Saturday, July 21, 2012

WHy is the phone in the refrigerator?

Cell phone and fire alarm in refrigerator.

The cook was busy making something to eat and I decided I wanted a cold drink so I opened the refrigerator and noted the contents. There were the usual foods and beverages and the cook's cell phone and the ship's smoke detector. I noticed there were steaks out so everything seemed to add up.

Over the years I have done the same thing at home and it works. Before the days of answering machines I used to put the phone in the refrigerator when I didn't want to be bothered by the damned thing. It could ring in there for hours on end for all I cared.

Sometimes when I was in a bad mood and tossed the phone in the fridge I would smile and say to it, "Ring, you bastard! Ring yourself off the hook!" and I'd smile a little as I closed the door.

There are a few things that make me put the smoke detector in the refrigerator and one of them is when I decide to burn beef. Cooking a steak on a hot skillet will set the alarm off every time and it is annoying as hell listening to that noisy thing while I am simply trying to make a meal of some sort.

There are actually 2 reasons the smoke detector goes in the fridge. Ine is, of course, to keep it from going off and the other is so I will run into it shortly after dinner and replace it. While I could simply take the battery out and call it good, it is easy to forget to replace the battery. When it is in the refrigerator I will run into it after dinner sometime and put it back where it belongs.

Now that I have an answering machine for the phone I can simply turn the bell off and not have that damned thing bug me. Most of the calls the land line gets are only telemarketers, anyway and they hang up automatically when the answering maching kicks on.

I don't even know why I have a land line anymore and I have seriously considered getting rid of it but the Mrs keeps coming up with reasons for keeping the damned fool thing.

Back when we had the old style cradle phone with real ringers in them and I would stuff them into the refrigerator it was funny to see someone open it up and go agape and tell me, "Hey, did you know the telephone is in the refrigerator?"

Women would look confused when I told them why, but an awful lot of guys would smile and many would tell me they would have to remember that trick the next time they wanted peace and quiet. It works like a charm.

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  1. Ya know you can turn the ringer off on modern phones and can unplug an old fashioned phone. Helps to be smarter than the equipment.

  2. Yes, common knowledge.

    However, it is far more satisfying looking at the refrigerator and saying, "Now ring yourself off the hook, you bastard!"