Tuesday, December 16, 2014

I just read where there is another remake of King Kong

 on the drawing board slated for 2017. It sounds like a waste of time and money because they got that one right the first time back in 1933.

I ought to write a screenplay and call it The LAST remake of King Kong and mix and match all of the characters of the previous versions. I'll add a couple, too.

Of course, Henry P. "Crash" Murphy, 107 years old, and one of the original aviators would be in it. He'd steal a biplane off of the museum ship Intrepid and be seen charging in there with a reluctant gunner that tried to stop him but was too late and found himself in the rear seat.

Old crash would be doing a few mauevers to get used to flying again. The rear gunner, a graduate of Top Gun, would be in the back seat scared stiff and puking out the cockpit as Crash heads for the Empire State building snap-rolling the old two winger.

Picture old Crash wild-eyed and cackling as he bears down on poor old Kong with the guns a-blazing having the time of his life.

The Skull Island business would be a pretty good deal, too. Instead of being a native village it would be a think tank of various engineering types and mathamaticians living there but with a caveat in their rental agreement. They have to act as natives if anyone shows up to hunt for Kong. So you see these guys all pissed off over having to get into native costumes and practice dancing around before the Kong hunters arrive.

Watching a bunch of engineers and mathamaticians practice speaking gibberish so as to pass as natives should be a pretty good sight to behold.

The gas bombs used to subdue the oversized primate would be huge clouds of marijuana smoke provided by none other than Cheech and Chong.

There would be more involvement of political officials, too. You'd get to see the mayor flipping out and doing what politicians do which is worry about votes instead of trying to save the public. 

Of course, the screams of Fay Wray would have to be lifted from the original sound track because we have never found such a scream queen as her. Jamie Lee Curtis, scream queen extrodinaire, was a not very close second to Fay Wray.

As for Kong himself, he'd be the original 1933 version instead of the newer creations. They got that one right the first time, too.

If I had the time to write a screenplay for this I'd be on it in a heartbeat. It would be a service to the American public and keep them from having to sit through another sad remake of an American classic.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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