Saturday, May 15, 2010

I saw someone get hit on the head with a

cheeseburger the other day. I have to admit that it was wrong.

It should have been a brick.

I won't get into what started the vicious assault, except to say that the victim of this dastardly deed was running his mouth at about Mach 4 and whining about what someone else fifty yards away was doing.

Someone probably knew him and was tired of his conduct so they walloped him with a burger, which was fine by me for two reasons. First, I really didn't like the guy and figure he had it coming, and second, it was pretty good entertainmant.

It's been years since I have seen a food fight in a public place.

Anyway, when the injured party got clobbered, the look of outrage was there just like the look shown some muckety-muck that gets hit with a pie in the Thre Stooges.

A couple of seconds later, he started shooting off his mouth again with a fairly common spiel.

"I've got my rights," he said.

That's when I got involved.

"One of your rights is to remain silent. Had you exercised that a few minutes ago, you would not have an earful of special sauce and lettuce and pickles in your hair," I said to him.

Then I told the perpetrator of this evil deed of violence to unass the area of operations MOST riki-tik, as there is nothing so vengeful as a person that has just gotten what they have had coming.

Sure enough, the injured party had called the Gendarmes and a few seconds after the perp left, in walked the local cop.

I quietly left before he started asking questions because I was damned sure I'd say something and get into hot water. I waited outside.

When the cop went back to his patrol car, I headed him off and told him that what happened and the cop grinned and said something interesting to me.

"A big part of my job is dealing with angry people that have just gotten what they have had coming to them," he said.

Huh. I'll bet it is a big part of his job.

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