One of the very few port captains that was a real dud (most were pretty good) threatened to fire me in front of several people. He was just trying to flex his muscles.
I lit a smoke and calmly looked up at him and said, "You can't fire me. After all, slaves are sold."
In a 30+ year career I had one other jerk that threatened to can me.
He didn't get very far. I went for broke. "You don't have the authority to fire me. They took that away from you because they figured out that you would throw competent mariners under the bus to cover your own incompetence."
I guess it was true because he just stood there agape and stormed off.
Someone recently asked me why I was wearing a pink T-shirt. "Are you gay? Is it for breast cancer?"
"No," I replied. "It's the same color as Pepto-Bismol and it serves to remind me to be careful of what I eat or I'll have to drink another two quarts of the stuff."
He didn't know what to say. I can be downright dry.
Of course it was a bold faced lie because they don't call me "Old garbage gut" for nothing. I can still eat almost anything. Even stuff that would make a goat puke. Then again, my gut isn't what it used to be. It's gotten stronger which is weird. It's probably supposed to get weaker as one ages. Whatever. I'm going to ask the maunfacturer when I meet up with him.
Still, I think it was a pretty good answer on such short notice.
Come to think about it, the other day I scraped the green stuff off of....Never mind the details, it went through me without a hitch.
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this:
http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY
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