Thursday, October 4, 2012

I screwed up on the PA turnpike.

. My E_Z pass had fallen off and I didn't realize it until I was in the slot. I saw a trooper in the waiting area so I just drove through and drove up alongside him and explained what had just happened.

"I like to face up to things as soon as possible and get them behind me," I said.

He smiled. "What taught you that?" he asked, grinning.

"Ahh, a coupla Halloweens ago I got all drunk up, grabbed my chain saw and hacked up about six or eight of the damned teenagers that were out soaping windows. When I realized what I had done I went straight to the police station and turned myself in. The cop appreciated my honesty so much he just wrote me a summons for disorderly conduct and I got a $50 fine," I replied.

He chuckled.

"It was the $2 parking ticket I tried to skip out on that really made it sink in. I wound up with a hickory shampoo, kissed the pavemant and got my head cracked against the roof of the police car a coupla times. Then the cop pulled strings with the judge and I got 90 days."

He busted up laughing when I said that.

"I wish you'd teach my kids to face up to things," he said.

"Nah, ya don't want that. A coupla weeks ago some mother of some 24 year old kid was bugging him to get married so she could have some grandchildren. I was well dressed and I think she mistook me for a Hugh Beaumaont type that had raised a bunch of kids and she asked me to tell her son what I did when I was 24."

"What DID you do when you were 24?" asked the trooper.

"I told the woman and the guy that when I was 24 I hitchiked to Alaska and got picked up by a 40 year old retired Las Vegas showgirl in a powder blue Lincoln Continental. I shacked up with her and drank 12 year old scotch for about six months until she ran out of money. Then I ditched her."

The cop laughed. "That's what you're SUPPOSED to do when you're 24," he said. "What did the woman say?"

"She got all bent out of shape and I told her to leave the poor guy alone because he was probably waiting for a decent woman so the kids don't wind up on the Jerry Springer Show," I replied.

The cop laughed.

"Here's what we're going to do, said the cop. I'm going to take you around again and let you go through with your E-Z Pass. It'll likely screw their system up and they'll figure it was a glitch and throw it out. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Follow me."

I reached under the seat, found my E-Z Pass and put it back on the windshield where it belonged.

I followed him and he took me through an official use only exit and I went through and waved. He waved back. Then I reentered the highway and noted that this time the light turned green. I was good to go.

Sometimes when you screw up the best thing to do is face it then and there. Cops are generally guys that like to help people if the people are honest and ask for help.

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  2. Outstanding!!

    I grew up in Northern Idaho and mourn how far our society has gone down the crapper. In my hometown, your kind of humor and common sense is just that, common. Kids minded their elders and had respect and if they didn't they were punished by whoever caught them and then were turned over to their parents for more of the same.

    I was taught from an early age to do the right thing even if you dont think anyone is watching. I'm glad to see I wasnt the only one.