sticking it to the man'.

Apparently he had managed to steal some equipment from a telephone truck and bragging about how he had struck a victory for the common man or some other such baloney.

I guess he wanted to brag about how he was some kind of hero.

Of course, this didn't go as well as he had planned.

"So you're standing here bragging about breaking into a parked truck and stealing the tools that some working stiff uses to feed his family. Is that what you're bragging about? You're telling everyone here that you're a common thief, correct?"

He didn't like that very much.

"So you stole some working man's tools and didn't think for a second that he's going to have to report the theft and most likely the poor slob will get in trouble for it," I continued. "What's worse yet is that you're bragging about it."

He hemmed and hawed a bit.

"If someone broke into your house, car, whatever, and stole from you I would never hear the end of it," I continued.

I turned to leave and from the looks of the people around me I knew they were looking at this guy in a different light.

People try justify crimes with all sorts of excuses but the way I see it, if you take something that doesn't belong to you then you are a plain and simple thief.

In other news I just made a QSO with Andorra, an interesting country between Spain and France.

Andorra requires all men between the age of 21 and 60 to either own or have access to a rifle.

They are also the longest belligerent with Germany during WW1. They were not part of the Versailles treaty and technically stayed at war with Germany until 1939.

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Saturday, June 21, 2014

One of the things I have seen over the years is professional politicians that seem to move around a lot.

The Clintons seem now to be a New York family of sorts even though Bill was once the governor of Arkansas.

The Kennedys of Massachusetts seem to have gained a foothold in New York a while ago.

It seems that in a politicians career that they try to move around to where they can get their agenda pushed through.

The Founding fathers figured that the people would just send locals to congress for a term or two and then they would return to private life.

Not so anymore. Now we have career politicians.

This $shit just plain ain't right.

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Friday, June 20, 2014

I got my birthday back. The Pentagon can kiss my ass.

Here's part of the back story:I was actually 22 at the time.

I have also sent a form into the Pentagon a couple of months ago and not heard from them.

I found my old battalion is still in service but they are now a training battalion. No guns for them anymore. I also got their phone roster.

Now anyone knows that the key to a successful foray is to recon the AO. I got on the horn to a couple of the various S-1, S-2 and S-3 shops in BnHQ and gave one of them a call. A sergeant answered.

I explained what happened to me forty years ago and asked how to get in touch of the Headquarters Battery First Sergeant. I was informed that the new battalion format had no Headquarters Battery anymore. I would have to talk to the First Sergeant of one of the lettered batteries.

I asked for a suggestion for which battery's First Sergeant to ask for and he told me that he'd ask First Sergeant Gabon and gave me his number. I wrote it down.

I also asked him what the consensus of the Sp/4 Mafia would be in this instance. He told me to stand by a minute and in the background I heard him say, "You gotta hear this guy, Sir. He served in the battalion about 40 years ago. This is funny as hell!"

Less than a minute later he was back and said he handed me off to a Sp/4. I heard the sound of being put on speakerphone and I told him what was going on. He recommended First Sergeant Gabon. Two other voices chorused agreement.

The sergeant took the phone back and asked me why I hadn't called the Sergeant Major and asked him. I told him that my Sergeant Major was the kind of fool that worried about unbuttoned pockets in the middle of a firefight. The sergeant laughed like hell.

"You still know your way around and artillery battalion," said the sergeant. 

"See if you can buy me some time so I can get to Top Gabon before Eagle Six Actual gets wind of this. This is strictly an NCO thing," I said. "I don't want a bunch of officers getting involved and ruining it."

"Wilco," said the good sergeant. "Sir, you DO know your way around an artillery battalion!"

"Household Six thanks you. She's tired of being called a cougar at every family gathering. This ought to fix it," I said.

Two minutes later.

"First Sergeant Gabon," answered the phone.

So I proceeded to tell the First Sergeant the sad tale of woe and the case of the missing birthday and in the middle of the explaination I accidentally called him 'Top' and apologized.

"YOU man call me 'Top'. He said. "It would be an honor! You are making my day." Clearly he was enjoying himself.

"Thank you," I replied.

When I was done explaining how I needed my birthday back for social security and to keep my nephew from calling my wife a cougar and all the other good stuff he laughed.

Then he asked me about what my First Sergeant was like back in the day.

"Short of formal education and full of immense native wisdom," I replied. "And also had the most important qualification of all."

"What is that?" asked First Sergeant Gabon.

"He could easily beat the ever loving holy dog snot out of everyone in the entire battery with one hand tied behind his back." I replied.

"Birthday reinstated," laughed Gabon.

"Thanks, Top!" I said. "Incidentally I did my homework and you were deemed the man for the job."

"Oh?" he asked.

"I called battalion and asked the Sp/4 Mafia which First Sergeant to call and you were the unanimous choice," I said. "I asked for the guy with the biggest fedora and the widest lapels. The sergeant that answered the phone hooked me up with a couple of them."

"The Sp/4 Mafia recommended me? Wow! Thank you," he said.  I knew I had made his day.

"Thank, YOU, Top and have a good day," I said.

"I will, thanks to you," he replied and I hung up.

I now have my birthday back and in a few months I will stop being 22 and become 63 years old.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Thursday, June 19, 2014

A month or so back I wrote the G1 section of the Pentagon

to try and get my birthday back.

Back in the day my First Sergeant took it away from me as a field expedient to get headquarters off of our backs. I was accused of diddly bopping around with my hands in my pockets while trying to fish a quarter out of them to buy a Coke.

Someone gave me a copy of the personnel form and I filled it, sent it in and got no answer. My guess is the Sp/4 mafia opened it and threw it out.

Anyway, I want my birthday back and I guess I'll just have to try another tack. I found my old outfit's address and a phone number to get through to the First Sergeant there.

Right now it is too early to give him a call but I am going to as soon as I can. A First Sergeant took my birthday away from me and a First Sergeant can give it back to me.

We'll see how this one goes.

Stay tuned.  

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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Waffles this morning

Every now and than I opt for waffles as they are actually easier than pancakes as my waffle maker is a no stick kind.

I'm up early because a friend of mine needs a hand this morning and I want to make sure I have a good breakfast in me before the action starts.

Running fast this morning.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Ahh, yes. It's post time.

There is a section in the backyard that I didn't mow and it has been that way for almost a month. I did it for the rabbits that seem plentiful this year.

This year is a summer of rabbits and thistle. Especially the thistle. 

So far it has been a rainy summer and between the rain and shine things are growing. Three days ago I weeded the flower garden and it looks like I'm going to have to hit it again pretty soon.

The thistle has run wild, too. I'm tearing that up and watching it return. I have a friend that lives in a condo and has a little area outside she plants. This year she hasn't been able to and the thistle took over with a vengeance.

For a while the patch looked like something Morticia Addams would grow but the thistle bloomed and it doesn't really look all that awful.

My marigolds are coming along.

I have a few things to do today and I think I'm going to start as soon as I publish today's posts. I have grub to get and some household stuff. The cat hair must go.

 nmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnj cat across the keyboard.

The little guy is getting pretty slick these days come dinnertime.

I would cook my meal, put it on the plate, feed kitty and run like hell to eat fast so as to keep Kitty from sitting next to me and trying to steal from my plate.

Kitty has gotten slick. He knows his food will be there after he raids my plate so that trick doesn't work very well anymore.

Anyway, that's all for today.

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Monday, June 16, 2014

One of the things I believe is that the more government tries to help the more they hinder.

All they seemed to have done over the past few decades is screw up everything they touch.

Look at Social Security and the mess that it is now. Believe it or not, it was actually working until the early 60s when the Johnson administration plundered it ans spent the entire thing in under two years on failed War on Poverty programs.

The government is totally irresponsible with the money we pay them. As soon as they see a pile of it they immediately look at it and try and find a way to steal it and spend it foolishly.

Generally they give the money to people that are too lazy or stupid to make their own.

Giving money and power to those people in office makes about as much sense as giving teenage boys car keys and whisky.


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Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Sunday morning

I spent yesterday weeding the flower beds which is par for this year. It is going to be a wet summer if things do not change. It is one of those summers where everything will grow but a decent lawn.

Weeding was a bitch. It seems that the thistle are trying to take over the world this year. It would be easier to yank everything BUT the thistle and have an Addams Family garden. I could run around snipping the buds off of the roses also like Morticia Addams did.

The Marigolds look OK but I guess I got the small variety. A couple of years ago I planted from seed and they were like little trees. They were huge.

I suppose that if things stay like this I will have to mow the lawn every four or five days.

Even the deer are a little strange this year. I've seen them running through the yard for no apparent reason. That is a little strange.

I have a few things to do today. One of them is find my cell phone that seems to have mysteriously disappeared. I do not have a good feeling about this. My guess is that it is lost forever but I'll hunt for it today.

As I was writing the paragraph above something came over me. I got up and went over to the couch and lifted the cushion and there it was. Thank God. It must have slipped out of my pocket when I was watching TV with kitty.

I have a canteen cup that's about half full of change that I might cash in today. I'll think about it. Thew last time I did this I wound up with about $50. 

These days have been chilly in the mornings and I have only had one good summer sweat so far.  It makes me wonder about global warming. Global cooling seems to be more like it in the Pittsburgh region. 

One of the things I notice about the hypocrisy in the hippie types is that they want to tell OTHER people what to do. At Lowe's I ran into some hippie chick that gave me an unsolicited lecture on the evils of Roundup weed killer, which I seldom if ever use. I was looking at the ingredients on the bottle when she gave me the lecture.

Anyway I saw her with one of the particularly nasty brands of insect killer in her basket. My guess is that ants give her the heebie jeebies and she found them entering her house.

Two-faced twit. She is what we used to call a D.C.I.T. when I lived in Kodiak. I won't tell you what the acronym means.

ANyway, that's today's post.

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Saturday, June 14, 2014

Yesterday was very hard on me.

Yesterday I wrote about the jerk down the street griping about the construction going on a couple doors down.

Shortly after the old bastard left, the guy renovating the house showed up with a small crew and shortly after a concrete truck showed up and they began pouring a nice looking concrete walkway.

They did a great job but this is where things got hard for me as I have not grown up yet but have to act like I have.

There isn't a man alive that hasn't walked past fresh concrete and wanted to put his initials in it. Men may say they have grown up and put their childish thoughts away but for the most part these men are liars. It is an instinctive thing for men, much like dogs marking their turf on fire hydrants

Of course, a child will do such a thing ans a man won't but they still think about it.

Rather than torment myself I simply went shopping for a few things and when I got home the concrete had likely set up pretty good.

My guess is that they will remove the forms tomorrow and fill in the dug out part with fresh dirt.

This guy is going whole hog on the place but is taking his time. It is going to be worth the wait.

I just found the DVD 'Song of the South' that I was planning on watching. I forgot to take it to work with me as I was planning on watching it at sea. I'll watch it and report on it.

Yesterday I saw a 12 year old kid wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with "A goal without a plan is a dream" which seems pretty cool to see on a kid that age. He's goin' places.

In other gnus, I got a pretty good steak and plan on having it tomorrow night.

That is all.

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Friday, June 13, 2014


The old goat down the street was going for his daily walk. I wish he would start his walk in the other direction because he is a pain in the ass.

Anyway he saw me and started griping about the house a couple down and across the street. It's owned by a small time contractor and it is his spare time project, meaning he sweats his ass off every weekend from sunrise to well after dark every weekend.

The old bastard was griping that the guy was taking too long to get the work done.

"Blind and stupid is no way to go through life, Pops," 

He got pretty upset when I sad that and demanded an explanation.

"Ever been in that house since he bought it? I asked.

He hadn't.

The man had gutted it and entirely rebuilt it. New plumbing and new wiring, everything up to snuff and up to code. Outside he had already some some serious landscaping and there is more to come.

All of it First Class work.

I told him that if he couldn't see what the place was going to become he was blind and stupid.

He got angry again. He complained that the guy was taking too much time to get the job done.

"He's a small time contractor," I said. "He works spare time, evenings and weekends and works like a dog. Give him a break."

"Yeah, but,"

"But what?" I interrupted. "You heard someone stole some highway yellow paint from the city again?"

That got his attention because a while ago someone poured about 10 gallons of paint on his lawn. When he cried to me asking why someone would do such a thing I told him that the kids likely did it to give him something to do instead of being a pain in the ass.

He started to get really upset and I pointed out that he would be a wise man to be patient with the contractor and grateful, too. After all, the place could have been bought by a house flipper and would be basically unimproved.

When someone is making your neighborhood better shut up and let him.

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

I am home now and have a bunch of stuff to take care of

Today I will become a plumber and fix a leaking pipe.

 I also have a FUBAR computer to deal with.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

While visiting my niece and nephew

 about 6 years ago I encountered someone from my high school days. Apparently she remembered me and recognized me. For the life of me I didn't recognize her.

She asked me what I had been doing all these years.

I was feeling sarcastic so I spun a pretty good yarn.

Jailed for a murder I didn't commit, I spent 19 years in a West Virginia penitentiary before the DNA evidence exhonorated me. As compensation for jailing me wrongly they gave me a portion of the state number plate business as I had worked there. About the time I was released they had to privatize it because it became illegal to have convicts working for the public.

By that time my wife and kids had left me and refused to even talk to me. I had to write them off.

I knew 54 was a little late to start over again but I decided to anyway. If you look over there you can see my wife and two daughters. 

I pointed at my niece and her two, caught her eye and waved. She raised her voice a bit and asked, "Got everything you need?"

I nodded.

Then I took my leave, went over to my niece and we left. As we were leaving I saw the woman pull out a cell phone and I just knew she was calling someone to say, "Guess who I just met..."

Not a bad yarn considering I had no warning. A pretty good hipshot.

I told my niece what I did and she shook her head and seemed a little miffed. When she told her mother (my sister) she got nothing but laughter for an answer. Her brother laughed, too.

No prisoners in our family.

The real fun over this incident came about a year later when I got an invite to reunion 40.

I called my niece and asked her if she'd go to the reunion with me and let me pass her off as my wife. Bring the kids.

Of course, she adamantly and indignantly refused.

When her brother called and asked her to 'Help out her Uncle Pic" she refused.

When her mother called and asked her the same thing she realized she was being rat-packed and told us all where to go. I suppose she got over it instantly. You have to admit it was sort of funny.

As it ended, I was at sea for reunion 40. I was slated to come but my work sked changed at the last minute. I was bummed. Maybe it was for the better.

Anyway, I have posted that reunion 45 is coming up and have posted a few bright ideas for my arrival there, none of which I am going to use. I'll probably just arrive and have my nephew drop me off and pick me up quietly.

Still, for the next couple of months I'm going to have a little fun and post a few half-baked ideas for showing up at the reunion.

Fast-roping out of a helicopter into the parking lot, parachuting in. Landing an ultralight in the parking lot. The possibilities are endless.

Incidentally, the hot babe draped on my are isn't all that too far fetched. Mrs. Pic can look pretty damned hot for her age if I could get her to doll up.

While I don't think there would be daggers coming out of the eyes of my female classmates like there would be if I showed up with a hottie half my age, there sure would be looks of envy. She looks pretty damned good for her age. Real good.

Sometimes I think I ought to bring her. I can hear her telling someone that she met me as a wildman, which she did. I was a shaggy being, close to being a total savage when we met. 

She could tell people that she had to teach me to live in a house again and that in exchange I taught her to live on a sailboat.

I was at sea doing a sailboat delivery for reunion 20 and at sea fishing for reunion 10.

I think I was lucky to miss 10 and 20 because it seems to me that 10 would have been a bunch of boasting about new careers and new babies.

If I recall I had a couple of months notice for reunion 10. I was in Kodiak at the time and met a couple of French travelers. I sent my regrets by having the Corsican travelers send the letter to Corsica for reposting. My return address on the letter was a French Foriegn Legion barracks. The 2e REP (les paras) was and still is stationed there in Calvi.

At that particular time I had no interest in going. I figured then that it would be nothing but a brag fest. I suppose I hadn't mellowed out by reunion 10. 

Twenty would likely been a bunch of career bragging and I did get word that one buffoon dragged a twenty-ish year old girlfriend along and managed to outrage some of the women.

Forty-five seems like it ought to be a pretty good reunion to go to because by one's 60s things have settled down. The kids are up and raised and jobs and careers are winding down. Likely I'll have to listen to stories of grandchildren, though.

You're likely to hear about successes, but along with this you'll hear of failures and maybe get a better rounded story of people's lives.

I do know some of my classmates are retired and in a lot of instances I think that's a waste of talent. I won't get into that here except to say that they could be working in their fields and doing good by bringing their life's experiences into play.

Actually when you get down to it, I will likely be walking into a group of total strangers. None of us are even remotely close to being the people we are 45 years ago.

Oddly enough I can count four that I know of off the top of my head that became teachers. My guess is that none of them taught math or science but I may be wrong.I would also guess they are now drawing pensions.

I had best keep my mouth shut with them, though. I blame an awful lot of what's happening now in this country on people like that. Liberals that went into teaching have done a lot of damage to this country economically.

I most likely disagree with almost all of them in the areas of social programs, taxation, government intervention, gun control and big government in general. 

Oddly enough, though they would find me in agreement as somewhat of a social liberal in that I consider an awful lot of things to be none of government's business. Truth is I think both parties suck.

There are a small handful of people I really want to see. One of them is the kid that lived across the street when I was growing up. We were constant companions when we were little but about halfway through junior high we went different ways. This is actually only curiosity. 

There are a couple others, but really only a few.

Still, I'm going to have some fun with this until it happens. My fertile mind can conjure up some pretty off-the-wall scenarios for arrival. 

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Hillary, you were SO poor!

Hillary Clinton siad that she and Bill were broke when they left the White House.

Very Interesting.

I wonder which bridge the Clintons moved under when they vacated 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

Or did they move into a homeless shelter?

Perhaps they sacked out on the couch of some senator or Democratic party official for a while until they could get back on their feet.

I wish Hillary would tell her story in a little better detail. It would be interesting to hear.

Truth is people like that have never had to do anything to take care of themselves like the rest of us. They don't know what being broke is.

Yet some of us believe them when they say they have the 'common touch'.

In a pig's ass they do! They don't know squat about what the average guy does to make ends meet. Instead they keep demanding more and more from us.

I'd just bet Hillary can't make a tuna noodle casserole to save her fat ass.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Monday, June 9, 2014

Proposed Craigslist ad.

Trophy wife needed for high school reunion.

You know the drill.

It's been 45 years.

I was the guy that got put into the big football game because of the 'everybody's got to play in the game' rule.

I caught the pass but tripped over a shoelace at the 3 yard line and we didn't get to go to State. I got blamed for it.

The job in the shoe store never went anywhere.

Wife left me, kids hate me. She even took the dog. The only one in the family that liked me and she took it.

Hair fell out, weight packed on and now I kind of look like Danny Divito.

Picked on at school because I took a different tack and didn't fit in. Bullied by the class bully for all four years.

It's been 45 years since I graduated and I want some payback.

Looking for a topheavy little hottie half my age squeezed into a little black dress to drape on my arm for my 45th reunion.

I want every woman in the room looking at you with daggers in their eyes and every man standing there inside a pup tent.

Ability to strut your stuff down through the geriatric vegetable ward and make catherters pop off takes you straight to the head of the line.

Oh, yeah. One other thing. Don't spill anything in the Ferrari because it's a rental.

I'm not going to post this one as much as I would like to because my email box got stuffed the last time I posted a sham ad.

Besides if someone recognized me and rubbed it in Mrs. Pic's face she'd be rightly upset. It's not fair to her.

A while back I posted that I had a '60s B-52 survival kit for sale and listed all of the contents in Major Kong's kit that was seen on the movie 'Dr. Strangelove'.

I guess most people picked up on it but it went over a lot of heads and I got a few emails asking me if I'd part the kit out.

Someone wanted the .45 and a couple junkies wanted the drugs.

Several people answered the ad and thought it was pretty funny because they recognized it right off. The tip-off was that I said I was willing to trade the kit for a pretty good weekend in Vegas.

Still, if anyone wants to copy it and post it on Craigslist, feel free to. In fact if I was single I WOULD post it for the hell of it.

A couple of years ago I wrote a whacked out personal along a similar vein of pathos and put it on a board for anyone that wanted it.

A couple of guys posted it and reported getting numerous hits and a couple of guys actually got dates.

Feel free to put in on Craigslist.

You might even make the 'Best of Craigslist' column.

Incidentally if you don't remember the survival kit check list scene here's a link to refresh your memory.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Sunday, June 8, 2014

One of the things that amuses me is when

some idiot that buys a house next to an airport or military base starts to complain about the noise.

Personally the I truly believe that the army promoted me to E-5 because they realized what kind of grief former corporals have caused throughout history and they were looking at preventing a major war or three.

Of course, making me a general was DEFINITELY out of the question. They most likely knew what kind of grief that would cause them.

I suppose they should have just left ma a PFC but realized their mistake when they made ma an E-4. I went fro E-4 to E-5 in record time.

As a base commander I would likely keep a company sized unit on alert and ready to fall into formation at a moment's notice. Along with this I would have a few friends in the local press handy to show up on short notice.

Picture this: Joe Newly Moved In shows up to gripe about the noise that keeps going on over his new dream home.

General Piccolo asks him to come back the following day and instantly orders a couple of hot fighters to knock a hole in the sky over the griper's house at 0300 that evening. 

A couple of fighter jocks give the place a good buzzing and rattle his windows half out of the frames.

The following day the griper shows up and is met by the company sized formation, brought up in front of it and hears the words, "Attention to orders!"

"Joe Newly Moved in is hereby awarded the Air Force whiner and stupidity medal in accordance with the East Muleshoe Air Force Base policy for sniveling and whining above and beyond the call of duty."

General Pic then pins the medal on the guy, kisses him on each cheek with all the local press cameras clicking away taking pictures for the local press.

With any luck the wire services will pick up on it and maybe a video will go viral.

General Piccolo then turns to the formation, dismisses them and walks off. 

That is why I never made it to general officer rank. The army may be crazy but it is clearly not stupid.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Saturday, June 7, 2014


It has been a couple of months and the Army has not given me my birthday back. I am, I suppose, still only 22 and coming close to retirement.

I am still a 22 year old stud muffin married to a 62 year old woman.

Hmmm. My old outfit has transferred but is still operational. It still exists. 

If the Army G-1 won't answer me, I think I may have to go straight to successor of the man that took away my birthday.

I remember that when we got a new Top Kick he started off by giving everyone a pretty clean slate.

Maybe a letter to the present First Sergeant will get me my birthday back.

I think I will start writing one now.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Friday, June 6, 2014

Today a conversation is going to take place

 and I know how it will go already.

A while back I was buying a do-hickey to keep me from turning off a certain light by accident. The clerk at Lowe's was nosy and asked me if my grandchildren were coming to visit.

It was none of her business so I decided to toy with her and told her that I was a first time father at the age of 62 because I married a younger woman.

Of course, when people start nosing around they do not generally let up. She asked me how old my wife was and to her horror I told her that my wife was getting her driver's license next week and when she gets out of high school we're going to have a dozen more babies.

Of course it was and is a crock. My wife is about my age and I am 62 but the nosy clerk didn't know it.

What is funny is the woman in line behind me had one hell of a hard time keeping a straight face. She knew what I was doing and actually played along telling me to enjoy fatherhood while the babies were still so young and sweet.

I paid for my stuff, slowly walked off and the woman caught up with me and laughed and said I was evil. Funny as all hell, but evil.

My nephew and his wife just had a child and I am coming up soon to visit them and the following conversation is likely to take place shortly.

"Hey, when I get there can I have my picture taken with Miss Sally?"

"Sure, why not," he'll reply.

"Can you get a high school junior or senior to stand next to me?"

"Wait a minute.What's this all about?"

I'll remind him of what happened in Lowe's and he'll laugh like hell and say, "How about with my wife? Will that work?"

"Certainly not," I'll reply. "She's too damned old."

"Too old?! She's not even close to thirty yet! I dunno how the wife is going to like that," he'll say, dubiously.

"We'll give her a copy and when she shows it to her friends they will most likely laugh like holy hell. You gotta admit it is pretty outrageous."

"That it is but what I expect it of you," he'll reply.

"Besides, I got a high school reunion coming up and I ought to get great milage with a picture like that. All of my classmates are grandparents now and it'll outrage most of the women and the guys'll call me a stud."

"High school reunion, huh? Last one you tried to con my sister into going with her kids!"

'Yeah, but I never made it. Can you drum up a high school junior of senior to pose as my new wife?"

"Why not a freshman or sophomore?"he'll ask sarcastically.

"What do you think I am? Some kind of pervert?"

"Yes. Now let's see...There's the girl that watches our dog every so often....She's about sixteen."


"Look, the wife is not going to allow this and I'm not going to bother asking her," he will reply. "She'll let you have your picture taken with Sally. That is about it. Then I'll photoshop someone onto it for you and show it to the wife. She'll think it's funny."

"Save a copy for your mother."

"Of course. Mom will laugh her ass off! I told her what you did to that clerk at Lowe's and she damned near died laughing!"

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Thursday, June 5, 2014

One of the things I like about working at sea

 is that there are a lot of guys that pick up quickly on things.

The cell phone chargers are one thing that comes to mind. One of my shipmates has one with a couple of different ends on it and plugs it in as soon as he comes aboard. It's great as it reduces the number of wall warts needed to keep everyone's personal communications up. 

He generously shares it with everyone else on board and makes life easier for everyone.

Little things like that create a harmony on board and cut down on bickering.

Tonight I looked at my cell phone and saw it needed charging. I looked at the wire that fits my phone. Someone else was using it but his phone was fully charged so I unplugged his and plugged mine in. It's charging now.

If the phone that I found being charged wasn't fully charged I would have simply waited my turn.

It wasn't always that way. Once I plugged my phone into an unused charger and got a lecture from the owner on property rights. I agreed with him and told him it would never happen again. It didn't. 

Of course, he wasn't a very happy camper when I told him to move his charger so I could use the outlet. I suggested he would be a whole lot happier plugging his wall wart into an outlet in the generator room.

I generally do a lot of the grub shopping for the boat because the crew flies into town for crew change and I drive. 

I figure that if I have to go shopping for myself, I might as well go for the other guys involved and it works out pretty good. It saves them a hassle and in turn they do most of the cooking.

There are an awful lot of cases where people have rights and can stick to them but it's going to hurt them to do so. You have to think a bit and be flexible.

The guy that was ordered to move his wall wart to the generator room just screwed himself by not looking out for his shipmates and trying to make life easier for them.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Wednesday, June 4, 2014


of my favorite things to hear is when an idiot tells me, "It's OK. I know all the cops."

I heard that one a while back from someone I was giving a ride to under strange circumstances. A friend asked me to run him home. This guy was a shifty sort. He was related to my friend and my friend had his car in the shop at the time.

 I was tooling along at legal speed and this shady customer said it was OK for me to speed up because he knew all the cops.

I dropped him off and forgot about it until the next day when I ran into one of the few cops I do know and mentioned what had happened the previous day.

The cop asked me who the guy was and I told him.

"He does know us all," said the policeman.

"He does?" I asked, somewhat surprised.

"Sure does," replied the cop. "I know him from arresting him for drunk driving, Smitty knows him from a domestic call, Deegan and Klien both got him for public intoxication and Cinzano hauled him in for stealing milk crates behind a supermarket."

"I guess he was right," I answered, dryly. "He DOES know all the cops."

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

I seriously wonder if I would answer the nations's call to arms these days if something broke out. It's quite possible I would not.

Right after the Dolittle Raid on Japan the media asked how the Air Corps pulled the mission off. Of course, today everyone knows the Dolittle Raiders flew off Hornet but FDR decided to protect the sailors and ship.

He told the media that they attacked Japan from our secret base in Shangra-la. Roosevelt had enough decency to keep the details under his hat because he knew the Japanese would be spiteful and go after Hornet with a vengeance.

We now have an administration that doesn't seem to give a damn about the lives of our service people.

Right after the Bin Laden raid none other than Vice President Biden flapped his trap and let the world know that the unit that nailed Bin Laden was Seal Team Six.

A couple of months later Al Quida got their pound of flesh when they ambushed and shot down a chopper killing a number of members of the team responsible for the Bin Laden raid.

Biden should be in jail for that one. He gave away classified information simply to get his name in the papers.

Just a couple of days ago none other than President Obama secured the release of a questionable American prisoner in Al Quida hands. It seems that a number of people that served with the man feel he was not a prisoner as such, but more like a deserter.

We exchanged 5 Al Quida terrorists out of the holding facility in Gitmo for this questionable soldier.

First of all it has been our policy not to deal with terrorists. It only encourages them. In the long run this endangers our people, both in and out of the service. When terrorists know they can't cut a deal generally don't bother taking hostages. It's not profitable.

President Obama just took it upon himself to decide to deal with terrorists, a decision patently against policy. As a result he has endangered citizens and service people, both at home and abroad.

It is one thing to join the service and serve for leadership that cares about you and another thing to serve for someone that looks at your life as an opportunity for political gain.

After putting the lives of our service people overseas in greater danger by negotiating for the release of a soldier that was reportedy substandard to begin with, I can see how the attitude of the average GI can turn 180 degrees. I can see why he would want out.

While it isn't likely that they are going to ask a 62 year old has-been, if they do ask me to serve the answer will probably be an emphatic no. I do not want to serve and endanger my life under leadership that is willing to give my life away simply for political gain.

I can see where GIs would want to get out. 

I suppose if I were a Marine guard stationed at the White House I would probably do a good job of representing the nation by being a good parade ground type guard. On the other hand, I sure wouldn't jump on a grenade for the present administration, either.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Monday, June 2, 2014

One of the things I plan on doing this summer

 is to try and get the soles of my feet as hard as they were when I was a kid growing up.

They'd be soft about this time of year but by the Fourth of July they were pretty damned tough. By the beginning of August I could walk across just about anything barefoot.

I can remember the heat under my feet as I walked barefoot across blacktop in the middle of July and recall that it just didn't seem to register much. At least not as much as it did on Memorial Day weekend.

Of course, by Memorial Day I had likely been running around barefoot for the better part of a month.

Anyway, this summer I think I am going to go barefoot quite a bit. It's good to let one's feet breathe.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Sunday, June 1, 2014

busy these daze

For the next couple of weeks or so the posts will most likely be short and sweet as I am snowed under with a lot going on. Making a living comes first.

Someone has asked me why I post daily here and seeing he is about 24 or so, Iooked at him seriously and said, "A lot of the younger people read this blog. I write it to keep them busy. Anything I can do to keep a youngster off the streets and out of the pool halls is a positive contribution to society."

My mate, standing behind the kid snickered.

Truth is I don't have a clue but it does give me a pretty good vent. A good vent is important and everyone actually has one except for the stupid few that keep everything bottled up until they explode.

The few stupid ones generally blow up and make life truly miserable for the rest of us.

Freedom is a two way street. If you don't want to see something, don't look. If you do, go ahead and look. It is your choice.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY