Saturday, June 6, 2015

I heard something yesterday that's been said to me.

Some guy called told some stuffy woman to wait her turn like everybody else at Lowe's. Of course, she got all uppity.

There is nothing worse than someone getting what they have coming to them and this woman had it coming.

I really had a hard time not laughing until she tried another tack. 

"I'm going to get my husband!" she said. "He'll take care of this."

"Bring it on, Bitch!' replied the guy. "Hope his life insurance is paid up."

Then she went into the next predictable phase. She started looking around for a champion and made the mistake of looking at me.

I agree with him," I said. "Every word. I'll bet you don't like your husband very much. Plan on living off of his insurance or something?"

"What do you mean by that? she demanded.

"Saying you're going to get your husband," I said. "To fight someone over what honor you don't have. If he does, he's a fool and deserves what he gets. It will likely be short, sharp, extremely violent and someone-likely your husband- is either going to wind up hospitalized or dead. The Marquis of Queensbury rules don't apply here."

She stood there agape.

" You don't know who that guy is," I continued. "He could be a gang banger, a drug addict, a former Army Ranger or maybe a veteran that has killed six people with his bare hands. We're not talking about a schoolyard tiff here.This is Allegheny county and there are about 250,000 people licensed to carry firearms in it."

"Then you look at me to be your champion and expect me to take up for you after I watched you rudely barge through to the head of the line and get called on for it. I did not live to be an old man of sixty-three by risking my life to save the day for rude people. To put it plain, if I'm not f***ing you, I'm not supporting you."

She looked stunned.

"Truth is, your problem is you need more education," I said.

"I have a liberal arts degree." she said, defensively.

"Must not have been a very good school," I replied.

"Dusquene University," she said.

"A lousy school." I replied.

"Why's that?" Her voice showed she was offended even more.

"They didn't teach you any manners," I shot back. "If they had, you wouldn't be standing in a Lowe's making an ass of yourself. You'd have quietly gotten into line and nobody would have said anything to you."

Then I walked off.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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