Friday, March 16, 2012

Today is a blah day.

I really do not have a whole lot to say for a change but I have pretty good news.

No, I did not save a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to GEICO.

I got in touch with my nephew last night and he is going to pay me a visit and hang out for a few days. That is pretty important to me because he is going to get a little responsibility dumped on him when he gets here.

One of the things that I want to get taken care of while I am alive and in one piece is what is to be done with me after I cease to exist.

He's getting that little chore dumped on him. It will be his job to see that the box containing my remains is turned over to the United States Navy for burial at sea.

I can imagine how that's going to work out and I can see a circus in the making but he's the guy for the job.

I suppose if the pickup I own still runs he can save a few bucks by throwing the box in the back and heading off to Norfolk to deliver the body. He's smart enough to tie the load down and cover it with a tarp.

Then again maybe I should find someone a little less responsible for the job as it would be a lot more fun to look down from the heavens and watch a 3 ring circus as the box falls out of the pickup while going up a hill. I can see it now. A couple of drunks trying to drag the box back and reload it on the pickup on the Pennsylvania turnpike as a trooper drives up and beer cans roll out of the bed.

Or pulling up to the base entrance with a pickup full of beer cans and a casket in the bed.

"May I help you," asks a spiffy sailor.

"Yeah. I got my Uncle Pic in the back here and I want to take him to where you bury people at sea."

"Hmmm," says the sailor. "I gotta inspect this vehicle."

"OK, but Uncle Pic's gettin' kinda ripe and I was hoping to get him into a refrigerator before he starts too stinky. Ya might really want to freeze him. The pizza and six-pack he had before he died really tore his ass up."

He exits the vehicle and there is the ringing noise of an empty Jameson's bottle hitting the pavement.

Still, I look forward to seeing my nephew because he is no longer a damned kid. He is a good man and I respect him. I have a lot of things to do before he arrives.

It'll be a pretty good three or four days with him hanging out and doing dopey guy things.

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