Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Piccolo's trash and seasonal dis functionality.


Generally between Thanksgiving and Christmas I suffer a day that seems totally wierd when I wind up in a place full of depressed people that are whacked out of mood elevators.

It generally seems to happen around the 15th of December but it hit me early this year while grub shopping for the boat.

Between Thanksgiving and New Year's any cap can tell you that a lot of violent domestic arguments take place, one hell of a lot more often than the rest of the year.

Anyway, I was in front of the spice shelves looking and quietly muttering because as usual they are either out of or have well hidden what you are looking for. Enter Joe I'm in the Holiday spirit. He looked at my scowl and started telling me to cheer up because it was the Christmas season.

"Where's your Christmas spirit?" he asked.

"It's in a green bottle that says Jamesnon's on it and it's under the seat of my pickup. Want a snort?" I answered. "If you don't, then go home and beat your wife and leave me the hell alone!"

"Who do you think you are?" he demanded.

"I am The Most Interesting Man in the World," I answered. "Now go buy a couple of six-packs of Dos Equis, pound them down and go pass out quietly somewhere."

He walked off in a huff. Behind me I heard laughter and I turned to see a well dressed woman. She was actually a pretty classy woman and looked like she sure didn't belong in WalMart.

She saw me look and said, "Seems like there is someone else that doesn't really enjoy the season."

"Marry me," I replied. "I hate this time of year."

"Me, too," she said. "And no, I won't marry you."

"If you had accepted the offer, I would have retracted it. I would never marry anyone that is stupid enough to accept my offer," I said back. She laughed.

A few minutes later I heard another person dealing with the system. He was singing along with the CHristmas music that was piped in but the tone in his singing voice made it perfectly clear he was sick and tired of it already even though it was only a couple of days after Thanksgiving. He was likely burned out on hearing it because in some places it starts the day after Halloween.

I joined him for a verse or two making my tone clear that I, too was like him and he grinned at me appreciatively.

In other news a guy at a building supply house has given me the box from a 3 KW generator that he unboxed for use as a demo and that is a good thing because this is going to he the 14th year running that I get ripped off in a mall parking lot.

I'll put a couple of cinder blocks and some scrap iron in the box for weight and then I'll use the rest of the space to get rid of all sorts of rubbish and nasty stuff, and on top of that I'll add the contents of the garbage I have been been saving in a sealed pail I keep behind the furnace where it percolates. This stuff goes into a trash bag so the box doesn't smell.

Then I tied the box up with ribbon and add a nice bow.

Then I remove the armor lid from the bed of my pickup and put the box in the back and leave it there unless the weather acts up I which case it gets stored in the garage until the weather breaks.

Generally about 10 days before Christmas the box gets stolen.

A few years ago after it was stolen I saw a cop drive by and flagged him down and reported the theft and he just laughed like hell as he had a mental picture of the thief taking the box into his shop and opening it.

I think that was the year I used a lawn mower box and I would imagine the guy that stole it planned on selling it for a couple of hundred bucks only to find out that he was the proud new owner of Piccolo's trash, complete with a bag full of rotten fish.

I would imaging I'll get ripped off again this year and when I do I will post it here.



my other blog is: http://officerpiccolo.blogspot.com/ http://piccolosbutler.blogspot.com/

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