because I decided that I wasn't going to fry myself to a crisp this summer.
A couple of tours ago I decided that I wasn't going to fry myself in the sun, which I generally decide every year since I got out of basic training back when I signed up to serve with Colonel Roosevelt in Cuba. Army baseball caps at the time were just about the worst protection from the sun you can imagine. My ears blistered constantly. Ever since I have generally worn a hat with a brim on it for the summer.
I looked at my salty old boonie crusher this year and broke it out, but a trip to K-Mart had me pass by a bargain bin and for the sum of two bucks I saw a straw type hat and just knew it would breathe better than the old boonie hat. The brim is about six inches wide. I snagged it.
My original plan was to get one of those Amish straw hats, but those are damned expensive at the Amish feed stores. I'd just bet there are two prices on them, but I digress.
The K-Mart special was actually a woman's hat, of the type you see fat women wear at the beach and to hold it on during any winds one might run into there was a flowered scarf, which I knew I could replace with a piece of cord and masculinize it a bit.
Of course, when I broke it out there were the obligatory hoots and whistles, which is to be expected.
One of the guys offered to buy me a nice feather boa to go with it.
"Pink!" I shot back, "I like pink!"
"I'll snag one when I get to New Orleans," he said, and I'll bet he's going to be good to his word.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked my relief.
"Hang it up in the galley as a conversation piece," I answered. "Betcha every dockman asks about it. I'll tell them it's mine and tell them to leave it the hell alone."
Part of that, of course is a lie.
Yes, the boa will hang in the galley, but when anyone asks, and they certainly will, I will simply tell them that I don't know a damned thing about it and that it was left by the other crew. Of course, rumors will abound.
As I relieved the other crew, the offgoing guy asked me, "What if they don't have pink?"
I looked at him and grinned, "Pick out any other color that you think would look good on a stripper named Bubbles," I said.
my other blog is: http://officerpiccolo.blogspot.com/ http://piccolosbutler.blogspot.com/
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