I was picking up a tote at Target and was checking them out and my phone rang. A woman was about four feet away doing the same thing. My phone rang. I answered it. It was a telemarketer.
This is what she heard.
"How am I doing? Not worth a fiddler's f***. I woke up with a nasty sore on the head of my crank. I think I got it up from some broad I picked up at the club the other night. Last time it happened I was taking shots for two weeks. That was some baaaad $hit!
The woman's eyes popped out of the sockets, her jaw dropped and she nearly went into shock.
I put my finger over the microphone hole and said to her, "Telemarketer."
She put her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh and said to me, "Please continue."
The telemarketer said something and I responded, "You're just jealous because I get more pu$$y than you. You know how it is. You probably couldn't get laid in a $2 whorehouse with a stack of $100 bills. I'm 70 years old and get more a$$ then a toilet seat in the ladies room next to the beer stall of a baseball game at Yankee stadium!"
The woman was laughing herself silly. I turned to her after the telemarketer hung upon me. "That's the way it's done. The object of the game is to make THEM hang up on YOU.
The woman turned to me and said, "You are obviously a professional. Do you always go through life that way?"
"Absolutely! It is morally wrong not to do so." I replied.
She laughed.
What's so interesting is the connection we made. She was in her mid to late 40s, probably divorced and her kids were older. She looked just like the kind of woman I dated often in my late 20s and early 30s.
As an old man it's wonderful to be appreciated for your talents.
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