I spoke with your dad and he told me you were working in an emergency room now. Straight out of the frying pan and into the fire. My guess is it's probably a good place for you. It's probably a damned good place for you to get to see it all and have to learn to deal with things and think on your feet.
I heard you feel inadequate because you missed out on a certain training class. Don't be. I ran into a couple of RNs at Sheetz and mentioned this and they both said you probably didn't miss much.
Fact is, the services take a kid fresh out of school and run him through about 16 weeks of training and send him to an infantry unit and he becomes the platoon doc and deals with it. Here he is 18 or 19 years old and he's dealing with everything between a cold and traumatic amputation. These guys generally do just fine.
It should be noted that they often deal with some of these injuries while under fire.
Over the years I've run into a number of nurses that served in Vietnam and to a woman they all said it was the high point of their careers. Some of them extended their tours, others came home and returned to their 'specialty', peds, geriatrics, OR, whatever. A number of them left their specialty because they felt they had skills that would make a difference and went back to the Emergency Room and made their careers there.
The woman up the street up the street flew 'dust offs' as a flying nurse. When I first moved in I'd watch her come home smiling with satisfaction most days, but other days in a bloody flight suit with the 10,000 yard stare. That's when I knew she had a really rough day.
One time I saw her come home in a soaking wet flight suit and knew she'd had a rough day. Still, she had a satisfied look on her face.
The next day she'd be up and running at about 2800 feet per second off to stand by to fly again. She was basically an ER nurse but her ER was often on-scene at a traffic accident out in the weather.
When she wasn't dealing with on-scene medicine she was flying to assist a patient being taken to another hospital to see a specialist.
Let's talk about medicos in general. None of the people in medicine are miracle workers. They just arrange for the miracle to occur.
When I was in 5th grade I broke a leg and it was a particularly nasty break. It was set by a Doctor Kilfoyle, who was six days older than dirt and a true craftsman. He could have easily retired a few years earlier but he loved his work.
After he set it he showed my dad the x-rays and was really proud of his work. He said, "I love arranging miracles and now we'll get to watch one as his body heals itself."
That stuck with me. Medicos don't perform miracles. They simply do the best they can to arrange the miracle to occur.
Get that in your head. You can't perform miracles. And another thing is that you can't win them all. All you can do is to try and arrange a miracle and sometimes it is not to be.
About 20 year ago I broke a foot and the hospital sent me to a sports clinic when they looked at the x-ray. The first doctor I saw was fairly young and full of himself and pissed me off. He was talking about sports and after several times of telling him I had no interest in sports I asked him if there was an EENT clinic in the compound and he asked me why I wanted to know. "So you can get your fuckin' ears fixed. I hate sports."
He got uppity and told me he was an orthopedic surgeon and I snapped back that my neighbor was an auto mechanic and the only difference is he, the doctor, washed his hands after he took a piss and my neighbor, the mechanic, washed his hands before he took a piss. He stormed out.
A few minutes later an older guy walked in with a shit eating grin and asked me if I had told his associate the difference between a mechanic and a surgeon. I told him I had.
He laughed and told me that he had been a mechanic once and I was spot on. He also took me into his confidence and told me he was a high school dropout that had gotten drafted and was sent to Fort Sam to be trained as a medic because he tested high.
Later in Vietnam he patched up someone that had been torn up with what he had to work with including pieces of stainless steel safety wire and had him evacuated. While one doctor at the MASH unit wanted him courts-martialed, the senior doctor saw talent and had him pulled from his unit and had him work with him in the OR for a while.
He went from being a private to becoming an orthopedic surgeon compliments of the army and had retired as a colonel. He was an interesting man. When my foot was set and casted he said something Dr Kilfoyle has said years earlier. "Now the miracle will happen."
While you were growing up I saw you were a kind, respectful, youngster, wide-eyed, somewhat shy and full of ideals. I knew you were one of those special kids that would grow up and try to make a difference.
The only thing that you don't have is confidence in yourself. I saw that in you while you were growing up. SURPRISE! I have confidence in you and won't give up on you even if you give up on yourself. You can easily do this.
When Cully and I would sit in my driveway drinking beer occasionally he would tell me you were one of the kids that spoke to him and made him feel like a human being instead of part of the woodwork. He knew you were special.
When your mother told me you wanted to go to nursing school she said she was surprised. I wasn't. You're one of those people that wants to make a difference. It speaks highly of you. Don't lose your ideals or you will lose a very important part of yourself.
While we're on the subject of making a difference, that ER is a damned good spot to make a difference. You're generally the first point of contact someone makes that needs medical care.
The Emergency room can be a wonderful education on life if you pay attention. You will see the miracles of birth and death, and practically everything in between. Most likely you already have. Learn to embrace it. Every life has a beginning, a middle and an end.
Mine is rapidly coming to an end with no regrets. You still have plenty of time to make a difference. You may not realize if but one of the nurses I spoke with that told me to tell you not to worry about missing the training told me that most of what you will be doing there can be handled by a motivated kid that was run through Ft. Sam. I believe her.
You'll see a lot of life. You will see a 45 YO man in a panic over a small cut and another dark humored person carrying a traumatically amputated foot in his hand come hopping in singing "Always look on the bright side of life".
My advice to you is to simply follow your instincts and training and do the best you can. I expect you will do just this after you get used to things. I know you'll be successful.
Keep you chin up and hang in there. You may surprise yourself and decide to make your career in the ER because it'll keep you busy.
Don't brood on any mistakes you make. YOU are not a miracle worker. You are a human being and the last time I checked, so am I and we both make mistakes.
Do swing by for a few minutes the next time you're in town.
Wonderful post, Pic. Well said! While in the Army I was treated a few times by the medics, and they were the best! Thank God for Army medics.
ReplyDeleteHave a great New Year!