Then we started doing lines off the stripper's butt...

I have half a mind to write and post the story I told to a classmate this past August when she spied me with my 2 year old godson.

The classmate actually recognized me after almost a half century and asked if the two year old was my grandson.

Of course, I saw nothing more or less than a nice, juicy opportunity to stir up something and create a little mischief.

“Uhhhh…no.” I said. “You want the truth? He’s my son. I didn’t marry a younger woman. I was at a bachelor party about three years ago and knocked up one of the strippers.”

She looked really uncomfortable. I thought I’d quit but realized that her desire to spread a rumor would overcome her discomfort.  I also decided that I was in the mood to play the pile it on until the pile collapses or doesn’t collapse game.

“I hadn’t been to a bachelor party or done any serious drinking in decades and had forgotten when to quit drinking. Of course I got fried and one of the guys broke out an 8-ball of coke which I have never done before that but when you are that toasted you do it.”

She was standing there agape and on the verge of outraged. I got her over that line pretty quickly.

“Then we started doing lines of coke off the stripper’s butt …” and I knew I had crossed the line. She was outraged. “The stripper was telling me how she had this thing for older men and one thing led to another and I woke up passed out with her the following day.”

She just stared at me.

“A few months later she found me and told me what had happened. When the boy was born I had the DNA run and sure enough, he’s mine. Of course, his mother started into doing meth so I had child services give me custody.”

I picked up my godson and gave him a hug. She looked on approvingly.

“He’s been good for me because I have to stick around to raise him. It’s made me stop drinking and smoking,” I said and then excused myself. I knew she’s swallowed it whole.

Sure enough, it got back to me a couple of days later through the gossip mill. Of course I denied everything and let the little gossip make a fool of herself.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY