Thursday, July 5, 2012

AH, yes. It's the 5th of July

and I think I'll check up on something my buddy's mom told me about when I was a kid after I blew a pretty good sized pothole in the road and was sitting there admiring my handiwork.

I'm headed to the hospital to visit the ward where they send little kids that blew themselves up on the Fourth.

Mrs Quinten told me there was a special ward where they took kids that injured themselves with fireworks and that if I ever took a walk through the ward I would see all the horrible injuries and never light another fuse.

A couple of years ago I chatted with a doctor that had emergency room duty on the Fourth and he reported to me that most of the Fourth of July fireworks injuries were generally the result of stupidity on the part of the parents.

Some idiot drunken dad would shoot the kid in the ass with a Roman candle thinking it would not do any damage  or a mother would toss a cigarette into a pile of powder the kid would be setting up.

The doctor was pretty funny because I suppose he had heard the rumors mothers told their kid about things over the years. He asked me tongue in cheek if I wanted directions to the Fireworks ward.

"Go past the Permanant Records vault and down to the Skateboard injuries ward and take a right. and go down 4 doors. Two doors doown is the Three Stooges ward and whatever you do, don't go in there by mistake as the traumatic injuries there will leave you horribly upset for weeks. Skip the Stooges ward and two doors down is the fireworks ward."

'Thanks, Doc."

He looked at me. "The kids in the throwaway ward would really appreciate a visitor," he added.

"Tha throwaway ward? I asked.

"Yeah. It's the ward we send kids to that were not wearing clean underwear when they got to the hospital. We just put them there because they don't come from good families and don't try very hard to save them." he added.

I remember that I almmost ended up there as a kid because one time I got hurt and my mother made me change my shorts before she took me to the hospital. Thanks, Ma!

So my project for today is to go to the hospital and visit the kids that were horribly injured yesterday.

Whilre I'm there, I might try and sneak into the permanant record vault and clean my record up a bit.

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