I almost had to call the cops the other night,

which is always a bummer.

I haven't done that to anyone in many years. I don't like to do that, but I am getting too old to go down and beat the hell out of some loudmouth. Shooting the idiot is not an option and just plain killing him with fire will make the neighbors get a tad wierded out.

So civilized behavoir makes calling the police a necessity at times.

Neighbor Bob and I were sitting by the fire in my back yard getting ready to split a half-pint of Oh,be joyful when the loudmouth behind us and down a few houses went outside and started this loud, drunken, foul-mouthed conversation.

This guy is a notorious loud, foul mouthed jerk with a big ego. I have dealt with him before. However, I have no desire to listen to the Jerry Springer show in my back yard.

I shouted down to him and told him to shut the hell up and take it inside. He ignored my first request. My second request was a reiminder that I wouldn't even have to get up to dial 911. Thank God for cell phones. Just then someone with half a brain dragged him inside.

Thank God.

I can invision what a call to 911 would have been like.

Cop comes, stops, listens and I ask him to shut the loudmouth up.

Cops hate doing things like this, so here I am trying to make it palatable for the poor bastard.

"Hey," I say to the cop. "He's going to get nebby and ask who ratted him out. Tell him four pretty rough looking veterans are up here cleaning service rifles and drinking heavily. Tell him you counted two empty whiskey bottles on the ground and the third one had a pretty good dent in it."

The cop surpresses a smirk. "I can't tell him that," he replies.

"What's he gonna do about it? Call the police?"

The cop outright smirks. "I'll take care of it," he says and walks off.

Most cops hate doing things like that, but do so to prevent a fight from boiling over.

I really don't like calling them because the poor bastards have enough to deal with, but in this day and age, a baseball bat is no longer an option.



my other blog is:http://piccolosbutler.blogspot.com/